“I feel as if I have no home to go. I never feel attached to my husband or daughter. I just feel I am just doing my duty. If someone tells me I have to die now,I won’t feel sad, I can leave this body. I am just living because there is no other option.I am carrying a body which has no life. It is not like I hate my life or family but it is something like I don’t feel any attachment;no love no hate kind”.
This was the verion of a 36 years old lady who contacted me with this unique problem. She is a clinical investigator working in one of the pharma company in bangalore. She is married and has a 2year old daughter. She feels her problem is quite unusual. The feeling of not belongingness is distrbing her family and social life. She never feels like going out and enjoy rather she finds it intimidating. So, people in her family and friends started avoiding her lately .The things becomes worse when her mother in law started blaming her for this unusual behaviour.
So, with the theme of 'feeling of not belongingness" we have started the session.
T: what is coming to your awareness?
C: There is a boy…there are grass… he is playing…
T: Look at your feet …what are you wearing?
C: I am a 2-3 year old boy wearing shoes and short pant…white stripes on my shirt…I have chubby face…
…Looks like the boy is mentally unstable….
…Looks like it is some costal area of India
(Here the client reported all blank. So, bring her to rest in the garden and started progressive relaxation for next few minutes)
T: What is coming to your awareness?
C: …There are flags…red, blue, white colour flags… It’s a mountain area …I am standing on the top of the mountain…there are trees, rivers…I can see it from mountain top…
T:Look at your feet what you are wearing?
C:.I am barefoot but wearing a long dress…I am an old lady…in my 70’s probably…
T:Go to next significant event of that lifetime
C:Somebody was killed… It seems …I was attacked so I killed the person…
T:What you are feeling?
C:Feeling scared…locking the doors… my house is on the mountain…Its made of stone…It’s a small house…wooden furniture
…(Stated crying)…I killed my own son…I think he was troubling someone; some lady…and I wanted to save her…
T:Whom you wanted to save?
C:She was his wife…my daughter- in- law…he was beating her…
T:Go back to the time may be few years before the incident happened
C: I am very happy now… Me and my son are together…We are talking on some topic and laughing…He seems be in his 14-15
T:Go back to the time just few minutes before the lady dies
C: I feel like I am going to jump from the mountain… I don’t want to live anymore
T:Go back to the time few minutes after death
C:Soul is out from the body… It is so happy as it is not in the body….It can go wherever it wants to… to the mountain, to the trees… feeling so so happy…feeling so free( smile on her face)
T: What happened next?
C: Nothing… I am just flying from here to there…
T:Is there any light coming?
C: No body is coming …
( Her facial expressions changed, she looked sad and tensed)
T: What is coming to your awareness?
C:…Feel like homeless now… I want to go to my home…but don’t know how to go where to go…
T: How long you were there in that state?
C: May be 10 or 100 years…don’t know exactly…but for many many years …
( After that she started smiling)
T: What is happening?
C: There is a white light…The white light is coming….Feeling happy now… I can go to my home now…
T: What happened next?
C: I am going up… crossing the clouds… I feel like I merged with that light.
T: Review your life from the light …What you have learnt from that life?
C:To be patient and to wait for time
T: What is the learning lesson of the current life?
C: Never take sudden decisions.…
Client wants to come back from this stage so respecting her decision, i brought her back from trance.
Soon after she opened her eyes, she told me that the feeling not belongingness she has been carrying till today is something similar to what she felt when her soul was not able to go to light. It is the same kind of feeling.
After almost one month, the client called me and told that the homeless feeling is completely gone. She now feels that she has a home to go, a family who is waiting for her.
.