Love That Stopped at the Threshold
PLRT Case Report C04
Friend, Protector, Brother… and in This Life, Husband
Namaskar to all the seniors.
This is my fourth case report, and for me the most special so far. Four sessions, nearly thirteen hours, and a struggle the client could not share even with her husband. Madhu, 26, loves her husband. He is caring and never complains; he only says, “Take your time.” Yet a year into their marriage, they had never been physically intimate. Every time, right at the last moment, something inside her pulled her back.
In the sessions, a familiar figure appeared in three lifetimes, in three different relationships, and each time Madhu saw a glimpse of her husband in him. Almost every stage of the Amarantos protocol fell into place, so I am presenting it in detail, with what I learned and some questions for you.
The sessions were in Hindi; this is my translation, kept close to the client’s words. Names of the client and her husband have been changed. (This is a condensed forum edition of my complete 24-section case report.)
Story of Transformation
There Was Love, There Was Belonging… So Why Did She Pull Away Every Time They Came Close?
A year into their marriage, the couple had never been able to come truly close. Madhu loved her husband. She felt at ease with him. Both of them wanted to be closer.
But every time, right at the last moment, something inside pulled her back. There was no quarrel and no fear. Just an unexplained pause that even she could not understand.
Where did that pause come from? The answer came from a place she had never imagined. From a sense of belonging that was very, very old.
After the final session, her own words were: “I don’t want to pull away.”
What happened in those sessions, and how did Madhu come to see her relationship with new eyes? Continue reading to discover the complete 15-Stage PLRT® journey.
Case Map (CM)
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Theme: Intimacy Block
Pain: 9/10 (start), 7/10 (before final session), 1/10 (closure)
DS: Visual | CS: Visual imagery; suggestions built on “see”
Trigger: The moment emotional closeness moves towards physical intimacy
ET: Partial (deep emotional bond with her father; doctor found no physical problem)
HM: The childhood fair, watching the magic show from Papa’s shoulders, “very safe”
SE: The bond of Milda and Tabaka, and the promise to stay together in every life
KMF / CF: KMF: HM, Pre-Natal, PL1, then through the affect bridge of grief to PL2, PL3, PD and LBL
PL1: A girl in a rural school; the friend who cared for her like an elder brother died of illness
PL2: A slave girl in an Arab land; the buyer freed her and treated her like a human being; he was killed by robbers, and she died of hunger and thirst
PL3: Tribal girl Milda; her brother Tabaka protected her; she died in his lap, taking his promise for every life
PD: After PL2: pink sky, rainbows, “as if I have come back home”. After PL3: detached, yet an ache of separation remained
LBL: “New relationships are not copies of the past… every new journey brings a new role”
CO: The protector-brother relational template and the promise across lives (hypothesis)
Res: Experienced her husband as her husband in this life; the old role allowed to be complete
PHS: “What was is complete in its own place. What is may be lived just as it is.”
Outcome: Distress 7 to 1 in the final session; no urge to pull away in the intimacy imagery
FU: Not Documented
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1. Case Overview
Client: Madhu (name changed), 26, female, married about one year, media professional
Theme: Intimacy Block | HR: 9/10 | VAK: 8/4/3 (predominantly Visual) | Eye Roll: 2+1
Distress: 9/10 (first session), 7/10 (start of final session)
Sessions: 4 (2 hr 30 min, 3 hr 10 min, 3 hr 14 min, 3 hr 50 min)
Clinical impression: An emotionally connected, cooperative client. The difficulty did not seem to come from a lack of love; it appeared at one very specific moment. My own assessment, not a formal diagnosis.
2. Presenting Concern, Theme and Safety
The couple has never been physically intimate. Madhu likes her husband, feels close to him, and both want intimacy. In her words: “Everything is fine… it feels good… but when we start getting really close, I suddenly feel like pulling away.” She also said her father has had a deep emotional influence on her, and that she has kept looking for a father-like presence in others.
In the pre-talk she said: “My marriage was arranged by our families, but with both our consent. He was my senior in college… He is caring and loving. He never complains; he says, ‘Take your time.’ I feel guilty. I can’t even tell anyone. I even went to a doctor secretly, and nothing was found wrong. I don’t feel physical attraction towards my husband, but I do have sexual desire. It is a problem I can see no solution to.”
Theme: Intimacy Block, agreed with the client in Session 2 (Stage 8). It names the block at one threshold: the move from emotional closeness to physical intimacy. No “cause” was set in advance; the intention was to see what lay beneath the urge to pull away.
Safety Gate: No psychosis, dissociation or self-harm risk; normal physical health; no alcohol, substances or medication; no painful past experience related to intimacy (as reported by the client); doctor found no physical problem; written consent given.
3. Protocol
All 15 stages were completed. Sessions 1 and 2: introduction, observing non-verbals (client relaxed), pre-talk, written contract, assessment, history taking and theme finalisation. Before induction: video and checklist. Sessions 3 and 4: Dave Elman induction, visualisation, regression, integration and closure. Report and recommendations were sent afterwards. The session moved in its own natural flow; the client’s experience was not pulled into a fixed sequence.
4. Session Transcript (Final Session)
Beginning
(By the fourth session I had a clear picture of the problem. Madhu was not afraid of her husband. She was not angry with him either. There was no conflict in the relationship. She liked being near him. The difficulty came at one very particular moment.)
C: Until we become close, everything is fine.
T: And after that?
(Pause)
C: Suddenly I feel like pulling away.
(I did not interpret this answer.)
T: Today we will simply follow this feeling. We won’t try to change it. We will just see where it takes you.
[HM 1] The Childhood Fair
(After Dave Elman induction and deepening)
T: Now move towards a time in your life… where you find yourself surrounded by happiness… where there is joy… peace… You don’t need to search for anything… whatever memory comes naturally, simply watch it.
(A long pause. A faint smile on her face.)
C: I am little.
T: Where are you?
C: I am at the village fair.
(The client described a crowded village fair: lights, people, sounds, and a magic show in the street, which she could not see because of the crowd.)
C: I can’t see it.
T:…Okay, then?
C: I tell Papa.
C: Papa has put me up on his shoulders.
T: Can you see the magic now?
C: Yes… very clearly.
T: How does it feel right now?
C: It’s so much fun.
T: Feel this happiness… and the feeling of being with Papa too.
(Silence for a while)
T: How does it feel to be with Papa?
C: Very safe.
(I did not interpret this word, and let the client stay in the same memory.)
[Pre-Natal] The Experience in the Womb
T: Keeping this feeling with you… go further back in your life… as far as your experience naturally takes you… towards the time… when you were in your mother’s womb.
(Silence)
C: I am inside.
T: How does it feel?
C: Calm and warm.
(Her facial expression changed)
C: I can hear a voice.
T: Just listen to that voice.
(Pause)
C: It’s Papa’s voice.
T: How do you feel with that voice?
C: Good.
C: It feels like… he is outside, but he is close to me.
(I had not suggested whose voice it was.)
[PL1] The Rural School
(The client saw herself as a little girl in a rural school. A dusty playground, a crowd of children, a kabaddi match. She kept losing, people were laughing, and some children were jeering.)
T: What is happening now?
C: I am losing.
T: How does it feel?
C: Very bad.
T: Why so bad… it’s only a game?
C: Everyone is making fun of me…
T: So is no one on your side?
C: No one… except that one boy…
C: When I fell… and people laughed… he was the only one… who said, Hey, don’t lose heart… you can do it.
T: Do you know that boy?
C: I don’t know… but he feels familiar.
T:…Familiar?
T: Can you tell me something more about this familiarity?
(Silence for a while)
C: He is someone of my own…
T: Okay, someone of your own…
T: Does this familiarity have any connection with your present life?
C: Yes, perhaps…
T: Would you like to tell me anything more about it?
C: He looks like my husband…
(The client went on to say that the two of them are now friends. They study in the same school. The boy always looks after her like an elder brother and always encourages her. She trusts him deeply.)
T: As I count from three to one… we will move to the most significant event of this life… (count down)
C: (a faint, tearful voice)… he is gone
T: Where has he gone?
C: He was ill… he is gone… very… far away.
T: What are you feeling?
C:…I can’t get over the grief of his going…
T: Sometimes seeing yourself from a distance brings relief… try to look at this painful situation like a spectator…
T: Are you still as sad as before?
C: No… I feel the sadness, but not like before
T: Take three deep breaths and watch the restlessness inside you leave
T:…If you wish, you can stay with this feeling for a while
(A long silence. No questions, no answers.)
T: Grief is a bridge… across which our memories travel… Let us see… whether this feeling of losing someone dear is opening another page of life… As I count from three to one… you will find yourself in a new dimension of time (three… two… one)… the first scene… the first experience
C: Terrible heat… sand all around… a caravan of camels…
[PL2] The Stranger Who Set Her Free
(The client found herself in an Arab land as a young slave woman, held in bondage. Frightened and exhausted.)
T: Who is with you?
C: No one…
T: Where are you right now?
C: I am in a slave market… everyone is being sold for dinars…
T: What are you doing?
C: Waiting to be sold…
(She was silent for a while)
C: A man is bargaining for me
T: Do you know him?
C: No.
(The man paid the agreed price, freed her, and set off with her towards his home or settlement. She rode a camel with the caravan. The man who had bought her rode the same camel.)
T: What are you feeling right now?
C: I don’t know… but I feel safe with him…
C:…as if he is someone of my own…
T: Someone of your own… can you see the one who helped you?
C: Yes, I have looked at him, secretly…
T: Is he looking at you too?
C: Yes… there is love for me in his eyes
T:…Anything else… you would like to share?
C: His eyes are exactly like… Tarun’s (Madhu’s husband’s name)…
T: Okay, like Tarun’s… alright… anything more you would like to tell me about this person?
C: It feels… as if I have a long bond with him… though I have never met him before… the sun is right overhead… he is giving me water with his own hands… there are tears in my eyes… for the first time in my life someone has treated me like a human being…
(Suddenly Madhu’s voice rises.)
C: An attack… a fierce attack…
C: Some people have attacked us…
T: Who are they?
C: They have swords in their hands… and their faces are masked…
T: Is everyone safe?
C: They have all been killed, one by one… he too…
T: Is the fighting still going on?
C: The robbers have gone… I am lying wounded on a sand dune…
(Madhu then added that there was no one around. The robbers had taken the camels and the goods. A few companions had fled to save their lives. She was overcome by hunger and thirst, and was now waiting for death.)
T: The end of life is not the end of the journey… as I count from three to one… you will find yourself outside the body (count down)
[PD] After PL2
C: (silent for a while)… no pain now… no restlessness… my body is lying below, dead… and I am up in the sky…
T: Is there anything there… that feels different?
C: I can’t feel anything here… I can only feel my own presence… the sunlight here has no heat… the sky is completely pink… I can see many rainbows all around me… it feels as if I have come back home… I can’t see anyone here… but it feels as if I am among many people…
T: Of what just happened to you… is any part, any experience, still with you right now?
C: A slight ache of losing that stranger who helped me has stayed somewhere inside… like a splinter
T: Is this feeling troubling you?
C: No… it just came up somewhere deep inside… but here, at this moment, I feel completely calm and steady… and fully safe too…
T: Very good, Madhu… with this effortless presence within you, let us move towards another important dimension of time… three… two… one
[PL3 / SE] Milda and Tabaka
(The client saw herself as a tribal girl. She gave the name herself: Milda.)
T: Where are you right now?
C: I am in the forest… I have come to hunt
T: Is anyone else with you?
C: No… I am alone
T: What you can see and feel around you right now… would you like to tell me about it?
C: It is spring… the mango trees are in blossom… the palash is in full flower… there is a river nearby… a cool breeze is blowing…
T: Okay… have you caught anything?
C: Yes… I have just caught two rabbits with a snare…
T: Do you want to hunt any more?
C: No… some strangers are coming this way… so I am hiding and watching them…
T: (after waiting for a while)… Have those strangers gone now?
C: They have… caught me… they want to take me away by force…
T: Are you afraid?
C: Yes, a little… but help is close… Tabaka is coming this way…
T: Tabaka?
C: He is my brother… my shadow… he has taken on the enemies… he is fighting…
T: Is everything alright now?
C: The enemies have gone… but Tabaka is wounded… and so am I…
(The client’s breathing was fast and the tension on her face was growing. I helped her relax and waited for a while until her breathing became deep and calm.)
T: If you feel like talking about the emotions you are going through right now… you may…
C: My breath is breaking… I feel my last moment is near… my head is in Tabaka’s lap… he keeps gazing at me
T: What do you feel when you look at Tabaka?
C: (a few seconds of silence) He looks like Tarun (the client’s husband’s name)… the same feeling… the same love…
T: Like Tarun…
C:…Yes, exactly like him…
T: Would you like to stay with this experience for a while?
C: My breath is breaking… Tabaka keeps crying… calling my name again and again… Milda… Milda
[LT] The Final Moment
T: In these last moments, would you like to say anything to Tabaka?
C: I have taken a promise from him… if not in this life, then in every life to come, he should be with me… stay close to me…
T: Life is ready to set out on a new journey… as I count from three to one… watch yourself being freed from the body (count down)
(At this moment of separation from her brother, the client had an Acute Abreaction.)
(A long pause. I stayed silent and waited for the client’s response.)
[PD] After Death
C: (on her own, after the pause)… my body is lying on the ground below… and my brother Tabaka is weeping bitterly… I am watching from the sky… everything like a film
T: How are you feeling at this moment?
C: Detached and transparent… but there is still a slight ache of being away from my brother…
[LBL] Dialogue with Higher Consciousness
T: Meeting and parting… life and death are part of our journey… and your consciousness has experienced this truth many times.
(The client was silent, as if still caught in some question.)
T: Has your consciousness got stuck on some question?
C: Yes… but at the same time an understanding is arising, that not every question has to have an answer… sometimes simply seeing an experience without giving it a meaning is enough…
T: Very good… just stay in that awareness which is wider than your experience.
(Pause)
T: Freedom from the limits of the body is an opportunity… an opportunity to converse with the divine consciousness present around you… ask that awareness… if a relationship has held deep love, protection and strong attachment, is it necessary to carry that old role into the next life as well?
(Pause)
C: I have the answer… it is not necessary…
T: Then what does come along?
(Silence)
C: The shadow of intense emotions sometimes leaves a deep imprint on consciousness…
T: You may ask the guiding field of consciousness the deepest question of your present life, the question tied to your greatest dilemma… what is it, after all… that stands like a permanent barrier in your married life?
(The client signalled agreement with her finger.)
C:…the stages we have passed through are not carried along with us… every life is a new journey… every new journey brings a new role… new relationships are not copies of the past… what had to happen… is what happened… that is what always happens… accept it just as it is…
T: Is this guidance helpful in untangling the confusion in your present life?
C: Yes, perhaps…
T: Anything else important that you would like to receive… it need not be in words… it need not be an experience… its simply being there is enough
(A look of deep peace on the client’s face, but no words. She stayed in this state for some time.)
[CL] Present Life: Her Husband
T: Carrying with you the divine guidance from the higher consciousness and the clarity it brought, let us return to the present life, as I count from three to one (count down)
T: The present life… and you are sharing a happy moment with your husband…
T: What are you feeling?
C: A deep sense of belonging…
T: And his role in this life?
C: My husband… my life partner
T: Now look at the old experiences on one side… and this relationship on the other.
(Silence for a while)
C: There is belonging in all of them.
T: And what is different?
C: Only the role is different…
[CL] Re-experiencing Intimacy
(I asked the client to imagine her husband coming close to her. This had always been the moment when she felt like pulling away.)
T: This is your own moment… completely safe… there is no need to say anything… what is free of inner conflict… what is auspicious… beautiful… that alone is right…
(Before going any further into this private space, I let the client stay with her own experience and emotions.)
(Pause)
[Integration / PHS]
T: Let whatever was in the old experiences remain there with respect. That relationship does not have to be erased, but the role of that time can be complete within that time. The relationship you have been given in this life can be allowed to be lived according to the needs, boundaries, intimacy and reality of this life.
(Silence for a while)
C: What was, has its own place.
C: What is, is different.
C: I can now see my husband in his role in this life, with ease.
C: What was is complete in its own place. What is may be lived just as it is. I can experience my present relationship in its present role.
(I kept these very words of the client as the PHS.)
(At closure, Madhu said she felt “very light”, and rated her intimacy-related distress at about 1/10.)
(With this, the session was formally closed.)
(After the session, Madhu said she felt “comfortable”, and then: “I don’t want to pull away.”)
5. Key Observations
- A smile and “very safe” at the fair; “calm and warm” in the womb, and she recognised her father’s voice herself.
- PL1: a familiar boy, “someone of my own”; after my question about the present life, she said, “He looks like my husband.” Tearful at his death; the grief eased after watching as a spectator.
- PL2: “his eyes are exactly like Tarun’s”; water from his hands, “for the first time someone treated me like a human being”. In the PD, a pink sky and rainbows, “as if I have come back home”, but an “ache… like a splinter” of losing him.
- PL3: very rich sensory detail; “he is my brother… my shadow”; Tabaka “looks like Tarun… the same feeling, the same love”. Acute Abreaction at the separation.
- LBL: she signalled agreement with her finger (IMR agreed in advance), and the insight “not every question has to have an answer” arose on its own.
6. Engram Mapping and Inner State
Core Engram: Milda dies with her head in her brother Tabaka’s lap, taking his promise: “if not in this life, then in every life to come, he should be with me… stay close to me.” Visual: his gaze, the tears. Auditory: his calling, “Milda… Milda”. Kinesthetic: breath breaking, wounds. Emotion: grief of separation, with love and safety. Vow: this line seems to bind the relationship to the role of a protector-brother.
Echoes: In all three lives, a man who felt like “someone of my own” came as a protector and was lost, and each time she saw a glimpse of her husband in him.
Inner state: For Madhu, safety has a face. In childhood it was Papa’s, lifting her onto his shoulders, his voice heard in the womb. In regression, the same safety came as a friend like an elder brother, a protector, and her own brother. Emotional closeness is familiar ground for her. When it starts to become marital and physical, an old “protector and family” feeling seems to wake up, and she pulls back. The desire is there; it does not seem to turn towards her husband. All of this is my working hypothesis.
7. Trigger and Maintaining Loop
The moment closeness turns physical (Trigger) brings a sudden urge to pull away (Response), serving a need for safety and a familiar bond. She pulls back; intimacy stays incomplete; guilt follows, with the loneliness of telling no one, not even her husband; and the next time, the same moment brings the same response. The heaviest link, to me, is guilt: her husband’s patience may deepen it.
8. Competing Explanations
Present life: the deep bond with her father, or simply needing time after one year of marriage. Psychological: hesitation from upbringing; guilt itself keeping the loop going (a medical cause is less likely, as the doctor found nothing). Symbolic: the three lives may picture an inner conflict between safety and intimacy. PLRT: a protector-brother template and the promise across lives (CO). This session cannot settle which is right; all four may be true together.
9. Guidance Load: Moderate
The pre-natal entry, the spectator suggestion, the affect bridge (“Grief is a bridge”), the present-life scene and the intimacy imagery were all my instructions. In PL1, “it’s only a game” made light of her feeling, and the husband link came after my present-life question. In LBL, my statement and my “carry the old role” question hinted at an answer. The integration framework was mine, and her words came after it. What I did not suggest: her father’s voice, the names Milda and Tabaka, “my shadow”, the husband glimpse in PL2 and PL3, and “not every question has to have an answer”. The central LBL guidance came after an open question.
10. Outcome, Recommendations and Follow-Up
At closure she felt “very light” and rated her distress at 1/10. After the session she said she felt “comfortable”, and “I don’t want to pull away.” This is a session-level outcome; without follow-up it is not lasting change.
Recommendations: spend more time together; create a romantic atmosphere; open up more to each other; go out, just the two of you; don’t hold the thought of a blockage; in romantic moments, give no room to any other emotion.
Follow-Up: Not Documented yet. To check: has the urge to pull away changed, has intimacy become easier, has she been able to share this with her husband?
11. My Learning, Limitations and Questions
This case showed me the difference between love and the role through which love is lived. The form kept changing: friend, protector, brother, husband. The belonging stayed the same. The whole integration rested on one distinction: in this life, that person is not her brother; he is her husband. Her line “not every question has to have an answer” became a lesson for me too, and in PL1 I saw Disidentification and the affect bridge working together for the first time. The words at the end were hers, though they came right after my integration statement. I did not need to remove the old relationship; only to tell the two apart.
Limitations: regression material is subjective; its link to the present difficulty is a hypothesis; the father’s role is an observed theme, not established etiology; guidance was moderate; the husband’s perspective is not recorded; closure improvement is not long-term proof. The “ache” left in both PDs shows the imprint may not have fully dissolved.
Questions for the seniors:
- Was my PL1 question about a present-life connection appropriate, or should I have waited for the client to bring it up?
- How can an LBL question be kept more open, so the insight stays entirely the client’s own?
- She saw her husband in a brother-figure. How do I make sure integration does not strengthen “my husband is like a brother”?
- How far is it right to go with an intimacy rehearsal inside trance?
- Should the father thread have been worked on separately with the inner child, and would it help to involve the husband later, with her consent?
12. Epistemic Summary
FACT: married about a year; four sessions; doctor found no physical problem (client-reported). OBSERVATION: the urge to pull away; distress 9, 7, 1; the husband glimpse in all three lives; Acute Abreaction at the separation. ANALYSIS: safety linked to a protective male presence. INFERENCE: the father bond may contribute. HYPOTHESIS: the protector-brother template and promise may get in the way of present intimacy. SPECULATION: that they are truly the same soul. UNRESOLVED: long-term outcome; attraction versus desire.
Professional note: No diagnosis is given. Past-life material is recorded as the client’s experience, not as fact. A documented follow-up is needed to complete this case.
Therapist’s Note
The name of the relationship kept changing.
Friend, protector, brother… and this time, husband.
What never changed was the belonging.
This case taught me that old love does not have to be erased.
It only has to be allowed to stay in its own place,
so that today’s relationship can be lived as today’s.
still under construction 
pesh-eh-Khidmat hai-