Career Instability & Overambition causing restlessness

|Name: A | Gender: M | Age: 28 yrs| Hypnotisability Score: 16/28 | Eye Roll Score: 2/5 | |Dominant Sense Assessment Score: V-5 | A - 8 | K - 4|
Pain Level Before: 10 | Pain Level After: 3

Client History Highlights:

  • I observed that the client was constantly struggling to seek approval from his father who apparently had very high expectations from him. The client told me that no matter what, my father would always tell me that you are capable of doing better but you are not doing enough. Hence, the client had fallen into the pattern of always feeling guilty / sorry about not doing enough. He was convinced by now that it is all his fault.
  • He started working in 2016 & has switched over 8 jobs so far. He claims that he clearly understands that things do take their sweet time to progress, still he becomes restless & overambitious & ends up jumping from one job to another.
  • Another pattern / personality trait I noticed during history taking was that he strongly felt that he was better than his contemporary & senior colleagues at work. Hence, they felt intimidated by him & started conspiring against him. This was another reason that the negativity around him made him restless. And he feels that this is so unfair. My observation was that his father’s lack of appreciation led him to think & act this way perhaps.
  • He was deeply attached to his grandmother & was affected by her loss & absence in his life.
  • He was a little disappointed that his bonding with his elder brother had changed over the past 3-4 years as his brother was given a scolding by his father for overindulging the client. He was not happy about it – missed his candid chats with his brother. He chose to try the PLR Therapy as he was seeking answers (read logic) to certain patterns & situations that were beyond his comprehension. He shared that he is emotionally numbed at the moment & he is constantly reliving the bad/painful incidents of his life in his mind. This activity is not allowing him to sleep soundly & he is feeling chaotic within.
  • He says that he has never had dreams barring 2 times & he remembered them vividly. He had a major car accident (2012) where he suffered a serious back injury that bothers him till date & the car was total loss. He said he saw his deceased grandmother in his dream before the accident happened & she had cautioned him that be considerate about your father, I can’t protect you every time. The accident happened the next day. Other dream that he saw was being a witness to cloud lightening causing fire in the field at the spot of a plot area next to his residence. He saw the fire & ran away. This made no sense to him but he could recall it vividly.
  • This idea of unintentionally intimidating people around him affected him the most in the most recent job he quit wherein, the workplace environment according to him was very negative. 3 of the female staff accused him of body shaming, inappropriate touching, etc. This out proportioned allegation took a toll on his mental health. He resigned immediately & was in a state where he just wanted a break to figure out things & did not want to get into a job just for the sake of being working.
  • Triggers – Anybody discussing his finances & saving (his father does a lot of that). If his father stops talking to him, it affects him immensely. At the time of therapy, his father was only indulging in surface talk with him & that too for the sake of being considerate of his mental state.
  • Interestingly, during resource collection, he mentioned his outstanding performances at his workplace. But when I asked him to mention his biggest achievements in life, he mentioned his JEE rank in IHM Entrance Test & his prize trophy that his father received on his behalf at school because he was away on training. Apparently, he saw this as a compensation to his father against the trouble he caused to him during his accident & academic failure.

Themes Agreed Upon:

  • What in me is causing Career instability – want to get rid of over ambition & restlessness.
  • He is not able to overcome one of his ex-girlfriend. Wants to explore why did they cross paths?

[He has had multiple love affairs but was not able to overcome just one girl, who eventually ended up using him emotionally & financially. The pattern of feeling responsible for the failure surfaced again when he said that had he given her more time & prioritised her over other things, perhaps she would not have behaved the way she did. I made note of that.]

SESSION 1: 10:00 am – 1:30 pm (16th February, 2023) Pain Level: 10

I was able to utilise this session up to stage 9. Since the client was more on introvert side, I literally had to dig out information by framing a hell lot of close-ended questions as he was not giving away too much. There was lack of eye contact, he was always looking down (mostly right). He also mentioned that he is very rigid about not opening up his heart to anybody else other than his brother or his father. Presently, the brother has withdrawn & he finds it difficult to face his father with failures in his kitty. I realised that the client’s dominant sense was Auditory, my challenge was going to be more enhanced here. So, I had to prepare the client patiently in order for him to be more engaged & participating.

SESSION 2: 2:00 pm – 6:15 pm (16th February, 2023):

Pain Level (before): 10 | Pain Level (after): 6

I started with Dave Elman, accompanied by pyramiding Progressive Relaxation. It took me over 1.5 hours to get him to the stage complete relaxation & muscular catalepsy. Began with making him visualise the garden & visiting his happy childhood memory. It was with her grandmother who he is very attached to & misses a lot. He was 8 yrs old in this memory. Gave me vivid description here & then easily drifted to another happy memory with his elder brother when he was 3 yrs old. I guided him to go back to the time when he was just born. I saw his eyes moving but he did not speak at all. I could see that his facial muscles were kind of frozen / relaxed & he was struggling hard to speak but his tongue was rolling on the side, leaving him disabled to speak. I allowed him the silence for a while. [suddenly ab reactions started – he felt acute stiffness in his right shoulder & upper arm.] Later told me that he even felt sensory heaviness in the left side of his chest.]

4:12 pm – he lost the trance. The ab reactions had made him pretty uncomfortable & he just opened his eyes. Gave him water to drink & let him rest for 5 minutes. Waited for him to start speaking. Then I asked him if he wanted to do this again? He was willing, so we started again. This time, it took me around 40-45 mins to achieve the level of relaxation I needed. However, there was no memory recall of time in the womb, before & after that. Around 5:50 pm, I decided to close the session. So I brought him back to the garden, to the bench. He recalled his last meeting with his ex-girlfriend (which had happened in a park & he was sitting on a bench only). He just told me who he was with & what conversation was happening – she is breaking up with me. I got my clue that it is a re-living pattern. I emerged him when he was ready. [He was uncomfortable with the pain in his shoulder & upper arm & his whole body felt stiff.] I just stressed upon the importance of being communicative during the session as that was the only bridge between me & the client. He understood that but told me that he was trying his best to speak but he could not (he thought - maybe he was too relaxed!).

SESSION 3: 10: 00 am – 3:45 pm (17th February, 2023):

Pain Level (before): 6 | Pain Level (after): 4

[The client told me that his shoulder was still stiff & aching. Overall, he felt his body muscles more relaxed & he felt receptive energetically. He had slept well the last night. I observed his level of introvertedness decreased significantly. This boosted my confidence.]

Started with Dave Elman, followed by Progressive Relaxation (Ball of Light being blue instead of white). My intuition guided me to do the “Black Box” visualisation with the client so that he could be more open & participating. [I did observe a certain expression of peace & calmness on his face after we were done with the black box visualisation.]

T: Now, return to the garden. Would you like to call somebody to be with you?
C: Granny [starts crying. Tears rolling down his cheeks. I let him be for a while]
T: What make you cry?
C: I am in granny’s lap. It is so comforting. I feel safe here.
[I led him into a tunnel visualisation wherein, he chose the Right door.]
C: It’s a huge hall [Eye balls start moving faster….too much discomfort … Raises the upper body… expression of fear & surprise]
T: What’s happening? Are you alright?
C: No response [ab reactions continue – looks like he is struggling with something]
T: Its alright…know that you are safe. If it is making you uncomfortable, just float above the scene – observe it from the top… take a deep breath & relax
C: [twitches eyebrows. Starts making weird faces depicting acute pain] I can’t bear this anymore… please bring me back, hurry up!
T: Ok. You are safe. Don’t worry. Try to relax. Calm down & breathe… I am here with you to keep you safe. [pause]
T: Would you like to go to some other lifetime?
C: No! It is very painful, I want to come back
[I emerged him as per the procedure] Time: 1:37 pm [when the client opened his eyes, his eyeballs were protruding out & he gave out an expression of extreme fear & surprise. I extended my hand to him to comfort him… sat down close to him. He climbed up my lap instantly & grasped me tightly. I rubbed his back to comfort him & embraced him softly to assure him that he was safe with me.]

He had seen himself being set on fire alive! He saw a few faces as flashes but could not recognise any of them. He noticed that there was a wooden almirah in that hall & he could not figure out any familiarity to this scene] Goes silent [offer him water & tissue to wipe his face.

C: Did I tell you that I have a tendency to inflict pain upon myself? The burning pain that I felt right now is somewhat similar to the kind of pain that I enjoy. [hangs his face down in despair]
T: When was the last time you did that?
C: During my Senior School days when I failed my exams – I would slowly cut my wrist with blade. [showed me marks that were difficult to identify without pinpointing]
T: Do you want me to wrap it up? You look drained?
C: My right shoulder ball & left elbow are COLD FROZEN – just can’t move them! Let’s try once more. I need to explore this. Please help me.

[We started again around 1:48 pm. Spent 30-40 mins in relaxing him to prepare for regression.]

T: Go back to that hall, where you saw yourself burning. Try not be an active participant – observe it from the top. You hear me?
C: [nods in affirmative] I am sitting on a school desk. There is blood all around. Too much blood [ab reactions start emerging]
T: Are you hurt? Or is it somebody else? Look around… do you hear anything?
C: I have been stabbed in my neck from behind [element of shock/surprise]
T: Who stabbed you?
C: She is standing near me [referring to his ex-GF] … laughing at me. There is a boy standing next to him.
T: Is it from your present life?
C: No. I am sure about that
T: What is she wearing? [I asked random descriptive questions to figure out if he was indeed in a past life or reliving some past incident] What place is it?
C: Looks like a school. Not my school [smiles] S*******
T: Who is that?
C: My first crush [goes silent again]
T: Alright, now try going back to the lifetime where your need to be ambitious is rooted. Try to recall the memory that make you want everything so quickly
C: [raises his hand to signal me to hold on] Darkness [analysing the view]
T: Can you recognise this place?
C: I can’t feel my left leg [moving his neck side to side]
T: You are good. Don’t worry. Try to focus here on the scene. You need your answers, don’t you?
C: I can hear my granny. She is talking to my mother
T: hmmmm. How are you feeling?
C: [silence] A little probing indicates he is in his mother’s womb
T: What made you choose your mother in this lifetime?
C: [smiles] Mom is feeding me
T: What are you eating? Is it tasty?
C: [silence again]
[I decided to wrap up as the session seemed to be leading nowhere. One last try though!]
T: Why do you want everything so quickly?
C: [expression of fearful disturbance] Papa will leave me & go away. The time is too short [goes silent again. I ask him where; what has time to do with your tendency, etc. No response at all]
C: [mumbling] Dad says you are capable of achieving much more than you are doing now. I think he over expects from me? Will I ever be doing enough to make him happy? I must achieve something big as long as he is alive. [silence for another 3 mins.]
T: Shall we return to the garden?
C: hmmm {I guide him to return to the bench]
T: Do you want to call somebody?
C: Mom is here. She is caressing my hair.
T: It is time to come back. Are you ready?
C: [eyeballs moving. Signals me to wait for a minute]. Leave it! Let’s go!
[I emerge his as per the procedure]
C: [He woke up feeling heavy in his head] My shoulder pain is gone [excited] But I want to sleep. Don’t want to talk right now.
[I allowed him a 1-hour nap before starting the integration]

Session 4: 5:00 pm – 6:30 pm (17th February, 2023) Pain Level: 3

T: Is there something that you missed telling me during your last session? Something you saw/heard/felt but could not speak?
C: The boy was Devesh, my classmate. His face was not the same but that look in his eyes – it was him.
T: Anything special about him?
C: He never said anything to me but I always found him irritating for no specific reason.
T: Anything else?
C: When I was in my mother’s lap on the bench, I saw a few faces in flashes. But can’t recall who were they?
T: That’s alright. I hope you understand that we could have done much better if you cooperated with me? You seized to speak & therefore, I could not navigate you in the right flow. How do you feel about it?
C: I know! But I felt frozen! Just could not move my lips – not that I did not want to speak, but I just could not. But I am being honest here – I am feeling much better & lighter than the way I was before we started this. I told you my pain level has come down significantly!
T: What is your take-away from these sessions? How would you describe your experience to somebody since you only had flashes or partial visions?
C: See, if nothing else changed, at least I am not feeling lost anymore. My brain fog has cleared & I do have a clarity of thought. Now, I know how I am going to utilise my break time to change my lifestyle & be a more balanced person. I can’t feel the restlessness any more.
T: What changed that? Can you elaborate?
C: [staring down at the floor] I really love my mad, you know that right? I think it is high time for me to see myself from my eyes & not how he sees me or wants me to be? I think I refused to accept myself for who I was as an individual because that was not “good enough” in my dad’s opinion. This has to change now. I know I have been doing my best! And practically, that is all that I can do! Right?
T: Will you be able to pull that off? How will you deal with your father? Won’t he get upset?
C: Well, if I love him so dearly, he too loves me – I will try to discuss this with him as candidly as I can. I am a 28-year-old man who he thinks is fit to get married & settle down. In my understanding, I need to step aside from being a shadow to his imagery of me but I have to do that without making him feel bad.
T: That’s good! And what about your love interest? The girl you have not got over yet?
C: [looking away from me] She used me emotionally & financially even after breaking up with me. Then I saw her stabbing me from behind & enjoying my pain. I guess, instead of thinking “why” she did so; I should take my cue & condition my mind to accept that it is all in the past & nothing can change for good. [laughs sarcastically] New one can come in only if there is room for her, right?
[Honestly, I like this new version of him – who is talking about the lighter side of life]

As a PLR Therapist, how the sessions progressed, was a huge disappointment. But I am aware that I gave it my best as per my knowledge & experience (just started!). However, the most vital marker – the PAIN LEVEL came down from 10 to 3. Guess, this was all the healing he needed for now – being able to deal with his present life trauma & suffocation. His pain level has remained constant & not increased so far (as of today i.e. March 30, 2023). No way that I will call it a failure! The client is still searching for a job but is happy, focused & clear about what he wants. Not settling for less than what he rightly deserves.

Recommended journaling of his feelings & thoughts before bed time or whenever he feels overwhelmed. I also suggested to use the affirmation “I accept myself for who I am & I am grounded in my reality” whenever he felt that he was doubting himself.

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