Gururbrahma gururvishnuh gururdevo maheshwarah |
Guruhsakshat parabrahma tasmai shrigurave namah ||
This is one of the basic shlokas which is taught as soon as the child learns to speak, it has a beautiful meaning which says “Realize that the Guru is Like Brahma as he creates good hidden qualities in kids. He is Like Vishnu as he preserves all the beautiful qualities that the child has and He is also Like Shiva as he destroys all the unwanted qualities in the kids. With this knowledge, I offer my obeisance to the Guru.
In India we have always placed teachers next to God. But there are some teachers who don’t deserve such respect at all they are like pests in our society slowly eating up the future generation, such parasites should not only be removed permanently but they should also be given a punishment for life by which others learn lesson for life.
A recent session which shook me had one such pest. Got a call from a mother of an 18 year old girl who had lost interest in studies and did not want to pursue education at all. I was extremely busy on the weekend however the mother’s tone forced me to give a second thought, the girl had become very violent and she cried that they won’t be able to handle her till next date.
So, the session was fixed and they reached an hour in advance. I had to tell them to wait till I made myself available as soon as possible. The young girl was accompanied by her mother and grandfather. I took all of them in my studio and after the initial introduction, we were about to start the session when the girl went to the rest room and mother took the opportunity to tell me that she suspected some mischief in school due to which this girl had started behaving differently sometimes violently. The girl used to get so violent that she used to hit everyone around her. She however never had opened up with anyone even though they had taken her to many psychiatrists.
Without wasting time we started the initial talks, while talking to her I realised the girl was hard of hearing due to which her speech was not clear. I even mentioned this to her mother. I felt she has certain behavioural issues which the family had ignored. A lot of talks, discussion but the girl was not at all opening up. While discussing I felt her expressions change while she was talking about a particular teacher and that triggered me and wherever she took the conversation I brought it back to the teacher and finally what the girl confessed blew me totally.
This English teacher who is a young chap in his 30s used to call her regularly when she was in the 8th Std and what started as a friendly talk became a regular chat in the 9th Std, just when she had reached the 10th the teacher started video calls. The girl clearly remembered the date time year of call. It had created impressions in her young mind. The teacher once called her in a completely nude state. The girl was shaken. She couldn’t share with her family. She was scared to tell her mother even with her friends. While she was narrating this to me tears were rolling down her beautiful cheeks. Such calls became frequent and she started getting scared of her mobile. She even remembers that she got so scared and irritated that she broke 2 mobiles. The family just remembers her to be a violent child, had they known the reasons for such behaviour they would have taken strong steps. Although as a therapist I was totally at ease but I would be faking if I say i wasn’t shaken actually inside me I was also completely shaken, how a teacher who is considered to be a guru could take such undue advantage of a flower like mind of a young aspiring bud, thereby shattering it completely.
I had no idea that there was more to come. The teacher one day sent her a nude video of her close friend, she was very scared to see it fully, she just remembers her friend was crying, she deleted it immediately. From the next day he started black mailing her that if she doesn’t listen he will upload her friend’s video in social media. This went on for some days. Ultimately the girl burst out while saying that she also once removed her clothes on his forcing her and that was the reason she felt dirty and used etc. Of course the man did not physically harm her but mentally emotionally he had killed her consciousness completely. The harm was done. It was really difficult to control her but I took a lot of time to just relax her. They had come from out station and could not spend night so after giving a little break I started with the relaxation, the girl was relaxed went into trance but could not go into her past at all. Could just relax her and used the affect bridge technique to help her forgive herself. The PLR session could not happen, it was purely counselling session. She needs many more sessions to be completely in alignment. This post is mainly for the parents to be cautious of what their children are watching and whom they are talking to. I take this opportunity to appeal to all the parents that our responsibility is not only to provide them with costly things but to be a friend philosopher and guide to them so that they can freely come to us to confide and talk about their problems.
Hy Geetha. Thank you for sharing this awareness for parents.We hear a lot about physical abuse, but mental abuse like these affects and ruins you from inside. For a second just kept myself in her shoes and felt the pain, it was unimaginable. It just create a big block in your mind, and these kids, women and men too, who are going through such nuisance, needs an amazing healer like you. Doesn’t matter she went into a past life or not, but at least you could relax that beautiful soul and let her vent out her heart was just an amazing start of healing. Thank you Geetha, i look forward to learn this compassionate behaviour from you.
Hare Krishna! After relaxation, the first question I would ask her is whether she should feel shame or he should feel shame. Who hurt who? question. Who is dangerous? Answer would surely be “he”. Hmm! We could do a check and balance sheet where she could see clearly who is wrong and should feel shame. Its about time our girls felt empowered.
Then what should we do, the answer should come from her with some support from the therapist. Prepare her for the “Hero” she is going to be!
That’s when parents and school gets involved. With parents consent, Videos and messages can be retrieved for evidence and the offender put behind bars because he has crossed the safety boundaries of every child. Such people don’t cross boundaries with adults as they fear exposure.
He might strike younger children after knowing that client is receiving help. Younger children who can’t explain or think…even special needs children. He may look for orphans.
It becomes our duty to report such a person by keeping the young girls identity confidential… do not reveal to the news or media. Just get his nude picture retrieved, get the police involved and report him. Other details, if needed, can be given to the Attorney General or Judge behind closed doors…no need to reveal.
These people may be psychopaths, sociopaths or narcissistic. We don’t know. He may keep low and merge years later to harm her again.
With the consent of the parents, the case can be referred to a Psychologist or Counsellor to take further action. This is how we do referrals and work with the System for the sake of effective care.
If not reported, in Singapore, we can be called to Court too. Not sure how it is in India. Please check. I may be over-reacting due to my background as a Clinical Counselling Psychologist.
Maybe its about time we did co-casework management.
Thank you Geetha. Feeling terrible at the way we are heading as society. It is important that such rogues in the guise of teachers should be behind bars. Without impacting the girl, we need to see how this guy can be punished.
Thank you for the detailed guidance Nisha Mam. Your words always mean a lot to me. I understand your reactions. On that day I was also in the same state of mind. But felt I should just let things happen, anyway the actions on my part were:-
i. The girls emotions have been taken care exactly the same way you have guided, she felt a lot relieved and she needs more sessions (she will be coming back very soon-message received from her mother) .
ii. The Mother and daughter are not ready for any complaint so as per Law I cannot tell them or force them, was just remembering Venu’s quote - 'even if a murderer comes our way we should not think about the legal aspects and should think only about how to heal."
iii. However, While talking to the girl I have noted down his facebook link and the school in which he is teaching. since 2-3 days my friends have approached the Tamil Nadu police but no action can be taken without actual FIR which only the victim can file.
iv. Moreover she looked extremely disturbed who knows she has given me the correct man’s name. We should not punish the wrong guy.
v. I had initially posted in facebook (which I have removed now) one of my cousin’s in chennai forwarded it to an NGO which is working for women in Tamil nadu. Many ladies having DP of young girls from that NGO have sent friend request to this guy and he has readily accepted. Lets wait and see if he is the accused he should fall into this trap very soon.
Anyway thank you Nishaji for the support. Lots of love and regards
Yes Harishji we need to work towards the moral values first. I guess the internet has made a huge impact and the impact is clearly seen in the next generation. Its the responsibility of every parent to be aware what their children are doing and whom they are chatting or talking, they should convey to the children that they will be with them helping them in any situation.
Firstly thank you for discussing the case of this little angel here @saigeethavish
Priceless take away from the greatest Psychologist i am blessed to know.
Since all your motives are in the right place, I feel that everything you do will be right. Much appreciate how well Geetha has been handling this case to get justice.
Driven by my instincts, we have to heal and protect the little one—which is clearly possible using PLRT in my humble experience.
I remember a client who was sexually abused in her childhood by her Mama (uncle) to whom she was entrusted. She was raped repeatedly at an age when she couldn’t even comprehend what was going on. To her surprise and mine she reframed the experience and said that what had happened was to the body, while her Spirit or Atman remains untouched! I felt as relieved as her mother.
Thank you Venu for your guidance will surely take more sessions for her. She is regularly in touch with me. What I did not write in the writeup was that when I took her second session I was doing a regression as per procedure which we follow but she was not at all comfortable as I mentioned earlier but I remembered my first PLR which I had done on Geetika during the constellation training and she was also not comfortable and thats when you intervened and told me to do Progression and you only taught me how to do this. So I followed the same procedure and this girl immediately went into progression and she saw herself 10 years from now and she was a respectable doctor with a loving family she was very happy to experience and as soon as she came out she told me that now I know that I have to concentrate on my NEET exams so that I can become a doctor. This healed her a lot. I have fixed more sessions with her for relaxation and will update as soon as I see progress
