I don't need Validation.. I am enough!

Date: Aug 14th, 2023
Session: 01 (Steps 1 - 8 completed between 6:10 – 7:35pm)

Stage 1
Therapists Intro – Done

Stage 2
Observing the non-verbal
(Well spoken, pleasing disposition, seems spiritually inclined and believes in reincarnation and God. Came with a very open mind and great eagerness to try PLR)

Stage 3
Pre Talk – Done

Stage 4
Contract – Signed

Stage 5

Client Accessibility – Done
Hypnotisability Score: 9/10
A: 01/ V:07/ K:05 (K - dominant)
Eyeball roll score: 1

Stage 6
History Taking
Client’s Name: X
Age: 35Yo
Gender: Female
Residence: Bangalore
Occupation: Self employed as psychology counsellor and a healer
Type of family: Nuclear family. Lives with her husband and a small 5 years old child.
Has siblings: yes
Current Issues: PCOS, weight issues, low self-confidence & self-esteem.

We spoke at length about her childhood and then when her father faced some challenges in business, how their lives changed and she was sent to a hostel to study. Her college life / marriage etc.

Pain level: 8-9

Stage 7
Relax the cognitive fatigue – Done

Stage 8
Theme:
PCOS

Session 02 (7:45 – 9:05pm)
Stage 9

Checklist – Temperature / comfort/ water / blanket etc Done.
IMR set - yes with index finger and no with a shake of the head.

Stage 10

Induction & Deepening

I asked her to just relax and feel the contact points of her body to the couch and allow gravity to help you sink deeper. Relaxing the muscles of the body just taking a few deep breaths to really be present in this moment. And whenever you are comfortable you can gently close your eyes.

We started with the Dave Elman Induction – Eyes, Body, Mind

Feel that As you breath-in… you breath-in a wave of relaxation and as you breath out you let go of all the stress and tension wherever you may feel it in the body.

Let us now focus on the tension around the muscles of your eyes.

And when you breath out, allow your breath to release all that stress and tension mainly around the small muscles of your eyes!

Take 5 deep long breaths and every time you exhale allow your eyes to be a little more relaxed…

5…

4….good

3… Relaxing your eyes more and more

2… there is no need to hold any tension around the muscles of our eyes…

1…

You are doing Very good…

Now this time when you breath-out allow your eyes to feel 2 times more relaxed! …

This time when you breath-out allow your eyes to feel 10 times more relaxed! … you want it to happen, watch it happen… It is very easy, anybody can do it.

(Next giving the suggestion to release any residual tension… and using IMR asked if she was feeling a little more relaxed than when we started… she signalled YES and I moved on to the body)

We will now take this relaxation that you feel, in and around your eyes and try and spread this relaxation throughout your body, starting with your forehead, crown, scalp, back of your head feel the relaxation spread down from your neck to your shoulders and then to the arms – upper arm, lower arm, hands. It spreads to your upper back, lower back, your hips, your thighs, knees, calf muscles, your ankle, your feet all the way to the toes!

In a moment I’m going to count from 3 to 1. just open your eyes at the count of 1 a nd close your eyes as soon as you hear this snap. 3 – 2- 1…. Snap

This time when you close your eyes, let that be a signal for your body to relax

3 – 2 – 1

This time when you close your eyes, let that be a signal for your body to feel two times more relaxed!

3 – 2 – 1

Your body is feeling more and more relaxed… and this time see if your body can relax 10 times more…

Want it to happen, watch it happen … anyone can do it … it is very easy … 3 – 2 – 1

Then did a 3 – 2 – 1 countdown to remove any residual tension from the body.

Using IMR I asked if she was more relaxed, she signalled yes and I moved on to MIND

We used the breath to relax your eyes and then you used your will to extend this relaxation to your body. And every breath deepens this sense of relaxation. Just like any other muscle of the body, the mind too can be relaxed…

In a moment I’m going to count from 3 to 1. just open your eyes at the count of 1 a nd follow my hand which you will see in front of your eyes and close your eyes as soon as you hear this snap. 3 – 2- 1…. Snap … good

This time when you close your eyes, let that be a signal for your mind to relax

3 – 2 – 1

This time when you close your eyes, let that be a signal for your mind to feel two times more relaxed!

3 – 2 – 1

Your mind is feeling more and more relaxed… and this time see if you can relax the mind 10 times more…

Want it to happen, watch it happen … anyone can do it … it is very easy …

3 – 2 -1 Snap …

Just like a stone thrown into the ocean… gets pulled deeper and deeper, allow your mind to fall deeper and deeper into a sense of tranquillity. There is nowhere to go and nothing to do… just this deep sense of relaxation…

Then we did one more round just for any residual tension, I did not ask for IMR and moved ahead to PROGRESSIVE RELAXATION with the healing ball of light

Starting with a body scan once again and then relaxation with a healing ball light. While following the entire progression, I made a suggestion and spent more time at the abdomen area… to feel this beautiful divine light in her abdomen (given her PCOS issue)… “allow yourself to soak in this healing light, feel this divine energy reach every cell of your abdomen pushing away what you don’t need and creating new healthy cells…”

Moving on to the deepening technique using the staircase … Imagine there is a beautiful staircase leading you down and taking you deeper and deeper into a sense of relaxation and peace. This could be made of marble or wood or stone whatever you may like. It is beautiful, decorated and very inviting. You may be intrigued by it… you may want to see where it leads you to… So let’s start climbing down … with every step and every breath you may move towards the deeper recesses of your mind … (Did the Countdown 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1)

Stage 11

Visualization with healing light

Good … there is a door in front of you, you can go ahead and open that door now if you like. As you push the door you see a beautiful, mystic garden. The sun is just about to rise and sky has a resplendent golden hue (She told me during history taking that she likes sun rises) The birds are chirping, all kinds of beautiful trees and plants and flowers are all around you. There is a lovely gazebo with a bench. You could sit there or lie down on the grass. Feel the grass between your fingers … feel the cool gentle breeze on your face … your hair is gently swaying with the wind … you can feel the sun rays caress you and energize you. (After a few minutes)

I asked if she was ready to move on but she shook her head suggesting NO.

So I did one more progressive relaxation with the healing light.

Stage 12

PLR

Happy memories

As you lay in the garden, feeling relaxed and rejuvenated, think of a happy memory … something which could be from your childhood … let it come …

She starts smiling …

T: how old are you?

X: About 3 years old

T: Are you alone?

X: No with my mother

T: Where are you?

X: In a garden … we are playing. It’s just the two of us. I am wearing a pretty dress and we are both were very happy… Grand parents house … in the backyard.

T: That’s nice…stay with that feeling … (after some time)

Anything else that comes to your mind?

X: No

T: Are you ready to move on? (She nods yes)

T: Okay now let’s try and go to the in-utero stage, when you are inside your mothers womb. Try to remember what was going on then … be there… try to listen to all the voices … or any feelings …

(I wait…)

X: She’s happy.

T: Who is happy?

X: My mother… she is happy. She is eating mangoes.

My grand mother got it for her.

T: Is your father around?

X: No he is not. He has gone out for work.

T: How do you feel?

X: Welcomed. Everyone is happy. (She smiles) … (I wait)

T: Anything else you want to share from this experience?

X: No. We are all happy

T: That’s good … take 3 long deep breaths (3…2…1)

[From there we went to the CLIFF – reframing.]

We are now at a beautiful cliff, you can see mountains all around you, white clouds passing against the golden-blue sky, you can feel the cool breeze on your face… there is a river flowing beneath. Let’s take a few moments to soak it all in. (After a few minutes )

There are 2 wooden boxes, one in front of you - a smaller one and the one behind you is a bigger one.

Now go to the box which is behind you, let’s go a recent event or person that bothered you… an emotionally charged moment or episode that has stayed with you. Give it some thought… take your time.

T: Anything comes to your mind?

X: Yes, I had a fight … at home. (She didn’t share more)

T: Ok take that feeling and put it in the box behind you. Now let’s go back a few months, anything that’s bothering you?

X: (She gave it a thought and shook her head ‘no’)

T: Let’s try and go back a couple of years.

X: “I feel like a failure” … “I have let my father down”

T: How do you think you let him down?

X: “He was against it, but I still went ahead and married my husband, I let my father down, maybe I took a wrong decision?”

T: Do you feel it was a wrong decision?

X: I … don’t know

T: It’s okay

X: He has an unstable job. But…

He is always supportive…

T: He is?

X: Yes, Stands by me… always.

T: How do you feel about the marriage?

X: NO… it was a right decision

T: Right decision to marry him?

X: Yes, we are good together

T: Good… like a team…?

X: Yes we can sort it out together…

I asked her if she is ready to move on… she said ‘No’ she said “Let me process this” (Later she told me that it was an important realization for her that her husband is her rock to her and she shouldn’t let her father’s feelings influence what her husband really means to her or their relationship)

T: okay see if you wish to take that feeling of letting your father down and putting it in that box.

X: Yes

T: Let’s go further back…

X: They bully me

T: Where are you?

X: In school, they call me fat and laugh at me.

T: How do you feel?

X: Scared. I couldn’t do anything.

T: Did it happen often?

X: Yes… Made me conscious… feel bad about myself.

T: It was a long time ago, does it bother you still?

X: Yes, I feel conscious (crying)

T: Let’s take 3 long deep breaths… it was a long time ago, they can’t hurt you anymore. Let’s put this feeling in the box.

Gave her water/ tissues and I did the third part of Dave Elman induction again (for the mind) and took her back to the cliff hoping to complete the reframing exercise… but this time she said she was in a battle field and there was a war going on.

She was a lady, in a red sari, wearing a red accessory on her head, footwear – something she hasn’t seen but like a sandal and holding a large sword.

She has more flanking her both sides. They trust her completely and fighting alongside her. They all belong to a certain tribe in India.

I asked her if she knew what period it is … she said maybe 1850s.

Who are the enemies? They are men – I can’t see their faces, I can feel their presence… there’s danger everywhere.

After some time, she started breathing heavily… she said she only saw dead bodies all around her. (She is now visibly in pain, her body became restless)

X:“I let them down, they trusted me and I couldn’t save them…I don’t deserve to live”

(She said she then stabbed herself and took her own life, at this point she grabbed her abdomen and started crying)

X: But I did the right thing.

I suggested her to take deep breaths and float above the body and see if she is aware of anything.

“They are all dead… the men killed everyone!”

She said that’s how I am, once someone trusts me, I can give my life for them!

She was still crying so I gave suggestion for her to breathe deeply and that it was a long time ago. She was sobbing… SoI did a countdown and suggested her to relax at the cliff… look at the horizon… the passing clouds… She said she is not alone. I waited …

In almost a whisper she said …

“I am enough”

“I need to trust myself”

T: Okay good … are you ready to move on?

RRR: I need a break.

T: Okay let’s just go back to the garden for a bit and I will help you come out …

Take a deep breath and as you relax, remember the beautiful mystical garden. With the next exhale you may find yourself there.

I will now count up from 1 to 5 and with every count you will become more and more aware of your surroundings.

1 - Take a deep breath in and as you exhale, remember all the happiness you felt in the garden with your mother.

2 – Exhale … and you are carrying the beautiful healing light within you …

3 – With the next breath you will become more and more aware of the room you are in the walls around you

4 – You can slowly begin to move your hands and feet … feeling more and more awake.

5 – Whenever you are ready feel free to open your eyes and I will step out for a bit so feel comfortable.

(We ended the session after the break)

Stage 13

Integration

We went through the themes that were set at the beginning of the session and how as the session progressed, ‘Guilt’ came out to be one of the more prominent theme.

What is this PCOS trying to tell you?

She felt it was her act of stabbing herself in the abdomen that maybe one of the causes for it.

What is it you need to do, in order to resolve it?

She said - I need to let of a feeling of guilt for everything that goes wrong and I don’t need to carry this burden and not to seek validation from others.
Pain Level – 5
Post hypnotic suggestion –

To have a feeling of gratitude for having a supportive husband / a loving boy and that she is able to do exactly what she wants to as a profession

Challenges will always be there in life, it is important to have the right attitude.

Eat right, have a proper workout regime, incorporate pranayama and meditation for a healthy lifestyle

Stage 14

Closure

She said I have got a very clear message that ‘I am enough’ and that I don’t need to hold on to the past or depend on anyone. All I need to do is trust myself, let go of the self-doubt and face life courageously. She felt that the body-shaming she had faced in school, which she had forgotten about, was one of the major factors for her to feel lack of confidence and that she is lacking. She said it was in the past and that even the kids who bullied her were just a bunch of idiots and how can she let that affect her so much? She said she knows there are changes needed to be made in her life style and she will work on that aspect as well. Most importantly – to live life fearlessly.

Stage 15

Reports

Yes sent to the client after 1 day.

Follow-up

We also did a follow up / catch up call after 1 week.

She said she had a lot of realizations post our session and has been absorbing it all. Is in a much better place mentally and said that she was happy with the session and would want to do another one. However, since we are not in the same city, we haven’t been able to do it as yet.

Thanks for reading!

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