“Because I’m a good person”

[hc2101 (Harmeet Kaur)]

All my questions arise at random places, this one again at a radio talk show while driving, heard a radio host say, “I will do this because I’m a good person,” and it immediately triggered an inner voice in me, whether goodness is something we are? or something we perform? And then label ourselves with?

All my life I hear elders saying “पुण्य करो”

When someone does good deeds with the thought “this makes me a good person,” do they still creat pure good karma through the action itself, or are they mixing it with attachment to identity, validation, and self-image? And if sense of being good depends on constantly proving it through actions, are they living from genuine inner clarity—or from a need to reinforce an ego story that says “I am good”?

It’s the intention attached to the karma but why most people say that “because I’m a good person” ? does it take away the meaning when they do it with that “being good” intention knowingly? Or it reduces the outcome? Why it can’t be selfless? Why people have to announce it?

[priyanka.bhu12 (Priyanka Sharma)]

Harmeet Ji, your question felt very thoughtful as many times even I have wondered about this silently. In my understanding, karma is not only about the action, but also the feeling and intention behind it. A good deed done with kindness still creates good energy, but when the mind keeps holding the label “I am a good person,” somewhere the ego also gets attached to it.

Maybe that is why true goodness is often described as something natural and quiet. Like a flower giving fragrance without announcing it, like a tree providing shed and oxygen. When goodness comes from inner compassion, there is less need to prove it or speak about it. But at the same time, I feel we are still learning and evolving emotionally, so sometimes we may announce our goodness unknowingly because the mind seeks validation, appreciation or reassurance of identity.

I don’t think it completely removes the value of the deed, but perhaps it reduces the purity of the intention a little. Selfless karma is probably very rare because the ego quietly mixes itself in many ways. That is why spiritual paths keep reminding us to do karma and slowly let go of the “I” attached to it.

Your question beautifully points towards the difference between “being good” and “appearing good.” For me, true goodness feels more silent, effortless and without any calculation or tag of “I am a good person”.

[hc2101 (Harmeet Kaur)]

@priyanka.bhu12

When goodness comes from inner compassion, there is less need to prove it or speak about i

That’s it! That’s the answer right there!

[hc2101 (Harmeet Kaur)]

Priyanka, you added beautiful elements to the core of it. Yes selfless acts are the key but somehow in the process we forget to detach ourselves from it and it creates an illusion of us being good, reality is we are just a medium and we should feel privileged to be the ‘medium’ of being good and doing good! Like there’s a beautiful line in गुरबानी -“ करण कारण प्रभु एक है दूसर नहीं कोई” that behind every event, person, action, or creation, there is ultimately one supreme source, we are nothing!

[vikrantsharma.sap (Vikrant Sharma)]

We always take credit for good things and blame god for all th4 BADS.

If I do bad, God did as he is driving us

So, I always believe be on one side and take credits of good and bad or leave everything to god

[hc2101 (Harmeet Kaur)]

Just do good and don’t harm or hurt anyone! But have self Respect. Don’t be a people Pleaser!

[ushapssk (Thirupurasundari Sivakumar)]

Absolutely true dear Harmeet
I totally agree with you my point is be a good human being and be honest to yourself

[venu]

@hc2101

“ करण कारण प्रभु एक है दूसर नहीं कोई”

this is the universal vision we all need to aspire for. The figurative opening of the 3rd eye… if being good is “Sattva” then it’s conducive to nirvana. very good discussion @hc2101 and edifying insight @priyanka.bhu12

[kobrakulsh (Supritee Kulshreshtha)]

@Harmeet

Personally, I feel most people don’t announce “I am a good person” out of arrogance…. many a times it comes from a hidden need to reassure themselves that they are worthy, lovable or morally safe in this complicated world. Almost like the ego quietly whispering, “Please see me as good.”

True goodness, I have noticed in life, is usually very silent It flows naturally, almost unconsciously..… like a mother waking up at 3 am for her child or a stranger helping someone and forgetting about it the next moment. There is no inner announcement there.

But at the same time, I also feel we should have compassion for those who still need to say it aloud.

Maybe they are still learning the difference between performing goodness and simply being rooted in it.

Perhaps pure karma happens when kindness becomes our nature, not our identity.

When there is no

“Look, I am good,”

and only

“This moment needed love.”

[kobrakulsh (Supritee Kulshreshtha)]

So beautifully expressed, Sir…

This one line

“करण कारण प्रभु एक है दूसर नहीं कोई”

itself can dissolve so much ego if one truly sits with it deeply.

In my own life and while working with clients, I have noticed how the mind quietly creates identity even around kindness and healing. Sometimes we unknowingly start feeling

“I healed,”

“I helped,”

“I saved.”

But the deepest moments are actually the ones where we later realize….. something far greater was moving through us and we are only witnessing it happen.

Perhaps this is why truly evolved souls often carry so much humility despite doing immense work in the world. They probably know the source is not the individual self.

Your point about Sattva being conducive to Nirvana is sooo profound.

Maybe real spirituality begins when goodness becomes effortless presence rather than personal achievement. When compassion flows naturally without the need to own it.

Thank you, Sir, for always bringing such grounded wisdom and expanding the conversation beyond intellect into lived understanding.

[hc2101 (Harmeet Kaur)]

@kobrakulsh

Personally, I feel most people don’t announce “I am a good person” out of arrogance

Yes of course, not out of arrogance but people say it casually, even jokingly sometimes no ego boost here! But this thought comes to my mind too, occasionally and it’s so annoying, I want to help someone because I REALLY feel like doing it, then next thought races through ‘oh yeah, I’m supposed to do that, because I’m a good person and that’s what I would do’ . The second I get that, I feel so irritated and think what the heck? Why can’t I do it with detachment and no strings attached. It has become a pattern now for me so hard to get rid of this!

[kobrakulsh (Supritee Kulshreshtha)]

My dear Harmeet… honestly this is such a beautifully self-aware observation

And I feel almost every sensitive and conscious person goes through this phase at some point.

I’ve noticed something very similar within myself too over the years..… especially while helping clients or even in very ordinary moments of life. The heart moves naturally first….. very innocently….. and then suddenly the mind arrives with its commentary

“See… this is because you are a good person.”

And the moment the mind labels it, the purity of this spontaneous feeling feels disturbed.

But I don’t think this means the goodness was fake. It simply means the ego wants to participate in everything….

even spirituality, kindness and healing That is its nature.

In fact, I feel, the irritation you experience afterwards is itself a very good sign. Because somewhere your soul already recognizes a deeper kind of love…. the kind that simply flows without self-image.

Most people never even notice this inner dialogue. The fact that you are observing it means awareness has already begun separating you from the pattern.

And slowly with life…..

with pain…..

with maturity..…

kindness becomes quieter.

Not because we force detachment..…

but because love starts feeling more natural than personal.

Like watering a plant.

You don’t stand there thinking,

“Wow, I am such a good human for watering this plant.”

You just do it because the plant was thirsty.

I think eventually compassion becomes like breathing.

No performance.

No suppression either.

Just presence.

So, my dear don’t be hard on yourself for these thoughts.

Even this is part of the journey from “being good” to simply “being love.”

[hc2101 (Harmeet Kaur)]

@kobrakulsh

And the moment the mind labels it, the purity of this spontaneous feeling feels disturbed.

Yes! It’s kills the intention and purity of the feeling and my mind labels it as ‘must do it’ instead of ‘just do it’

[hc2101 (Harmeet Kaur)]

@venu

@hc2101

करण कारण प्रभु एक है दूसर नहीं कोई”

this is the universal vision we all need to aspire for. The figurative opening of the 3rd eye… if being good is “Sattva” then it’s conducive to nirvana.

Yes truly! Long ago I watched a Bollywood movie ‘Aks’, Manoj Bajpayee played the role of an assassin in that, and every time he kills someone he would say “ना कोई मरता है ना मारता है, यह मैं नहीं कहता गीता में लिखा है, मैं तो निमित्त मात्र हूँ’

That word ‘निमित्त मात्र’ stayed with me. So every time I do something, I think of it as I’m just the medium/निमित्त मात्र! The idea is not ‘nothing matters’ or I am ‘irrelevant’ but something more precise. We are only the instrument through which action happens. I act fully, but I don’t carry the illusion that I alone own the entire outcome.