Client details
Mr. H. Graphic designer. Aspiring movie maker.
Vitals: M/ 47Y/ HR score: 9/10; ERT score: 2/4/ VAK score:7/5/3
Breathing pattern: Normal Dominant sense: Kinesthetic Secondary sense: Visual
Pain level: 9
This is my first case study. I am going to admit the mistakes I made and how the client’s subconscious mind was so forgiving, that it gave answers at the end of each and every session.
Client History
Mr. H is a freelance graphic designer and aspiring movie maker. Born in a middle class family with 3 male siblings. Though his legs by birth were normal, due to some issue while delivering polio vaccines led to a failure- he became physically challenged at the age of 5. He feels the love and caring of his family. Schooling was difficult because they weren’t ready to admit due to his disability. He was an above average student. During college, he found his passion in script writing and direction. He has done many documentaries, ad-films, acclaimed by his peers. He is admired for his talents. He got two chances for movie making- but then due to his fear of perfection, he lost those chances. Though his talent is appreciated, he is known for his procrastination. At 47, he is worried about financial stability, future, marriage life (married, but no kids).
Finding the theme was very difficult and after 4 sessions we still don’t have a proper theme.
He suffers from- overthinking, procrastination, taking life with a very easy attitude (he can get things easily), built in anger (doesn’t show), decision fatigue (lately he couldn’t make right decisions), feeling disconnected. At times he feels like he wants to end this life.
So we drew a chart of emotional connectivity: Which emotion is basic leading to all other emotions.
Anger (disability)- careless attitude (pampering from loved ones)- laziness (procrastination)- decision fatigue- guilt (too many mistakes financially and personally)- feeling disconnected.
He wants to work on ‘how to feel the oneness’ and wants to know the reason why he feels disconnected lately.
I mentioned this is a very broad question on how to feel oneness, can we pick up one theme which he suffers from. He chose ‘anger’.
Session 1: Sep 15, 2025 (10.00- 1 pm)
Stages 1- 7 were completed.
We both decided to work on anger. Induction done with relaxation, healing light, garden of peace.
The client recollected happy moments of his life: All 3 of them were moments of academic and professional accomplishments.
The client was asked to recollect the memories where he felt anger.
C: I was a young boy. It looks like I am 3-4 years old. I am holding my mom’s hand. We both were walking. A few boys on the street shout at me ‘Nondi’ (In tamil, it means without legs). My mom got furious. She tells the boys to stop and turns around and I can see tears in her eyes.
T: Are you angry because the boys were teasing you?
C: No, I am angry, because I feel guilty of making my mom cry.
T: Are you mad at those boys?
C: No. I am not.
I took the hint ‘guit’ and started working on that theme.
T: Can you go to any other time you feel guilty?
Mentioned a few more incidents.
The therapist took the client to the mountain and reframing was done.
I realized the importance of the theme. As this is my first case study and the client doesn’t have much clue about ‘being in trance’, we decided to work more on the ‘guilt’ theme for the next session.
Session 2: Sep 16, 2025 (10- 1 pm)
The therapist asked whether to continue with the theme ‘guilt’. But the client wanted to work on ‘shame’. The client said he is ashamed of his body. He doesn’t like to think about how he walks. Everyone looks with awe at his work and his face, but the moment he starts to walk, the way they look changes. So, he is ashamed of his legs.
Now I was in limbo. I am not a psychologist and if I use any word which hurts the client it is going to be a big disaster. Instead, I asked him, ‘do you want to know why you have been a victim of polio mishap?’ He said clearly ‘ that is my purpose. With this limb, I need to prove myself in the film industry. I am not interested to know why my limbs are like this. All I want is why I feel disconnected. I understood and continued the session.
The client was relaxed and confirmed through IMR.
T: Let your higher self take you to the moment when you start feeling disconnected?
C: I see a lady. She looks like a doll, not real. Green screen. A clock.
T: Can you see you there?
C: No. But I see a green room. The lady looks beautiful but a doll or statue kind.
T: The clock is beautiful. Now I am at the beach.
C: Who is with you?
T: No one.
The client was drifting to too many scenes. So many descriptions about everything. Whatever the client visualized, the description was in detail and beautiful. But no continuity.
C: I am seeing myself as a 3 year old boy. I have long hair. I am walking alone.
T: Is no one around you?
C: The sky is clear. The sideways has bullock carts. There is an autorickshaw going on the far end of the road.
T: Is anyone looking for you?
C: I am going towards the railway crossing.
T: Is no one looking for you? Didn’t you feel that you were lost?
C: I am walking. The road is muddy.
Descriptions about the surroundings were endless. But no answers for emotions or people.
The client came out of trance. Totally clueless and felt my session was a failure.
After the session during the discussion, the client said he was in a very deep state. He saw many things, which he has never seen. I felt like ‘surgery went well, but the patient died’. Trance state was achieved, but no answers.
I asked when you saw so many scenes from your childhood or from other lives, I was asking about what you were feeling or who you were with. You never answered for any of those.
I suggested to him, maybe he is not feeling the emotions. Whenever he is confused, he distracts himself with the surroundings. Instead of going deep, he immerses in external beauty. All the scenarios he described were like in movie settings, but with no story line or emotions.
Then I asked the client to try out:
- Practice mindfulness.
We decided to give a gap.
Session 3: (Sep 23, 2025, 10- 1pm)
After relaxation, he was taken to a tree, which has the cosmic intelligence to guide him to the place where he can feel oneness (the client sticks with the theme of ;oneness’ or feeling disconnected).
T: What do you see now?
C: I am floating above. I see soldiers (chinese). White uniform and red cap.
T: Do you know the year or place?
C: I feel like ‘Myotchur’ is the name of the place and the year is 1856. It could be Indonesia or China. I don’t know. I see on the other side. Soldiers are dressed black and bronze mask on their face.
T: Where are you?
C: I saw them shooting the arrow. I see arrows pierced in the walls of the palace. An Indian temple is coming into picture. A mosque is also coming (the windows are small as in a mosque). Soldiers are fighting. I am watching from the top.
I feel like I am a bird now. Yes, I am a bird. I am not a human. Now, I am shot by an arrow and I am dead.
I see a dead body. It is very gross. Within the eye socket, there is nothing, instead some vapor is coming out as if ‘anger’ is exuding out of the eye socket.
The client was drifting all over the place. Finally, the client came out of trance.
During discussion:
T: You saw a lot of things, does it make any sense to you?
C: There was a war between two factions. I was a bird. I died.
T: Does it mean anything to you?
C: I have been a spectator. Dying as a spectator is useless. I should have fought- either win or lose. But I was gathering experience. I was just watching and didn’t do anything. Now after death, it feels that my life is wasted. The empty socket scares me, that my life is empty as a spectator.
Session 4: (Sep 24, 2025 10-12 pm)
Integration:
The client always believed in perfection. He was procrastinating that things will happen in a dramatic or poetic way. While waiting for that poietic moment, he lost his moment of action.
The therapist suggested that unless you dive into the water, you will never learn how to swim. By watching people swimming, won’t make you a swimmer. This seems to be the reason for him feeling disconnected as he was just a spectator but not a part of it.
Session 1: Importance of the theme. A well defined question is half answered. The subconscious mind can give you the theme in the middle of the session too, if you can’t figure out one.
Session 2: Drifting too many places. Not a story line. Not all trance will give a story. Drifting clarifies the present mental status of the client. In my case, distractions. A focused mind sees the story. Else, only drifting.
Session 3: Even if the client and therapist don’t have any clue on what they are doing , the subconscious mind is always wise to give its lessons.
It was a wonderful learning experience for both client and the therapist.
P.S: I am thankful to @Monesh_Bathre for the valuable suggestions.
About his pain level and follow up, it will take a few months before I update. The client is not fully convinced that he got his answers, which I totally agree with. I told the client, the boss (subconscious mind) gave the directions you need right now. Let us do that task. When you have completed that task, we will move forward and promise him of future sessions too after a week.