“ I have been molested in childhood by different family members repeatedly …(pause) I hate to call them family…. I started hating myself, my own body, its like my own body is eating me up, for having gone through all this” This came from a young mother of two who had taken up spiritual practices to get rid of this childhood trauma. Even though she got a lot of inner strength after meeting her husband and after all these spiritual practices, still the irritation she had, had become like inbuilt in her and she desperately wanted a session to find out the reason why she was put to such traumatic situations in the age when she should have been playing outside with friends, the so called best period of everyone’s life.
A lot of people talk on woman empowerment and as women we all would have thought why women needs empowerment, they are so empowered. At times I have also debated that men and women are equal and stuff, but what I heard from this client actually shook me. The same man in the family has not only been molesting her, her sister, her cousins but has many times molested her mother too and none of them could raise their voice against him. No this is not a 40 years back story, it’s what my client went through recently, anyway coming back to her, as therapists we are taught not to react, that’s what I did and we went ahead with the history taking. We took only this pain as the main theme of the session and we started the session. The first session was only to relax my client and since her childhood was pathetic, had to do Inner Child Healing and after that she felt really relieved. But she wanted intensely to know the reason why she had to undergo so much pain in that young age. So the next session started and it was a total eye opener.
Th : What comes to your awareness
Cl : Feel like I am riding a vehicle
Th : Look at your legs what are you wearing
Cl : Looks like shoes….red colour dress….i am a boy……dress is tied at my back.
Th : How old are you
Cl : Looks like I am 17….i am riding a vehicle…Am an English man….am wearing red colour dress……looks like a play vehicle am pushing with my feet….i think I have a child in my hand….i am not sure…am throwing the baby and playing….the baby looks like 6 months to one year……there is a wall in my right side,I am holding the wall and walking….
Am I imagining….
This is the question most of my clients ask……
Th : Its ok keep witnessing it absolutely fine if you feel you are imagining don’t analyze keep sharing whatever comes to your awareness…….
Cl : Looks like I am going inside the conference hall….am going very fast,….people are assembled there…I am talking something…people are also wearing dresses like foreign government dress…its kind of a palace….they are calling me General……my name is Mark……they are talking something about India, I think something against… they are planning against India……I belong to England….the year is 57th century….I am getting restless am throwing something out of anger….
Some planning is going on about some war…am instructing them…They have sent me to India….I am wearing a red dress….shoulders decorated….white color pant….black cap….just running out of the hall….there is a balcony many people are waiting for my command….i wanted to finish India off….asking them to proceed….they are having guns and are targeting to shoot….
There is a forest…people are taking guns and are shooting…there is a lady wearing sari no blouse….she is wearing a hair bun….its India…the lady is having a small kid…she is running with the baby….
She is running away from me……i think my intention is to harass her……she is running and I am troubling her……
Th : Look into her eyes. Do you recognize her?
Cl : i am remembering my aunty, my dad’s sister in this life…she is not alive now….she is pleading not to trouble…I am pulling her saree…She looks beautiful. But why am I doing this (the client starts crying seeing herself doing such unimaginable things).I just removed her sari… (The sobs turn into wails and screams)
Th : Keep witnessing from above….you are just witnessing….what happened…keep sharing.
Cl : .I think I threw the baby….the baby died….I killed her….I am misbehaving with her……beating her in the cheek am pressing her neck……I am done……Have raped her…am now throwing the saree on her and am saying something …. U Indians deserve this….
(She was so tired after witnessing this that she wanted me to take her away from that dreadful moment….so took her to the moment when she left her body)
Cl : I died in the war……i was very young 40…an arrow hit me….in my heart……I am seeing my body……
Feel very much guilty for what I did….I shouldn’t have done such a thing….feel shameful….I should do something for India……feeling very shameful……I regret my actions……I feel like asking sorry to that lady….that kid which I threw….I wish I can say sorry……
(She was guided such that she could seek apology from the lady and her kid and she did with full repentance)
Th : Keep sharing whats happening.
Cl: The lady is blessing me…I kneel down on her feet……she is caressing my head…I kissed the kid……
I take a vow that I want to be born in India….I want to start my spiritual journey……i am with them….they are so kind….she is my aunt….he is my aunts son in this life
I am seeing my body…I chose to go through such molestations. I needed it to understand the pain. Can see some angel with a child….looks like mary……mother mary….she has a mukut in her head……she is calling someone a child is going near her and holding her hand….she is going inside forest….going inside light….I think it’s my aunt she went into light and blessed me…I feel completely relieved….
I am in space…i think I will never be harassed again…angel is there who looks life my father, he is blessing me……
thank you so much, I feel as if you have removed a huge rock which I was carrying till now….thank you…
I was totally speechless as I had no words whatsoever to say. Only thing that comes to mind is Whatever happens to us is the best that can ever happen just accept and keep loving and doing good, if you want good to happen .
