Dealing with the phobia of intimacy

Naina (Name changed) Female, 36 years old

Hypnosis score: 7/10

VAK: 5 5 5

Eye Roll: 2/4

Theme: Forgetfulness and finding the root of her autoimmune condition

Pain level: 9/10

Session 1: History taking

10:30- 1:00 pm

The whole of two day, all sessions were conducted online.

Naina is a very soft spoken and gentle person who had to face some very painful events in her life. She is the middle child in her family. Her father walked away from the hospital when he heard the news of a second girl child and held her only after a few months of birth.

She came to know about this from her mother. After three months of her birth, when they visited her mother’s side clan goddess temple, her father saw his daughter’s face in the goddess and immediately took her. Eventually, her paternal grandmother accepted her. And now, she says among the three siblings, she is the only one who is not afraid of her strict dad. She shares a close bond with her elder sister.

She is a very happy person from childhood, but used to feel sad that she doesn’t have her baby pictures taken, like the other kids in the family and extended family. While growing up, she did a lot of things to make her family happy, lived according to their wishes, yet felt misunderstood. From the age of 18, she has been suffering from an auto immune condition which led to Alopecia areata (loss of hair in patches). She would develop severe rashes on consuming allopathy medicines.

After a painful experience of being married to an abusive person and separation, she came back to her family. She had genophobia (fear of sexual intimacy) earlier, and during her marriage, she had to face mental abuse and sexual abuse. During her sessions, her sub conscious mind comes up with a lot of revelations and the inner voice came out loud and clear.

She started noticing that after coming back home, she would forget words and it impacted her daily life.

Theme finalized

Forgetfulness and auto immunity was the theme we decided on since the pain level was highest for these issues and the client wanted to address them first.

Some parts in the case study have been omitted as per client request (Autoimmune condition), hence included part where we explored the forgetfulness and root cause of genophobia.

Session 2

2:50 pm - 4:50 pm

Dave Elman, progressive relaxation, staircase, garden of peace (near a beach), tunnel of light

Regressed the client to happy childhood memories. One powerful memory was with her grandmother, going for a walk in the temple (walking together to the temple). She later told that she never actively thought about this and was surprised this came up as a happy memory.

Affect bridge with frustration of recollecting a word.

T: How does it feel when trying to recollect a word?

C: Felt like something is coming to you, lights are dancing and blockage

C: I feel helpless and sad when I try to recollect a word, my nose is itchy and scratchy

Note: There was a lot of blocking and after a few attempts of affect bridge, and the stream script, drawing blank from the client, I went ahead with a different approach, following my intuition, in the next session. I noticed that her coughs had subsided and took it as a good sign that her trance state was indeed deep, I will just have to try a different way to connect to her and for her subconscious to trust me as her therapist.

Session 3

5 pm-7 pm

Dave Elman and short progressive relaxation, in garden of peace I introduced a lot of nature, colours and its elements (as she said she felt at peace in nature)

I gave her different emotions as prompts and asked her to narrate whatever came to her mind on hearing the word. The different emotion prompts I gave were joy, excitement, contentment, acceptance, happiness, and I consciously stuck to happy emotion prompts here.

I was surprised to see that Naina was able to give detailed descriptions of the events, without stumbling for a word, her vocabulary was rich. I have presented a sample of one such emotion here. In my further prompts, I asked for minute details and she was able to answer everything in detail, including brand names, clothes they wore, a lot of visual details too, even though she was a K.

Joy

T: What comes to your awareness?

C: My oldest niece, my sister had come home for 40 days after she delivered a baby. After my sister would nurse, I would hold my niece for burping, she would keep shifting she would listen to my heartbeat and stay there it made me feel very happy. I have deep connection with both my nieces

T: What is the child draped in?

C: She is wrapped in cloth covering her head and hands green and White cloth

T: and what are you wearing? (She is a K, but I wanted to focus on memory and hence included visual prompts as well, and she was able to come up with vivid descriptions)

C: I am wearing a black t-shirt I would sing to her to put her to sleep I used to be sitting on the bed my sister would sleep on the bed

T: Spend a few moments integrating this feeling and tell me what else you are experiencing?

C: I feel a lot of love warm in my hands

T: Look at yourself and tell me what you are wearing?

(She is a K, but I wanted to focus on memory and hence included visual prompts as well, and she was able to come up with vivid descriptions)

C: I think I am wearing an orange T-shirt mostly in the night my sister would wake me up. I would put her on the bed there was a small mattress for kids with mosquito net, I would cover her with mosquito net and she would stay between her mom and me

T: Tell me what else you are able to remember here?

C: South Indian food delicious means idli sambar Medhu vada. My sister is very fond of south Indian food and mom would make different varieties when she visits.

T: Hmmmm,

C: I am remembering moments from my girl, they love unconditionally without expectation it doesn’t matter how you look for kids, it doesn’t matter

C: Extended family treat you differently with the way you look, kids have a pure heart, looks don’t matter

T: Spend a few moments appreciating and revelling in the bond you share with your kids (She refers to her nieces as her kids) and when you are ready to move ahead, you can let me know.

Acceptance

C: I can only think of my kids. In my home there is love but everyone has complaints with me that I question a lot, they get irritated. These two are the one who have accepted me the way I am. I only do things for their happiness

T: You are smiling, tell me what is happening?

C: They love troubling me I am ticklish, pushing away

T: Where are you?

C: I am in this room this time we watch movies together, we play games, recent movie nice movie (mentioned the name but not audible)

I remember cooking for her I made pasta for both I fed her pasta. She loves white sauce pasta when I cook it.

T: Which brand of pasta did you make for them?

C: Blue Bird penny pasta brand and I cook momos.

T: Take a few moments to anchor in this feeling of being accepted for who you are by your dear ones.

Session 4

10 am-1 pm

The client said she had a good sleep and the pain in her hands had vanished, she had been feeling it for a week.

Dave Elman, progressive relaxation, staircase, garden of peace (near a beach), tunnel of light

T: As I count from 3 to 1, go to the time of your birth in this life

C: I feel strength maybe a hospital

T: Do you sense anyone’s presence?

C: my mom the nurse

T: What are you experiencing?

C: I feel distress from mother left alone in the hospital, she had a difficult delivery

On further questions, I did not receive any answers, so proceeded to in utero memory.

T: Take a moment and tell me whatever comes to your awareness

C: Mom feels discomfort
Felt in abdomen
For a brief moment, I felt sadness of mom
feeling anger from dad when things don’t happen according to him that way, he feels that way

T: As I count from 3 to 1, you can go to the time of your birth

C: Doctors informed that it is a girl

He (dad) simply left I feel sad and alone

T: Hmmm, As I count from 10 to 1, allow your mind to show you a past life in which you had these feelings of sadness, and loneliness.

C: Concrete ground standing outside a crane

(Restroom break)

T: What comes to your awareness, breathe in deeply and let it come to you.

C: Standing on brown soil can’t feel anything

farming I am 37 I feel like a man, white clothes, boots

T: Is it your farm?

C: Not sure maybe

T: Go to your dinner time and tell me what you are eating?

C: Rice and dal, feels like a big house sitting at a dining table

T: Who cooked

C: a cook or servant cooked for me

T: Who else is in your family?

C: Feels like a mother….no I live alone

T: Go to a significant event five years back, as I count from 3 to 1…

Blank …goes back to farm

C: I take control of village and people

T: Which country is this?

C: it is India, village

T: How old are you?

C: I am in Mid 40s I live alone I don’t have anyone in my life

I own a piece of land not much 2 to 3

they trust me

T: Hmmmm, As I count from 3 to 1, you can walk into your childhood

I can’t feel anything

(waiting for a few minutes, repeating the prompt)

Peaceful 11 years

my mother can’t ID

T: That is alright. Go to the next significant event in childhood 3… 2…1

C: Feels like I lost my mother and left alone

T: How old are you?

C: I am 20 years old

T: What are you studying?

C: maths I feel nervous energy

T: Where is it you feel this?

C: in my heart restless. below the throat heaviness. I live alone

T: This experience is in another lifetime. It is not the present life. Breathe in deeply, you are safe exploring this memory.

Further questions, and other key moments drew a blank, hence proceeded to time of death.

T: Move ahead to just before your death in that lifetime.

Natural death 50 to 60 no one is near me

What could be the learning of that lifetime maybe it is the loneliness

T: What is your last thought?

C: feeling you can’t live alone you need people

T: Move on through your death. Take a few moments and feel if there is any presence near you. Take your time

C: Can’t feel any presence

T: That is alright, take rest and allow your mind to integrate all that you learned in that lifetime. We are never alone, we can always reach 0ut for love and companionship.

Session 5

Since the client had been having genophobia from a young age, I was concerned if there will be more blocks for a direct prompt. Hence, I asked her to focus on her lower abdomen and used a staircase countdown to deepen, after induction. If there was a memory connected to this, her body would remember.

Dave Elman induction, garden of peace, staircase (deepening) descending 10 to 1 focussing on the lower abdomen

T: Feel your hands, feel your feet, as you breathe in deeply, allow the memories to come to you….

C: cave …darkness and pain in upper left thigh, pain in my abdomen

headache

maybe this is a jungle, a forest

T: Breathing in deeply, know that you are safe to explore this memory from a past lifetime. Feel your feet and tell me what you experience?

C: I was a woman feels like a saree lehenga style little above ankle wearing a Payal

T: Feel the place around you

C: Feels like a Jungle near the village very simple living feels like a small house

T: Who all are there with you?

C: Can’t sense anyone

C: There is someone in the family I live with my brother

T: Do you feel any resemblance to the present life?

C: Not sure

T: What is the emotion that you feel for him?

C: Love…. simple life village far away from village near a forest

T: What does your brother do for a living?

C: he cuts wood

T: What do you eat?

C: Fresh fruits and vegetables pop up

T: As I count from 3 to 1 let us go back further to a time when you are happy, when you are safe.

C: Felt like there was a big house

I lived in a big house

Parents brother me and servants

T: How old are you?

C: I am two or three years old I am wearing a frock

T: What is the language that you speak in?

C: Hindi

T: Who takes care of you?

C: Older brother he is much older than me

C: I feel safe I think he is my sister in current life

T: Hmmm, I see…. As I count from 3 to 1, go to the next key moment

C: Felt like staying near forest hiding from people, I am having a lot of headache

T: You are safe, we are just exploring a memory from the past. Take in deep breaths, we will stay here for a few moments to calm yourself. Take your time…Relax your forehead, remember the healing golden light is with you, protecting you…

T: When you are ready, you can drift to the next key moment in that lifetime.

C: My brother is hiding me from people, we should not explore this further

something bad happens, three men…. I am not ready to explore this I feel fear, they take me to a cave they keep me trapped over there (lot of resistance to go further, so I am not pushing the client)

T: As I count from 3 to 1, allow yourself to drift to the next significant event

C: I feel like I am again in a big house

Someone bought me into this

T: Whose house is this? What are you experiencing?

C: I feel trapped. person liked me I don’t like him back

I feel that is…. I feel that is my ex-husband

T: Hmm, what else is happening around you?

Felt like a struggle trying to run away

He keeps me locked up

T: where is your brother?

C: My brother searches for me but he can’t find me

T: How does the life feel like? What is the year?

C: It feels like India year 1800 popped in my mind

C: When it is night there is a different sound, I can hear that in my left ear, there is an ache in my vagina something bad happens

T: Hmmm, breathe in deeply, relax your forehead, relax your shoulders

T: As I count from 3 to 1, go to the time of death in that lifetime

C: Felt like relief

T: Looking back in that lifetime, how was your life?

C: It was a mix of both, happiness carefreeness, helplessness, feeling caged, trapped

T: What is it that you carry to this life?

C: I carry this fear of being caged

T: Hmmmm, what is the lesson your learnt in that lifetime?

C: Learning carefreeness

T: This experience is another lifetime; it does not belong to the present life and does not need to affect it. You will come back into a current state of consciousness knowing that you are not in anyone’s control, you do not have to carry this feeling of being caged. You will be able to separate from this feeling. As you come back into this lifetime, you will be joyous, and carefree, and explore possibilities to grow in your life.

I emerged her after this.

Closure:

We discussed both the lifetimes the client experienced and the lessons learnt. what could be the remnant feelings she could be carrying over to this lifetime, the feeling of being alone, and caged.

I felt that since I am a beginner and it was an online session, I could have connected much better in a direct session. When the client drew a blank, and had headaches and was blocking, direct session would have calmed her better and I would have more control as a therapist.

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well done my blessed @Divyaraghuram

Needs to be distilled further to be a Theme.

splendid!

A lesson for all of us never do it and let our clients and circle as well to respect and accept the girl child.

brilliant! A bitter pill for most to swallow but this why we come here, to work out our karma with others and learn the lesson.

there was an opportunity for KMF2C here. please read “Why Me” to hone up your skills on I and T of IDT.

proud of you.

well done…

this again is counter productive as PLR Therapist as being able to diffuse this trapped energy can bring about a healing of a lifetime for her. Instead of pushing, here, we could have enhanced disassociation and nudged the sub-personality to experience it in all its horror with ofcouse the stress management to ensure catharsis. You can have done a KMF2C to address this emotion actually instead of this…

which is why discourse online sessions if the goal is max therapeutic impact :slight_smile:

All in all, you just need to keep the above points in mind Dr Divya and you are already a PRO!

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