Reshma, F, 38+, 5/10, 2/5, V & A, Health Issues, 10/10
Reshma, (name changed) a home maker and lady in her late 30s, lives with husband, two kids and in-laws. Daughter is about 12 years and son about 8 years old. She is happy with her married life. Financially, the family is well off. For six months she has developed a unique health issue and has been visiting gynecologists and dermatologists from reputed hospitals with no proper resolution to the issue. She develops cuts in the genital area and boils with pus on her thighs. The doctors have been giving her creams, powders, pain killers and anti-biotics, which give her temporary relief, and then it comes back with vengeance. The pain is so severe that she feels like cutting her genitals. She heard about PLRT from a friend (who had undergone a session before) and decided to try this as a last resort. The key point which came out during the history taking is the stress in the relationship with her daughter. Though both of them love each other there are times when she feels her daughter does not respond to the love and affection showered by Reshma.
After relaxing Reshma, I asked her to reach out to the root from which this pain originates. Below are the details of the session. The therapist part of the conversation is mentioned against ‘T’ and the client’s response is given against ‘C’. The details below can be disturbing, readers discretion is advised .
T: What is coming to your awareness?
C: I am seeing my feet with mehendi which dancers wear…paarani
(We googled later for the meaning of the term ‘Parani’ – it is a Telugu word for Turmeric mixed with limestone ‘chunam’ smeared by women on their feet at a wedding)
T: Look at yourself. What are you male / female?
C: Female
T: How old are you?
C: In twenties.
T: What is happening?
C: Sitting at home…
T: How is your home?
C: Big…just taking out water from the well…well is in the center of the house.
T: Who else is there in the house?
C: My husband.
T: Do you recognize him in the present life?
C: No, don’t recognize him.
T: What is your name?
C: I am hearing something like Tarangi. (Tarangini is the name in Telugu which means – woman who is like a wave)
T: Which country is this?
Silence.
T: What are you wearing?
C: Some kind of saree…South India.
T: Anything significant happening there?
C: I have two kids…both of same age.
T: Boys or girls?
C: Boys…twins.
T: How old are they?
C: 8 years.
T: What else is happening?
C: I have one more kid…daughter.
T: How old?
C: 10-11 years.
T: Look into the eyes of the children. Do you recognize them in this life?
C: One…son is my niece; daughter is my daughter in this life…don’t know the other one.
T: Go forward to significant event in that lifetime.
C: My husband…is scolding me
T: What for?
C: Because I gave birth to a female child…
T: Look at your husband…do you recognize him?
C: No.
T: Go forward to the event.
C: Most of the time slaps me…beats me near cheeks / ears…very hard…he forces himself on me…even when I say ‘no’… (long pause)
T: What is happening?
C: (Looking very much in pain) He is closing my mouth…he is having…something in his hand and touching the genital parts and giving some kind of pain…he is pricking…cutting with something sharp like…I think it is iron kind of thing which we use for loosening mud for plants…I cannot see properly, but it is very hard.
T: What makes him do this?
C: I say ‘no’, he says…he will insert inside and just punishes me…he gives small cuts on my thighs for his fun…with hands he scratches hard on the thighs…whenever he feels he wants, he should have…so he feels a lady is just to sleep with the male person…that is why he does not like me or my daughter…
T: What are you feeling?
C: I feel I should have been very strong to fight with him or die.
T: Go forward and see what happens.
C: Every time after the…he just kicks with his legs my genital area…and he laughs loudly and enjoys my pain just kicking…he will be doing this for long time and my genital area is in lot of pain…it is in very bad condition…I feel to cut off and throw away my genitals…everyday work should be done…when he comes home…I should serve him…give respect…everything I should do…whenever he feels…he does not see the place…he forces himself on me…if I say no again…the same thing starts…in bed room…kitchen…everywhere…kids are not there…both sons go to learn Vedas…daughter learns classical dance…I am also a classical dancer (there is a smile on her face).
‘I feel to cut off and throw away my genitals’, this was the same sentence Reshma had used during the history taking to describe her level of pain.
T: Which place is this?
C: Very…kings were there at that time…place…who rule…
T: What dress does your husband wear?
C: Kind of silky clothes with dhoti…sons having small tail behind their heads…husband is not having.
T: Do you recognize your husband?
C: No.
T: Go forward to significant event.
C: My husband also always scolds my daughter…but one son is always supportive.
T: Which son?
C: The one who is my niece in this life…he and my daughter are very close…my husband always uses bad words and ill-treats my daughter…my son supports her after my husband goes out…in front of him, son is scared.
T: What else is happening?
C: He forces himself on my backside…every time this happens blood will keep flowing…I can’t sit…I can’t sleep…
T: Go forward to significant event in that lifetime.
C: My daughter dies.
T: What happened to her?
C: She fell in the well and died.
T: Does she slip or…?
C: She herself fell in the well.
T: What made her do it?
C: Because my husband always hates her…he will be scolding her…ill-treating her…and he says, only males can be…I mean…he is kind of person full of male ego…old mentality.
T: How old is your daughter when she dies?
C: 14-15
T: What happens after this? How are you feeling?
C: I feel when…I just cried a lot and lot…I just love my daughter a lot…but because of my husband, I just lost her…I used to have great bonding, my kids and me…we had great bonding.
T: What happens after this?
C: I told my sons to take care…be strong…I left home.
T: Where did you go?
C: Near a river…just died…
T: How did you die?
C: Fell into the river. I wanted to get rid of this life…
T: What are the emotions as you die?
C: Don’t want to be female who suffers all the time…husband is not good…lost my daughter…I was unable to bear the pain…I don’t know…I just felt…I left everything and went.
T: How did you die?
C: I just went inside the river…walked inside.
T: Did you know to swim?
C: No.
T: See what happens to you.
C: I flowed with the river to other places…I don’t know where I went.
T: What happens to your sons?
C: One son (niece in this life) grew up, started teaching, helping other kids with learning…other son used to do something like taking care of grains, delivery, storage…from farmers to king’s treasury.
T: Are both doing well?
C: Yes.
T: What are the emotions that you carry forward from that life?
C: Sometimes I feel being a male birth is the best birth…because they don’t have any questions to answer, nobody questions them…everything whatever they do will be the right thing…they are the head of family…the kind of pampering and love what female needs they should give…they might be earning or doing something…if the female goes to earn they feel why should they…when I hear or see something kind of holding or ill-treating female by others, I feel very uncomfortable…what kind of life will be there for them…I feel every female should be strong, should be educated, shouldn’t depend on anybody and should stand for themselves. This happens when they are able to earn something or support themselves. In the olden days ladies were not the ones to go and work…they used to see the home needs, farming, but earning was by males, they used to travel, because it was like that…don’t know what to say…whenever I see my daughter shouting at me (in this life), I feel very bad then…I used to support her a lot at that time (that life), even now I am giving her support and love, I used to care, now she does like this to me. I just want everybody to give love and affection, take care of her…. Sometimes, I get very scared whenever something goes wrong, I feel very scared at this age when she gets emotional, don’t want anything to go wrong. I don’t know I also committed something (suicide) with this mindset.
T: Go forward and see if you had any other life with your daughter.
C: Yes. She is my daughter again.
T: What is her name?
C: Sita.
T: How was your relationship with her in that life?
C: I had beautiful relationship with her in that life. Everything is great in that life, beautiful kids, husband, in-laws. (She looked happy and at peace as she said this)
T: Do you recognize your husband?
C: He is my husband in this life too. (looked very excited)
T: Did he take good care of you and your daughter in that life?
C: Yes. Everybody was happy.
T: You have a good husband in this life too, are you willing to let go of the emotions and pain from that life?
C: Yes.
T: Float above and let go…what are you seeing.
C: Stars.
T: Who are these stars?
C: They are all beautiful souls with energy.
T: Are these the same stars that you see from earth?
C: No…these are golden. We see silver from earth…they are other souls.
T: What do you want to do?
C: Seeing light.
T: Heal yourself there.
The session was quite intense for both of us. She said, she experienced the same pain during the session which she experiences today. She mentioned that her daughter in this life argues a lot, and this is disturbing her. She is worried for her and wants her to have a good life. She said it would take some time for her to digest what she had experienced, and we decided to connect back for another session as there were lot of questions still pending. The key one – was her daughter so weak that just because her father scolded her, she killed herself or was there something more to it. Would this session be good enough to heal Reshma or would she need another one.
Few months later. Reshma mentioned that the pain went off for few days after the session but is back again and said she feels that there is something more she needs to let go off. Four months later we had another session.
T: Go to the root cause due to which you have pains near the genital area.
C: Nothing.
I did not get any response with this question after multiple attempts and decided to go back to that life where Reshma had killed herself by falling into the river.
T: Go to the life where your present-day daughter was also your daughter in earlier life.
C: I am there.
T: What is happening? Who is there?
C: Sita.
She had gone back to the happy lifetime. I again re-directed her to the painful life.
T: Go back to another life, where she had killed herself. Are you there?
C: Yes.
T: What is the reason she killed herself?
C: Discrimination between girls and boys.
T: Is there any other reason? Is someone ill-treating her?
Silence.
T: See real issue, become aware of it…3…2…1
Silence.
T: Does someone do something to her?
C: No.
T: Go back few days to see if anything is happening with her.
C: What I felt is, one day some rich man comes home…I was not aware at that time, but now I am seeing it…he gave lot of money to my husband…and he told to give my daughter to him…and take her away to some other place…
T: For marriage?
C: I think for marriage only…my husband was happy seeing that money, everything…
T: What about your daughter?
C: One day he tells that…even she didn’t tell me anything…but he is telling her that he doesn’t like her so he wanted to get rid of her…so at least this is the better chance, so you can give a good life to your brothers, mother, everybody, so you get married to him…and she was thinking the same thing and did not discuss anything with me…otherwise, I would have really helped her…don’t know why she took that decision…
T: Is there any other reason?
C: No.
T: Now you know the real reason…you now have her back as your daughter with a good husband…do you still need to carry this emotion and pain?
C: No.
T: What do you need to let go of the emotion…where are you?
C: I see light. I want to be here.
T: Allow yourself to heal and let go of the emotion. Let me know when you are ready to be back.
T: Go back to the time she was your daughter as Sita and see if there is anything that you carry with regard to the pain you are experiencing.
C: Married…she got married.
T: Is she happy?
C: She is happy, she started Vedic school…
T: Are you happy?
C: Yes.
T: Are you and your husband happy?
C: Yes.
T: Is there anything from that life which is causing your pain?
C: No.
After she spent some time healing herself in the bright white light and forgiving self, the husband and daughter. She sat down to discuss this. There was a sense of completion to the first session. She no longer felt guilty for her daughter’s suicide and having seen another good life with her, she felt a sense of relief.
Reshma called few weeks later to confirm that the pain is gone, and the pus-filled boils have also stopped. I pray that this relief for her is for good. It is now in her hand on how to handle these emotions the next time she has disagreements with her daughter. These two sessions also were an eye opener for me, as I too have a 13-year-old daughter and end up with angry outburst at times. It also highlighted the importance for the girls to be well educated, so that they can stand up for themselves in the future when the need arises.
Women play an important role in all our lives - as mother, teacher, sister, wife, daughter, friend, colleague etc. The sessions with Reshma high-light the importance of girls being provided with good education and values, and also ensuring we bring them up strong to face and overcome the challenges the world would throw at them. At the same time, it is also important to bring up the sons with good value system so that they give the respect women in their lives deserve.
women,