Guilt of being inadequate parent

Dear family, please accept this as my first (still learning) case. Will apricate your time and patience for reading. Do share your feedback which will help me improving. :pray:

DAY-1

Date: 27th October 23, Friday 2.30pm – 7.45pm

Venue: Client’s residence as she was more comfortable. Also, we agreed as per her age and health issues.

Stage 1 (Therapist introduction):
As the couple knows me personally, however, I did explain about the new learning of PLRT, and five-day classroom sessions and I experiences during the workshop.

Stage 2 (Observe the non-verbal actions):
Sometimes, while taking she gets lost in her own words, and said – “did I said that?”. Hand movements are often – like rolling thumbs against each other. Appearance is dull, lost, and dry eyes.

Stage 3 (contract) :
After briefing the couple and explaining the contract, we decided to start the session.

Stage 4 (Client Assessment) :
Hypnotizable score: 8 /10
Assessment of Dominant sense: Kinesthetic: 2, Auditory: 10, Visual: 3
Eye roll test: 1

Stage 5 (History taking):
Name: Mrs. Singh
Gender: Female
Age: 62YO

Born in a Maharashtrian family in Mumbai. She is the youngest child among three siblings. As per her, the mother never knew that she was pregnant with her until she went into labor pain. Had a carefree childhood without any restrictions. She was always rebellious, ready to bout to which one of her maternal uncles suggest that she should pursue studying law and that’s how she became a lawyer.

Through known family friends, her marriage was arranged with Mr. Singh. He is few years elder to her. After wedding they moved to Dehradun, and she continued to practice law. She was the first lady assigned by Central Beaure of Investigation (CBI) as representing all cases in Uttarakhand.

Mr. Singh (husband) has always been caring and supporting, he also assisted her professionally.

They have three beautiful children – two girls and one boy. The son being youngest was pampered more. All three of them were provided with best of education in city.

The eldest daughter is a Teacher in Private School, the second daughter pursued Hotel Management and the son is Captain with Merchant Navy.

(Doesn’t this all sounds like a simple happy family, but now the heartbreak starts!)

About the eldest daughter –

During her last year of graduation (a month before final exams) she went absconding. Being reputable family and well connected with local authorities they found out that the girl has married a local boy and is pregnant too. Now hiding because of fear. While the family was able to contact them, they promised to give their blessing.

Both parents were devastated, but they managed to arrange a wedding that was legal (only to escape small-town gossip).

Within few weeks of the wedding, the family shifted to Mumbai reason being – further studies for other two children and extended family support (this was already planned as they originated from Mumbai itself).

About second daughter –

She obtained a job in a prestigious five-star hotel in Mumbai after completing her Hotel Management degree.

After dinner one night, the girl insisted both parents to have warm milk before going to bed. They agreed, and when they awoke the next day, they realized it was too late 11 a.m. (their pattern is to get-up by 4a.m., practice yoga, got for a morning walk, do puja and so on.)

As they regained consciousness, they realized that the house was somewhat disturbed– the wardrobe was open and empty, gold jewelry, cash (which had been held for son’s fee’s) , cheque book, ATM card, everything was taken. The landline phone cord was cut, even the contact diary went missing (so they couldn’t reach anyone). It looked like the house was robbed.

The couple stating looking out for their daughter and could not find her. They inquired with neighbors, and one of the building security guards said he saw her last night with few suitcases. (Did you get it ! – the daughter stole everything and fled).

Few days later they got to know that the daughter was inspired and supported by the older one to do this. She got married to not-Hindu man. After discovering all this, Mr. Singh (the husband) suffered a heart attack and his left side of the body became partially paralyzed, affecting his speech it date.

About youngest son –

He is now their only ray of hope. As a mother, she wanted him to marry so that they would have support while he was away (on ship).

Knowing the family history, the son assured his mother that whoever he married would totally of her decision.

They kept seeking for prospects until one of his friends came home (three years ago, from now) and said, “Your son is getting married tomorrow.” I can take you to court if you want."

Once again shock of life!

They had no idea who she was until her son brought her home. Things gradually deteriorated, and the newlywed couple frequently fought with their parents. He requested that the property be transferred to his name. The girl kept telling everyone that they had hit her because she couldn’t afford a dowry. Once, the son attacked his mother with a knife.

They managed to survive this drama by pleading with the son to let them be alone and move out with his wife. Finally, it happened, and the husband and wife are now living alone.

Other information –

Mrs. Singh has always been fearful of doctors, injections (just like a little girl) , unfortunately, she is also the one visiting hospital often. There are incidents that, while walking she is trips/ falls suddenly and gets hurt.

One of the unforgotten incidents during her stay in Dehradun (in her thirties), she was drying clothes on terrace, out of nowhere, she slipped with a copper metal bucket and tumbled down the stairs. One of her earlobes got stuck in the bucket handles edge and the ear was torn apart.

With many stiches she had her ear back in place. Since then, she limps a bit at one side, still fears doctors yet is bold in outside world.

Client’s guilt:
Why did any of three never spoke with us before taking such big footstep in life. We could have at least discussed and do best from our side. Am I not a good parent?

Stage 6 (Break):
While having a cup of tea together, I did deviate the topic speaking about day-to-day activity. A new restaurant which was opened nearby.

Stage 8 (setting the theme):

Pain level: 10/ 10

Theme: Depression – reason being abandoned by children. Guilt of being inadequate parent.

DAY-2

Date: 28th October 23, Saturday 3pm – 7pm
Venue: Client’s residence

Stage 9 (Checklist):

IMR was explained. Educated to feel free to do whatever she wants to do during the session (cry, laugh or moving body parts).

To ease out the body muscles, suggested to perform light body stretching – neck, shoulder, hip, ankle rotation (just like @Neha made us do).

The curtains in the room were drawn. Played relaxation video of “the great bell chant”. I also played the music in background throughout sessions (shared by @venu).

As per client’s comfort – sessions were done in Hindi language. Thus took time to transcript in English

Stage 10 (Induction):

After she was comfortable on the bed (suggested to lie down), we began with a prayer, Dave-Elman technique followed by Progressive relaxation.

Abbreviation:
T: This is what the therapist said.
C: This is what the client said.

Stage 11 (Visualization):

I initially took her to garden wherein she could not go further.

T: Look around, are you able to notice anything?

C: Theres too much of darkness, it all black…

T: Do not stress, take a deep breath, relaaax… as I count till three, try moving forward towards darkness… 3…2…1.

C: (After few minutes), there’s something shining.

T: Good. can you move towards that shine.

C: A golden frame. I can see a golden frame.

T: Is there a picture in that frame? ( I thought she’s referring to their family picture wherein all three children were small – a frame placed in their drawing room).

C: Shiv… its shiv ! (lord shiva) .

T: What else is there?

C: Only Shiv photo, nothing else.

T: With the help of Shivji, can we move further (I said we, to refer as togetherness and not making her feel alone).

C: I do not see anything else, it’s all dark again. Am not feeling good (Her closed eyelids were also fluttering, like if she was looking for something).

T: Its okay, you are safe… take deep breaths, relax…

C: It’s too dark…

T: Okay, if you wish we could stop here, what would you prefer (didn’t wanted to stress her more, and honestly i too got lost on how to move further)

C: Yes.

T: Okay, as I count till five, slowly bring your attention back to the garden… 5…4…3…2…1 keep breathing… good…and now on my count of ten… slowly, you may bring your conscious together and whenever you’re comfortable you may open your eyes… 10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5…4…3…2…1.

After session (Once she opened her eyes) -

She said she left that someone had caged her in a dark room… her feet were stiff and could not move.

I left I should not discuss more about this topic, so we had a cup of eta together, talked about here and there and left the topic.

Around 10pm (same day), she called me saying am feeling very light and relaxed :blush: and then we decided to go for another session.

DAY-3

Date: 29th October 23, Sunday 2.45pm – 6.50pm
Venue: Client’s residence
Stage 10 (Induction):

To start with, suggested to perform light body stretching – neck, shoulder, hip, ankle.

Room curtains were drawn, we also watched relaxation video of “the great bell chant” (as shared by @venu)

After she was comfortable on the bed, we began with a prayer, Dave-Elman technique followed by Progressive relaxation.

Stage 11 (Visualization): Happy memories

T: This time, making her more comfortable, gave the lead and said, feel your surroundings, which could be anything… a garden with greenery and fresh flowers… or it could also be a beach with fresh air… (after a long pause) … is there something around …

C: Am at a beach… Juhu beach…

T: lovely, what are you doing at beach…

C: My brother brought me here… we often come here… (by this time, I understood, she’s remembering childhood days).

T: So, is your brother with you?

C: No am alone.

T: Okay, how old are you?

C: Fifteen…!

T: That’s lovely, would you like to spend some time being alone on beach?

C: Yes.

T: Great… See around and make your self comfortable sitting on sand… look at the waves… feel the relaxation with each wave… enjoy this “me” time…

(After few minutes…)

T: Let me know whenever you’re comfortable, we can move to another significant event.

C: Am ready to move ahead.

Stage 12 (Regression):

T: Good… let us move ahead from beach and move towards a sea cliff, its okay… you may take your time and walk slowly towards the cliff. Please let me know once you have reached there.

C: (After some time), am there!

T: Good, imagine … two boxes being there one of them is a big box and another smaller.

Now, think of all your past worries, pain, sorrows and start placing them one by one in the big box. Take your time, slow down and remember this is just imaginary….

T: (After giving her some time), once you have filled the box, look at the smaller box which is empty… now slowly, one by one, think about your future worries, if you have them place them in the small box… one by one…

T: (After some time), Now… once you are ready, close the lids for both boxes and slowly… slowly take them to the edge of the cliff… gather your entire strength and push these boxes down from the cliff…

Keep breathing… and do remember this is just imaginary… you will not get hurt.

(her eyes were closed but felt rolling…breath was slightly heavier)

C: All done!

Stage 13 (Integration):

T: Great! take deep breaths…and now since you have given away all your worries, you may relax and feel lighter.

(after few minutes pause)

Whenever you’re ready, you may return to the beach. Take your time, be slow.

Enjoy the fresh relaxing air at the beach, the calmness of waves.

Stage 14 (Closure):

T: (After a minute) We shall return from here… As I count till 10, you may come back to your body senses… 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…tennnn…

Slowly whenever you feel like you may turn to any of your preferred side and open your eyes.

Stage 15 (Report & Recommendation):

As noticed the client could not reach to her Past Life(s). However, we could say that these sessions were Regression Therapies.

After the session, the client mentioned while she was at beach, she could feel the breeze on her face. She also felt her hair was getting tangled.

Regarding the cliff climbing, she filled the bigger box with worries about all three children and the small box was about her husband deteriorating health and future.
Pain level after all sessions: 4/10

To continue practicing their daily routine (yoga, meditation).

Notes from therapist:
They are one couple I admire a lot! Togetherness is their strength. Till today they never go alone anywhere (even for veggie shopping) .

Have also performed Reiki therapies on Mrs. Singh for her keen pain relief. Living alone from quite some time, they planned a pilgrim trip during Diwali, hence now travelling. Once returned, hopefully will have more sessions so that we could dive into past lives (previous births) :blush:

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Dear Pooja, Wonderful! session. Very unfortunate that these parents had to go through these events with their children. Nothing short of “Horror scenes in Movies”
Appreciate your honest admission for getting chickened out!.. :slight_smile:
In one of the interviews given by Lathaji, she said during her careers first song recording, she chickened out!!!; just went blank…
Suggest to pursue and try to regress them once more because this case is very unique and suggest huge imprints of past life and their impact which has made their life upside down. You will certainly learn a lot from it…

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Dear Pooja,

It takes some courage to accept such a challenging case.
My compliments for the same. :yellow_heart:

My learnings are as under for your consideration please,

My heart goes out to the couple for all the sufferings they had to bear in this lifetime. My compliments to you for the much needed empathy and patience that you brought to the pained lives. :pray:

Please do consider sharing the Hindi script for induction/relaxation for benefit of us all.

Wonderful suggestions to make the client comfortable and progress ahead.

Here we may consider paraphrasing and also to get in touch of emotional side of her experience. She is not feeling good and definitely it is not OKAY for her.

Consider using experience/visualize/bring all future worries to your consciousness and place them in the smaller box one by one. Thinking is more relatable to the conscious mind and we do not want to alert it.

You are doing a noble work. :ok_hand:

You definitely have all the ingredients for an excellent PLR session. Do prepare well with those and We all are waiting to hear the wonderful session reports.

Best Wishes
Regards

Monesh
:maple_leaf: :maple_leaf: :maple_leaf:

The Stage Is All Set Indeed

2 Likes

Dear @Monesh_Bathre , thank you for taking the time out to read the entire case.
Honestly i was waiting for your comments. You being our senior your valuable feedback does makes us better :slight_smile:
You may say, am one of your fan follower as i do read all messages you have posted on this forum :blush:

Regarding Hindi version, one of our batchmate @pushparag.j9019 was the first person to conduct his case in Hind. He had shared his Dave Elman recording and that’s how it helped me :smiley:

4 Likes

Dear @Ananda_Krishnan, yes I too want to see them happy. Will try must best for next session :crossed_fingers:

Thank you for the motivation :blush:

Hi Pooja - First case, aged couple in distress and Pooja…the God’s representative for the couple. Take a bow. Only a good soul will take such a client as a first case.:pray::pray::pray:.
Till now I felt you have executed the case perfectly and have taken the right breaks. From point of view of spiritualism, I fully understand the reason for having such children…it’s karmic retribution…but I am eager to get this validated by PLR.
Please keep us posted for the remaining sessions. All the best.

Regards

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Hello @deepakchaks, i too agree with you. Hopefully we shall get to know soon. :crossed_fingers:

Thanks for sharing @Pooja
Adding to what @Monesh_Bathre has already said,

this is actually unbelievable!

Please learn all the stages correctly, as you are missing one.

Disaster! What else did you want Pooja?

When we are not in sync with the client’s experience and don’t value what surfaces from the depths of the unconscious this is what happens. I wish you could stay with the client, value their experience.
I think you had informed me of this case when we had met, yes, it’s incomplete and remember the client is A so we need to calibrate our suggestions accordingly.

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