Ms T
43 yrs old
Working in a reputable corporate/education company…
Looks after her mother.
In her words:
Fear
Haven’t been able to find a life partner
All relationships come this close and then without a proper closure just disappear.
Lack of relationship balance
Fear of driving
I have decided no more suffering, want to heal.
Sister always handled my marriage proposals, I couldn’t agree for any.
Some which were acceptable went away saying I’m too plump or old.
There was a guy 3 or 4 yrs younger than her, who she believes loved her, she had a great liking, she couldn’t express, he got married to someone else.
Right now , another guy P , 3 yrs younger ,going through divorce , showed a lot of interest in her and suddenly stopped communication.
Has done hands on healing, read some books…
Unmarried
Second child
Has an elder sister. 9 years older.
Father passed away when she was 16
Father had severe diabetes and gangrene foot
Never saw parents close with each other.
Both parents were teachers
Over protective sister
Even now controls her.
2004 accident tempo traveller toppled thrice…Had multiple fractures
Fear/pain score 9 to 10
HRQ: 7yes
Assessment of Dominant Sense
A 9
V 10
K 10
(She had marked multiple)
(Total 14 hours)
Progressive Relaxation, pyramiding
Staircase
Door
Light
C: Round face plumpy girl
Bare feet
28yrs
There are lots of people
They are all happy
It’s a function
Can’t make out what function
All are wearing bright dresses
I can see my ex HOD { she was remembering her current life}
She’s the same
I am in a pale salwar
Not at all looking nice
My dress is not good
I am looking dull
It’s a college function or wedding I can’t make out
I feel I’m not one among them
I feel like an outsider
They are all busy talking, enjoying
Feeling left out
Like I’m not a part of them
I feel I’m not normal
They may reject me
I’m hesitating to go and mingle
T: Where do you feel this
Discomfort
(Winces)
C: In my throat…In between my throat and heart actually
Pain in my right hip and leg
T: Is it very painful
C: Yes I have this for a long time
T: i understand it is painful…
Hmm…
T: would you like to trace the origin of this discomfort
( as the client has done some work with me regarding unserving repetitive thought patterns, beliefs and healing them, higher self, perception and perspectives, I found these words appropriate)
C: yes
T: you are doing wonderful
So, let’s take deep breaths once again…Nice n deep
(pre induction we had discussed about breath being so powerful…So she was very much in tune)
5,4,3,2,…1…
C: I am in 8th standard…Father is very very sick.
He’s being hospitalised…
Life is tough…
Mom is tired…
6 months of hell…And insecurity…What would happen to dad…
He underwent foot surgery…
I cannot do much…
Life is going on…
Father does his own dressings…He is at home…
From the time father has been sick, I don’t see any connection with father and mother…Everything is mechanical…
When I ask to help…I am shooed away saying I am small…
Father recovers…
Then continues to work until retirement, 6 months later he dies…
T: what are the feelings inside you?
C:…I miss him…But it also feels like a relief…For him…He was really sick…
T: hmmm…
C: now it is only mother, sister and me…
Cautious in everything…No risks to be taken…Managing within our limits
My sister as usual bosses over me…
I have to listen to her…
I feel inadequate…
T: could you describe how you are feeling…
C: I feel it as completely incapable of anything worthwhile…I feel it in my hip area right side coming down leg…I feel small…Not able to do anything…Helpless …Without any support I can’t do anything kind of feeling…( sad…Eager to solve it look on face)
T: I understand…
T: shall we explore deeper?
C: yes yes
T: breathing… Deeper and longer…
…
5,4,3,2…1…
C: I am 5…Not even 5 may be…
I get to hear this all the time…
You are small no…You are small no…
I don’t understand…
I just listen to my sister…
I am sent to my sister’s friend’s house whenever mom is not around…
…
T: how do you feel there?
C: they are very nice…They look after me well…
But I feel so different from everybody else…
In our house they are all disconnected…
T: hmmmm
…
T: anything coming to your awareness?
C: ( deeply relaxed)
T: take a few moments now allowing your higher self to look at everything from your highest perspective…Absorbing all the learnings…
Your higher self knows the best…
Take your time…
C: …
…
…
T: you are doing great…
C: (smile)
I think I felt unimportant…Incapable…as the belief that I am a child who cannot make any decision for myself…I fear that I shouldn’t become close to father/ mother…Because anyway I don’t get to be with them…
So I shouldn’t get too close and involved…
(I thought this had something deeper in past lives…Since it was way past lunch time…Wanted to take a break)
T: hmm
T: how do you feel now…
C: there’s a kind of relief that I now know the reason behind some of the things happening in my current life…
T: ( I thought she was already slowly emerging)
That’s beautiful T…
Shall we come back…
C: yes…Can I use the washroom?
T: sure sure…
Slowly taking a few comfortable breaths…
1, 2, 3,4,5…
After lunch and some discussions it was evident she had started doing some deep work within…No more agitated like when she came in…And she was willing for a session.
Proressive relaxation…
Tunnel of light
10,9,8,…1
C: Sea…
I am a small girl
I may be 6 7 or 8
I am lost
Waiting
Feeling lost
(Emotional)
I want people to come and pick me up.
( Restless)
Where are they…
All are busy…
…
T: hmmm?
C: I am lost
No one is there…
T: Where have you come from?
How come you are alone?
C: I don’t know…
I feel like somebody just allowed me to play around and now they are not there…
T: did you come with your parents?
C: No…
There’s no body else near me
The sea and me
T: Do you see any structures, buildings anywhere near there?
C: No…I am lost…
T: Can you go back a little and see where you came from…
Breathing
…
54321…
T: what are you becoming aware of?
C: I can see the king
It’s a palace
He’s my father
But he’s busy
He has no time for me…
I feel sad
I am wearing a gown…
T: hmmm…
C: It’s war
I don’t want war
There’s noise
Too much noise
I am crying ( crying)
No one to pick me up
T: who else is there in the palace?..
Do you see your mother?
C: I don’t have mother
I can’t see my mother
I don’t feel my mother
T: Can you go back a little and walk into the palace and look around?
Breathe…3, 2, 1,…
C: It’s too far no?
I can’t walk…
I am in the palace…
It’s my home…
They are all in war dresses…
All covered…
I can’t make out any faces…
War is going on…
T: breathing…Take yourself to a significant event…
5,4,3,2,…1…
C: War is still going on…
I’m older…
They are all busy in the war
I’m left alone
I don’t have anyone…( sad)
I am 18…19…
I am a beautiful girl
I am taking care of myself
I am scared of taking anybody’s help.
Again they’ll leave me and go…
I am going to be alone
I am scared…
T: I understand …
…
C: I am seeing a guy coming my way…
In a white horse…
Coming towards me…
He comes and sees me daily…
I think it’s someone…mmm( muffled voice)
Prince…His name is Prince…
My name is Jeanette…
French
He takes me to his house
…
T: hmmmm…
C: I feel good…
T: Are you both in love?..
( Since her theme was love, not finding partner, I think I was too eager to know more…
Held myself back…)
C: I don’t know
We both are living together
We are talking
I am very comfortable with him
He shows me sunset…
Takes me around
Very nice place
Palace like…Like old building…
Beyond sea shore
We can see sunset…
Sunrise…
Beautiful place…
I am having a comfortable time…
…
I haven’t visited my home
There’s no one there…
This is a new place
It’s calm
We are happy
We are not married
May be like engaged
We live in this palace
It’s not like my father’s place…
It is a palace but old kind…
(Processing)…
T: what are you now becoming aware of?
C: He goes for war…
He says he’ll come back…
He doesn’t…
T: do you know which war this is?
C: mmm…It is 1756…
…
…
(I wait…Listening to her silence…Knowing she’s in deep trance…And aware of something deep…)…
…
C: War is not over…It is still on…
I am waiting, waiting, waiting
Alone…
…It is a long time…
Still waiting…
My dad went for war…
He didn’t come back…
Prince also went…
He didn’t come back…
Again I’m left alone…
Why people want war?
Homes are broken…
If I am alone I won’t be sad…
If people come and go, I’ll become sad…
If I show love, they are making me sad…
My dad didn’t come…
He forgot me…
Prince also forgot me ( cries)
…
They must be fine…
But they completely forgot me…
…
T: are you aware of something now?
C: yes…
I have become an old granny…
Same palace…
Still waiting waiting waiting…
Somebody’s feeding me food…
All things are going on normally…
Only, I am alone.
War has subsided…Long back…
Nobody came .
I don’t know what happened to Prince and Dad…
I think it’s nearing my end…
I am writing a letter to Prince… And dad…
Separately…
I write:
I was waiting for you but you disappointed me…
Old now
Leaving my body…
Only care taker is there…
She’s a young woman…
She’s my mother from this life…
I’ve left body…
But still there…Watching…
One question unanswered is still there.
Why did they leave me?
T: can you go to some of the good times you had with Prince?
C: I am with him…Sunset…Holding hands…Feeling loved …Laughing…Enjoying…
T: breathing now…
3,2,1…Are you becoming aware of the answer…
C: I see now…
They both died in the war…
…
T: what is the message for you for this life now?
C: No war…
There should be no war…
If you like people, they will go…
They will leave you…
Don’t let people go away from you…
Don’t forget that people are waiting for you…
Don’t forget yourself so much…
Duty…
They had duty…
They also suffered…
They went to save people…
It’s ok…
You were busy with your duty…
…
I will let go…
I am not angry…
Prince I am waiting for you…
I will not scold you…
I am not angry any more…
Some things, even if we don’t want it to happen, they happen…
Though they didn’t want to leave me alone, they had to go for a reason.
They didn’t do it purposefully…
They felt their work was more important…
So they went away…
…
Emergence…
She’s all laughter, smiles…Talks talks talks…Oh.my God…
That’s why…Oh God… That’s why…
I ask her what
That’s why I don’t want any body to come close, I don’t want to have a committed relationship…
I have been creating from the same belief!!
Wants to heal that fully.
Wants to come next day.
Says ‘pain is gone’
Next day
Progressive relaxation ( my favourite)
Staircase…
Door…
Light…
C: Small boy…
I am cycling…
A wooden cycle…
I am a foreigner here…
I look different…
I see different features…
Like Meghalaya type of people…
Tribal kind…
Umbrella…Large…Flat…
Not normal umbrella…
They wear skirts…
…
…
C: Men women walking about…
I look different from them…
( A baffled look on the face)
Why do I look different… There’s no one else like me…
I am a foreigner…
I don’t know why…
I am there…
Something like a market place…
I have blue eyes brown hair…
White full arm shirt…
Blue pants…
Shoes…
…
…
C: What am I doing here?
I don’t know…
I am singing a song…
English song…
Or may be French…
I may be British…
I am a complete foreigner
( greatly surprised…Says that again n again)
No one looks like me…
I am a happy kid, but I feel alone…
I am not bothered what they all are doing…
I am happy but lonely…
T:hmmm…
Where are your parents?
…
C: I don’t see anybody…where are my people???
Who brought me here?..
…
T: Breathing…Nice n deep…Nice n even…
5, 4, 3, 2, 1…
C: I have grown up…
I have a bike( smiles)
All strangers…
It’s a different place…
Not where I grew up…
I don’t have a home…
I don’t live with anybody…
I keep moving from place to place…
May be I was lost…
Why don’t I have parents like others?..
So, I grew up in all these places…
T: would you like to remember where you came from?
Your breath can easily take you there…3, 2, 1…
C: Boat…
We were travelling
Something happened
Boat tilted
I am washed away(sobs)
I am calling them, they can’t hear me…
I am unconscious…
…
I see Japanese kind of tiny eyes above me…
…
( Goes back)
There I got lost …(shows)
Old granny…Takes me.
Gives me food
I am crying… Don’t know what happened( cries)
What to do…
How will I know
I am small Na
(Silence)…
T: hmmm…
C: I am now a young boy
25…26…
T: You seem to be happy…
C: Yes
It’s beautiful
Nice church
A girl is coming in white gown
I am in a suit, bow
I am getting married
I am somehow eager
She’s blonde
White skin
Pretty
(Smiles)…
Oh…
The ring falls down…
People are searching for it…
They find it…
They give it to me…
I put it on her, she puts ring on my finger…
We are married…( joyously)
We are very happy…
…
It’s a small home…
She doesn’t know cooking…
(Laughs)
I cook for her
T: what are you cooking?
C: Salad green…Looks tasty…
Mmmm…
…
We have 2 children
Twins…
Boys…
They look just like how I looked when I was a kid…
…
I do some repairs…
Cars, nuts , bolts…I can see old cars…
I still have my bike…
(Silence)
…
(Some strong emotion stirring up)
…
T: you are doing wonderful…
C: I come home
There’s nobody
I look everywhere
Wife and kids…
Where are they…
Can’t find them…(anxious)
Silence…
…
Abreaction
…
C: They have met with an accident…
They are dead…
Something crushed them…
I am alone again…
They have left me alone again…
(I allow the abreaction to take place…Then slowly wipe her tears…)
C: If you love, they leave you
If you love, you’ll be alone, everyone goes away
I am devastated, I am sad…
………
T: there must have been many happy moments too…
C: yes…
I am playing with my kids, my dog
Wife is happy
We are having a nice lunch
There’s cake, red wine
All are very happy…
…
(Now she’s able to look at it in a more composed manner)
C: She was driving the car
Truck hit
I don’t know driving
She drives…
…
She’s deep in trance once again…
C: I am holding somebody’s hand
I am enjoying laughing
She’s my partner
I am a man
She’s P!!! ( laughs, surprised)
We are holding hands…
Hohoho… ( laughs)
It’s P in skirt shoes… He’s my wife!!!
(Highly amused)
We are going somewhere…
Nice house…
Going inside…
Cars …bikes… servants…
I have earned so much of money…
I am doing some business…
Automobile related…
I have a daughter…
I have got her a sports car…
But I can’t drive…
I have a driver…
We are a happy family…
Laughing party dance…
Nice( smiling)…
My daughter is married…
Me and wife are very happy…
All the pain is gone…
Only Love is there…
(Smiling)
No fear…
Daughter is coming home with her kid…A girl…
We are all happy…
Son in law is French or British…
Black suit… Handsome…
We are all happy…
End of my life …I am 80…
Happy to leave…
I am very happy I am not alone.
I am floating…Very peaceful…
T: So lovely…there’s so much happiness and love…
What is the message for you from that life ?
C: First I was scared, so I lost them.
Then I became strong, life is happy.
I can see my family crying…
Don’t cry I’ll come back is what I tell them as I leave…
We all meet again…
Be happy …
Don’t fear…
You are not alone…
If you are going to be alone, you will lose…I tell them all this…
I don’t speak…
I tell them in energy…
T: would you like to explore some more?
C: no…
I feel good
T: In that feeling of goodness, who would you like to include?
C: oh…All of them…
T: sending all the goodness, all the love, all the joy, which never ever diminishes but only multiplies as you share it with others…
Embracing , embracing, embracing within its all powerful energy…
C: yes…I can now put all of them…All those memories inside this beautiful space…
T: include yourself too…( laughing)
Your current life…All the people in your life…
C: Feeling so good…
Forgiving, loving,
T:hmm
C: I see that I lived my current life in the way that I believed …From my past…in the depth of my being coming from those things that happened ages back…
It is not true any more…I understand…
Memories are only memories they are not real…For now…
I want to keep only the memories of love and happy moments.
T: Are you now ready to come back?
C: yes…
Some deep sighs…
…
Emerging…
Integration:
I don’t need to hold on to those memories of loneliness anymore.
It is so strong, with those memories if I had created the life I had until now, I can create whatever I want.
She called 5 days later to tell me she had frequent stools (not loose) and frequent large quantity urination for 3 days.
I assured her it’s all the cleansing…
That we celebrate together…Hahahaha…
She has sent a loving message to P…Not attached neither detached she said…
Whatever the outcome , she’s fine, she said.
She is sleeping well…
She released some more old memories( she said there were many small little ones surfacing)…
She could do it easily with gratitude…
She has resolved to create new fruitful relationships…
She knows it is 100% possible because she is 100% not that lost kid anymore !!! (laughter)
I am grateful.