A Jaded Soul (feeling tired of same thing)

Name - Hema
Gender - Female
Age - 46
Focus Score - 6/10
Visualization - 2, Auditory - 8, Kinesthetic- 5
Eye roll score - 1
Pain level before - 9 /10

Theme – Loneliness. Feels struggling all the time.

HISTORY

Hema is younger amongst two sisters. Unfortunately, a year ago the elder sister passed away due to severe medical illness.

Hema is a single mother to 15year girl. She had an arranged marriage which ended within 2years span leaving a baby behind. Ever since separation Hema is living with her parents. Meeting her day-to-day ends with a corporate job. Her parents are 70+, losing their first child was traumatizing to them due to which both are now emotionally and medically inadequate. Few months ago, Hema’s mother has gone through pacemaker surgery.

Hema was always on obese side; her average weight was not less than 90+Kgs. She went through stomach binding surgery wherein she did lose her weight but along with that came many other medical problems.

According to Hema, nothing comes easily to her. Even after struggle if she gets something it is just for namesake. The loneliness makes her more restless, due to which there’s always arguments in family.

SESSION

We did a small prayer, and I started with Dave Elman then Progressive relaxation, and explored Happy Childhood memories -

She remembered herself as a 7year old cycling and singing song, she had a smile on her face during that moment. Another memory she visited was her mother is taking up her lessons wherein her elder sister (who passed away) is along.

Moving further, we reached to luscious green jungle, it was getting dark, she was scared being alone there*. {Hema started crying with heavy breathing, was shivering and rolling her legs up and down}*

{Her Visualization score is TWO, but the way she described the jungle I learnt that she may have not taken the virtual test correctly - https://amarantos.org/plrt/ }

C: Am scared, NO one is around.

T: It’s okay to feel so, don’t be scared. Take deep breaths. 3…2…1. As you breath… you will feel lighter and better.

{After some time…. Her breathing came to normal pace}.

T: Take your time…, be in the moment, you may feel the air, explore around if you can find something.

C: Its dark all around, am scared {tears rolling continues}

T: {Guiding her to move forward} Its okay… don’t be scared. Follow around, you may find a light somewhere.

C: {with a gap of sometime} Yes, I can see the light.

T: Very good… follow the light… this light will guide to a significant place or a moment of your journey.

C: Am at a sea. A huge sea, no one is around, am all alone {tears continued rolling}

T: Be there, you may rest there, feel the breeze… the fresh air around.

T: {after some time} can you peep into the water. How do you look like?

C: Am a 25yr old girl… wearing pajama’s …

T: Is this the same Hema?

C: No, I look different.

C: {after some time} There are some people…. I don’t know them… they are looking at me, but not talking to me… They are moving from there…. I want to follow them.

T: Sure, go ahead…

C: It’s a village, they brought me to my house.

T: What else is there around?

C: An old lady… she’s asking me to make chapati’s. There is no stove… it’s a chulhaa.

T: Who is this lady?

C: Dadi Maa (Grandmother).

T: How does she look like?

C: She has no teeth…, she is smiling.

{This is the moment; I too had a flash of my late Nani Maa (mother’s mother). Later after the session was completed, she confirmed that it was our Nani Maa :blush: }

T: What does she call you?

C: Beta… she calls me beta only. We are now eating lunch.

T: Is there anyone else accompanying you for lunch?

C: No, only two of us… I see few people standing outside the house gate. Ladies… they are looking at me and talking something.

T: Do you recognize the ladies them?

C: Yes!

T: Would you like to go out of the gate and explore more.

C: Yes… am walking outside… Is a river side… No one is there… am all alone {and her tears started rolling again}

T: {The crying was increasing} Its okay…. Take deep breaths and you should feel better….3…2….1… {giving her some moment} Maybe you could sit there for some time… if you wish you may also have some water from the river.

C: {After some time. Her expressions were like she’s drinking the water} With a sound…. hmmmmm…. its sweet… refreshing. {she looked better now}

T: Nice… whenever your ready you may move ahead from there.

C: A bus…. Am in a bus now… it’s a window seat… I feel nice… breeze coming on my face.

T: Would you know where is this bus heading to?

C: To office… the city side…I have got off from the bus… walking now…having juice…there’s a shop… I usually buy juice from here before going to the office…

T: Which juice is it?

C: It’s a lime juice … {and she smacked as if she could feel the taste} hmmmm…. I like it… :blush: am going to the office now… there are lot of files on my desk… all accounts files… I have to sign them.

T: Do you put any name and date while signing?

C: Ashok… 03rd October 1957. {Hema is born on 4th October}

T: How old are you, Ashok?

C: 25…. There are lot of people in office… am going to canteen with them. But I did not get lunch so am going to have some chai and Parle-G biscuit…. {with some time gap here} …. Am back home. Mumma is calling for dinner… I Mumma and pappa are eating together. {Later after the session was completed, she confirmed that they are the same parents as today}.

T: Did you have any conversation with them?

C: NO.

T: Are there anyone more in the family?

C: Rahul… he is my elder brother and his daughter Parul. I like to play with Parul. {Hema, with a smile on her face moved her hand as she was throwing a ball}

{Later after the session was completed, she confirmed that Rahul is her first cousin. During Raul’s early age he lost his parents and that’s when he was living with Hema’s family. Living with them, he finished his studies, got settled in corporate world and now happily married and settled in Chennai}

T: Can you go to any other significant moment which comes?

C: {after a long pause} I feel old now.

T: How old do you feel?

C: 54.

T: Could you help me to know more please?

C: Its nighttime am going to bed, and I don’t wake-up. I feel that I have died. There are people around, they are crying.

T: What happens after you die. Can you float above?

C: There’s someone who has come…. Baba…

T: How does the baba look?

C: He’s smiling at me… he has a shining face… long white beard.

T: You can ask him any question you want and listen for the answers. Any question that you may have.

C: He is not talking to me…. “Kaun ho tum baba” *{Who are you, baba}, “*kyu tum mujh se baat nahi kar rahe?” {why aren’t you talking to me}…He is just smiling, I am sitting next to him… I feel nice…peaceful. I don’t want to go anywhere else. “Baba… mujhe apne saath hi rakho aap… mujhe kahi nahi jana”. He is still not talking to me… just smiling…… **{Later}, “My head hurts” …

T: Would you like to move further from here?

C: No, I like being here.

T: and …. how does Hema feel now?

C: Peaceful.

T: What would Hema like to take along with her?

C: {after a long pause with a smile she said…} “Hare Krishna……everything will be fine.”

With her permission brought back to normal state. She emerged with a smiling face and her expression was relaxed.

AFTER THE SESSION ENDED

We discussed the overall experience on a cup of tea. Further, on asking to rate the PAIN LEVEL NOW: She said 3/10.

RECOMMENDATIONS

To keep sipping water throughout the day. To continue guided meditation.

When option given to get another session, she did agree to same. Hopefully it will be concluded soon*.*

CLIENT FEEDBACK

On checking up the next day, Hema said she continued to have a heavy head, was feeling sleep, but more clam. She felt like NOT talking to anyone, just stay quiet to self.

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