Childhood Wounds Traveling into Adulthood Relationships

The Problem That Was At 2 Years becomes an Insecurity At 20" - @IG

Hello all! This is my very first official case, which was conducted in May’24. Initially, I was a bit hesitant to share it with them because I had labelled it as an not-so-successful regression(—my false ego—)because the client was only regressed till childhood, which counts as past, too, instead of a literal “past life” as such. Then, Neha Ma’am encouraged me to publish the case and also told me to not compare my journey with others. I’d be grateful if you can take some time to read the following short case and give me your feedback. Thanks!

1. Client Details
• Client Name (Changed for confidentiality): Pushpa
• Age: 25 +
• Gender: F
• Hypnotisability Score: 6
• VAK Score: 591
• Dominant Sense: Auditory
• Secondary Dominant Sense: Visual
• Eye Roll Test: 1
• Pain Level Before: 9
• Pain Level After: 5
• Theme: Anger towards childhood

2. History Taking
Background Information: The client is a close friend of mine in Bangalore, pursuing her PhD in Life Sciences. She informed me that as her laboratory requires her to work half days even on Saturdays, she is not in a position to spare me 2 full days. So I had to make the best in the 12 hours she gave me on 2 consecutive days.
Relevant Personal and Family History:
• Health & Habits: The client has been into social drinking and smoking as coping mechanisms in the past; she has been sober for the past 4 years. On the top of this, she has been found to have recurring kidney stones due to unresolved feelings of anger, and also by insufficient intake of water on a physical level.
• Personal Life: The client described a very difficult childhood: the father was emotionally absent, and the mother was always physically absent due to her busy job. More recently, she has ended a five-year relationship with her partner after his family refused to agree to the inter-religious marriage between them. It has been quite a devastating experience for her and has seriously taken a toll on her emotional and physical health.
• Background of Ex-Partner: He too had a not-so-pleasant childhood. Being the youngest, he is brought up by his mother and older sisters. He has also been shown to have avoidant attachment, in particular in his style of communication and in areas of isolation/depression and lack of independent thinking. He has not-so-good health habits, and he pursued multiple relationships/flings to cope up with certain abandonment issues.
Presenting Concerns and Themes: She felt that as a child and an adult, she was never loved. The client reflected on why such a pattern occurs in her life again and what her mistake might be. She felt betrayed by her ex-partner, who promised a future together but suddenly broke up without fighting for their relationship against his family. Indeed, in viewing her life history, unresolved issues during her childhood were appearing in her adult relationships. She has stored-up anger toward her mother and resentment towards her father, the same feelings inside towards her ex-partner.

3. Overview of Sessions
Session 1 (Day 1): May 25th, 3 PM - 8 PM
• Stages Covered: 1-8; briefly, Stage 9-10
• Key points:
○ History taking was emotionally overwhelming for the client; she was unable to relax during cognitive fatigue, despite listening to relaxing music. Briefly introduce Stages 9-10 to help relax before going home.

Session 2 (Day 2): May 26th, 2 PM - 7 PM
• Stage Covered: 6-12
• Key Insights:
○ Stage 6 & 8: In a brief revisit, the client made sense of how unresolved childhood issues were affecting her adult relationships. She chose to work on exploring anger towards her childhood which was reflecting in a lost adult relationship; hence, this was going to be the theme for her.
Stage 7: The patient, who said she never sleeps out of her house and had high anxiety, had fallen to sleep for 20 minutes when in cognitive fatigue listening to “End of Suffering” by Thich Nhat Hanh. She was surprised too.
Stage 9: IMR was taken. The pre-checklist was completed.
Stages 10-12 (3PM - 7PM): T: Therapist, C: Client, IMR: Right index for Yes, Left index for No
Induction: Dave-Elman and Progressive Relaxation
Visualization: Staircase, Garden
PLR: Affect bridge, IDT, Reframing

Explored 3 happy memories in the garden. Towards the end (last memory being from childhood time) - tears started flowing down - slow pace
T: Is there any painful memory coming up
C: Yes…
T: Take deep breaths, you can always float above and see the memory
C: …
T: Where could you be possibly feeling that pain
C: neck……throat
T: can we trace it back to where the pain is coming from, I am here with you
C: (showed right index finger (client was indicating responses by a mix of IMR + words))
T: Take a deep breath, let the pain go deeper and deeper…(2x,10x)
C:…
T: Keep taking deeper breaths, let this pain be a bridge which we can walk on, reach a place of its origin
C:….
T: it could be a scene from this lifetime or other
C:….
T: As I count from 10-1, allow yourself to hear the memory (had to change the cue because it struck me that she is primarily auditory, was not sure if it was right cue but I had to proceed)
C:….
T: 10…9….8…7……6……5………4…….3………2….1….
C: (crying increased a bit)
T: allow yourself to take deeper breaths, you can always float above and watch it
C:……
T: What are you aware of? Can you hear anything?
C: Its too noisy
T: Who is around you, can you see anyone…
C: Yes, me, in the same house
T: how old are you?
C: not more than 2 years
T: Ok…so what is little Pushpa wearing (name changed here, original name used in session)
C: frock, white
T: Very good, so pushpa, whats happening around, why is it noisy
C: crying, baby, me, crying loudly (client’s was giving answers in words, not a sentence)
T: Okay, why is little Pushpa crying…
C: Dirty, I am playing, no one to clean me…
T: (she gave few more words through which I understood that little Pushpa is with a soiled herself, it was messy all around, toys were there too, they became dirty)
C: hungry too, crying loudly…
T: Okay, where is little Pushpa’s mom?
C: She isnt here. No
T: Who else is around you
C: No one….someone downstairs. Loud tv
T: Okay….
C: there are relatives, they are busy
T: busy in what?
C: noisy, tv, shouting
T: ……(client is telling more, crying - managed through deep breaths) Is anyone trying to harm the baby, what is the little one doing then
C: No……searching for mom (tears flowing down)
T: are you aware where mom went?
C: office…not home…
T: why is this so painful
C: I was missing my mom, I wanted her, why she left (abreactions - managed through deep breaths)
T: I understand, its painful for the child to miss her mom
C: yes……
T: as you are watching little one, let all the tears out, don’t suppress anything,
C: (sobbing) (gave the client sometime)
T: can the 26 year old pushpa do a small favour to little pushpa…
C: (IMR - yes finger)
T: Go near her, hug her tightly, so tightly, tell her that mom will be back soon
C: …
T: are you able to hug her?
C: yes
T: tell her that everything is going to be alright, that this little girl will be doing wonders after 25 years……loving friendships, amazing degrees….surrounded by people who never make her feel alone…
C: ….
T: tell her that the little child needs mom, maybe her mom didn’t have enough time to afford to be with her kid, but mom will come home soon, keep hugging her…
C: was job more important than me?
T: No, maybe she didn’t have a choice
C: yes….she didn’t
T: (In history taking - client revealed that her mom was sole earner of the family, while her father had a job too, he didn’t take any financial responsibility, client was brought up by her aunts and uncles (mom’s siblings), hence the happy memories mostly revolved around her cousins)
C: (was taking deeper breaths)
T: take your time, keep hugging her, tell her that her mom so wished to be with the little one, but maybe she didn’t have a choice…had to go to work….
C: hmm….yes….but…
T: But…?
C: No. okay
(I was little confused)
T: what could mom have done differently?
C: time…
T: time…okay. Was she in a position to have time freedom?
C: No
T: okay…was she tightened from all sides?
C: hmm…yes…
T: okay….let the tears out, I understand how the little one must be feeling
C: ….
T: can you try to forgive her….maybe the little one can try forgiving her too, mom couldn’t afford time because she was busy in outside world, trying her best to earn livelihood
C:hmm….yes…she always gifted me many things, outings
T: maybe she is trying to compensate?
C: yes….(tears flow increased, suggested her to take deep breaths) but she didn’t realise
T: realise what?
C: I hated her gifts, time is what I needed
T: Okay, what can we do in present, to better the situation
C: accept her more…
(In history taking - client mentioned that - there were days when she intentionally skipped outings with her mom, as a revenge, esp in teenage. She also had to baby sit her little cousins during her teenage years. She felt like she was robbed off her freedom, by her mom)
T: Very good. Keep hugging the little one, tell her that mom will be home soon
C:……
T: once you are done, we will do one more favour to the little girl
C: (client’s crying decreased)…(raised her right index)
T: Maybe now….using all your essence, imaginative powers, suck out all the grief, tears from the little girl’s eyes…roll all of it into a dark ball
C: …… (took sometime here)
T: were you able to roll the ball…
C: yes…
T: Hold it with you. Hug the little one once again, and whenever you are ready, slowly let us walk back to the garden
C: ……
T: Let me know when you are back in garden
C:….
C: yes
T: to the left of you, there will be a tall mountain, very tall, and there is ocean down…
C: ….
T: let us walk to the top of the mountain with the dark ball, when you reach the edge, throw the heavy ball into the mighty ocean
C: yes…(crying decreased 90% by now)
T:you may just throw it, so hard…
C: ……okay.
(I decided to use the mountain setting to our advantage - Reframing. I asked her to visualize and frame each memory, placing the displeasing past events in the wooden box on the left side of the cliff and any future worries in the wooden box on the right. Once she had framed everything, I told her to let me know. Then, I guided her to throw the heavy wooden boxes by dropping them from the mountain top and watch them drift away in the ocean below)
T: Once you are done, let us walk you back to the garden, let me know when you reach and sit down there
C:….yes, reached
T: How are you feeling now
C: better
T: do you wish to proceed further
C: No. I am better now
T: (could sense the tiredness, hence emerged her out of trance)
(Took a break)

• Note: The client in this session goes back to her first painful childhood memory that gave her clarity on her intense feelings. She said that she did not feel the need to explore past lives as she believed the answers she sought were rooted in her childhood memories. She also got a brief clarity on a certain incident that happened in 5 years back which she didn’t want me to disclose while publishing the case, hence I am not writing about it in the report. Hence, I didn’t push her further for more sessions, against her interests.

Session 3 (Day 2): May 26th - 7:30 PM to 8:30 PM
• Covered Stages: Stage 13-15
Key Observations:
Stage 13: The client had always been confused about how her childhood was. She mentioned that at times of joy or celebration, the feelings that would arise were anger against the parents, and sometimes unnecessary aggressiveness could be felt. Re-evaluation of a specific memory helped clarify since when these feelings had started in her current life. We could also see this pattern in her adult relationships: she lacked love and time from mom, protection from father in childhood; hence, unconsciously she went after the man who gave her even a bit of those things she lacked in childhood, continuing being with him despite ill-treating her. When children do not get parental affection inside the house, they go looking for it outside and land in wrong places and people. Client identified her patterns; she also shared that her mother stood strong with her, especially during her break-up and at some other events which she wishes to not be disclosed in the report.
○ Stage 14: The emotional pain level of the client went down from 9 to 5, wherein she changed the emotional turmoil to clarity and the beginning of forgiveness. In working out the issue of closure, especially towards her mother, the client mentioned that she needs to take more time in achieving closure with her inner child as well as with her mother. I did not press her toward immediate forgiveness or closure, realizing that such processes cannot be hurried by any interventions of the therapist; they take time before the client can fully understand and digest.
○ Stage 15: I suggested practicing breathing techniques and pranayama that helped me relax, which could be helpful in her case. I also recommended performing tapping techniques on academic pressure and encouraged her to become light and forgiving towards both the inner child and mother. Suggested her to read through Louise Hay’s book - Heal Your Body, listen to Hanuman chalisa everyday for frequent hits of low energy and diseases

4. The Aftermath
Follow-Up: Within two weeks, the client was comfortable to go on outings with her mother; for her, that was a big change because she did not like spending time with her previously. That is a positive shift in her perspective, and this mental forgiveness has begun to appear in her physical reality
Reflections: While I was hungover the fact that I was not able to regress my client to her “pastlife” per se, than focusing on my learnings from the case, I remembered what we were told in the workshop: Law of attraction - that most often, we attract clients who are fighting similar battles like us. Often, regressing clients heals us more, makes one self-reflect, and I am no exception here. Thankful for the process :slight_smile:

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I found tbe session healing the cluent so much so that she had started going out with motger whom she avoided earlier. That is a very positive step. I strongly believe that the unconscious shows only what is necessary. If she heals by what she saw…it is the need of tge hour.

You have done a good job…every response is different but every response leads to some discernable positive manifestation. Keep going…

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As our beloved guru taught, the origin of the issues does not necessarily rooted in the past lives, it can be there somewhere in the childhood…Very well executed, Himani. Glad you helped her to take out her painful memories… Way to go!!

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Thank you so much Suranjana ji for the encouraging words. Yes, even I felt happy when she said she was quite comfortable to go out on outings with her mom now, given that in the past she intentionally cancelled few.

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Thank you so much for the positive words Kaushik ji! Yes, indeed, Venu sir teachings are :raised_hands::raised_hands::raised_hands:.

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Hi @Himani , first of all congratulations on your first successful case study…

This was indeed a super successful session… One of my client was also not able to go into past and when she was in peaceful state the master literally told her what is she doing there and scold her to go back…
Then in the subsequent session I guided the client to issues in this lifetime and bring out the trapped memory from there. After the session she felt very calm and peaceful…
Hence there is no need that the issue will always be in past life it could be in this life as well…

You handled the auditory client very well… the inner child healing was outstanding…

Just a suggestion here

Try to avoid saying okay… It seems like we are in hurry and not interested in what the client is currently saying… (I did the same mistake then Venu corrected me with this advice). Paraphrase the sentence in more empathetic manner…

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Thank you for the correction Harie; you are right, indeed; I will use better empathetic words from next time, need to work on this for my next client :slight_smile:
And credits to Venu Sir guidance on inner child healing, I remember him cuing us to hug the child self, during a group regression back in Aug 2023😇

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Very well carried session…healing in the relationship is already begin…this positive shift in relations and forgiveness from pushpa has started healing her inner self…
Keep going…

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Thank you for the encouraging Supritee!:heart::heart:

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