About a year ago, I received an email from a person by name Brinda (name changed). She introduced herself as a student of one of my friend who conducts Sanskrit classes and mentioned that during one of the discussions relating to karma, he had spoken about past life regressions and had shared my email id with her as she was keen to have a session at the earliest. I told her that it may take about 2-3 months as I was busy with other priorities and she was willing to wait. Few days later, I realized that I had some free time on 26th December. I checked with her about her availability, and she readily agreed. We decided to conduct the session at her house.
Brinda stayed about 15 Kms from my place. On the appointed day, I drove down on my bike. As the chill December breeze brushed past me, I wondered about the new lesson life had in store for me. I reached the location and was outside Brinda’s huge bungalow. It was 4.30 pm, and I had arrived on the dot. She walked me to the living room of the house. Brinda was a lady in her 50s and lived with her young son and daughter. The son had started his professional journey after completing his studies and the daughter was pursuing higher studies abroad. Brinda, was the only child of her parents and was born quite late into their marriage. She had a good relationship with her father but the mother never really cared for her. She was married very early into a very well to do family. Her father in law was a respected person in the society. Brinda’s uncle had brought the proposal. Despite some rumours about the groom’s character, Brinda’s parents forced her into marriage. The marriage turned out to be hell for Brinda. She always had tensions with her mother-in-law and husband. Things did not improve after the birth of her 2 children and it only worsened as her husband’s extra marital affairs came out in the open. She filed for divorce while staying with her in-laws and the husband went about his affairs. After a few years, the husband died before the divorce and Brinda was left with the two small children. Things got worse after his death. The husband had made huge debts and had forged Brinda’s signatures on post-dated cheques and documents. Lenders would come and threaten her and the children. A few years later, one of her organs failed and she had to undergo a transplant. It has been few years since the transplant and she said she is doing fine. I asked her if her health can be the theme for the session. She replied that health is not the problem and she is doing reasonably well. She was keen to explore the reason for the financial stress that she was under. She said though she stays in the huge bungalow, it is under litigation and she always feared losing it. She said she also feels very lonely, feels left out amongst friends and relatives. These were the two themes that she wanted to explore. It was about 6 pm in the evening. After a short break, I started the session. She asked if she could keep a book relating to Lord Krishna with her during the session. Keeping her hand on the book she soon slipped into trance.
I guided her to early childhood memories and she saw herself as a 4-5 year old playing carom with friends. She then saw herself as 8-9 year old playing with friends – Arthi and Chotti. As I regressed her back, she saw herself as an infant and she saw herself as a one year old sitting on the floor in a room filled with articles. There were some neighbours whom her mother had invited to see the articles and as a child Brinda was telling the neighbours not to touch the articles in baby words.
I asked her to go back to the time from where the root cause of her not feeling accepted arises. She was seeing a dark road with the sky above.
Brinda: I think, I am a man…wearing a pant, shirt…in early 20s…leaving the place…going somewhere.
I asked her to go back and see from where she had set out.
Brinda: There is a house.
Harish: Who is there in the house?
Brinda: Mother / Father
Harish: How old are they?
Brinda: Father is 40-50. Mother is 30-35…she is wearing a check saree.
Harish: What is the discussion?
Brinda: No discussion.
Harish: What is making you leave the house?
Brinda: I am not leaving the house. I am leaving the village.
Harish: What is making you leave the village? Are you leaving alone or with your parents?
Brinda: I am going alone
Harish: What is making you leave the village?
Brinda: I am dissatisfied
Harish: About what?
There was a long silence.
Harish: What do you want to do?
Brinda: There is somebody else in the house.
Harish: Who is that?
Brinda: Some boy. My younger brother or sister…my younger brother.
Harish: So, are you not happy with him?
Brinda: No, he is not the issue.
Harish: So, what is the issue?
Brinda: My present life’s father is my father in that life. It is his place.
Harish: How is your relationship with him?
Brinda: Nothing close.
Harish: What about your mother?
Brinda: Nothing great.
Harish: Do you recognize her in this life?
Brinda: No.
Harish: Do you recognize your younger brother in this life?
Brinda: No.
Harish: What is making you leave the village?
Brinda: I don’t know
Harish: As I count from 3 to 1, it would become clear to you.
Brinda: I want better prospects.
Harish: Go forward to a significant event in that life. What is coming to your awareness? Where are you?
Brinda: I have come to a city…
Harish: What is the name of the city?
Brinda: Dusty roads.
Harish: Ask someone there the name of the city. Is there anyone around?
After a brief silence, Brinda said, “I don’t know anyone there.”
Harish: It is ok, you can ask them the name of the city.
Brinda:Ooru.
Many South Indian cities and towns have their names end with “Ooru“.
Harish: Which ooru?
Again after a long silence, she said, “Don’t know.”
I decided to move ahead, “Go forward to a significant event. Are you there? What is coming to your awareness?”
Brinda: There is a house.
Harish: Whose house?
Brinda: My house.
Harish: In the city?
Brinda: Yeah…I built my own house.
Harish: Go in and see who is there?
Brinda: Garden.
Harish: What else is there in the house?
Brinda: Cycle.
Harish: Is there anybody else staying with you in the house?
Brinda: I have a wife.
Harish: Do you recognise her in this life?
Brinda: No…I can’t see any face.
Harish: What do you call your wife?
Brinda: She wears a big bindi.
Harish: What do you call her?
There was a long silence.
Harish: What is your name?
Again there was a long silence.
Harish: Is there anything significant happening there in the house?
Brinda: No.
Harish: Then move ahead to a significant event. What is coming to your awareness?
Brinda: I am searching for something…something is lost.
Harish: What is lost?
There was a silence again. I wondered if she had drifted into any other lifetime.
Harish: Is it the same lifetime?
Brinda: Hmm…child.
Harish: Whose child?
Brinda: My child
Harish: Your child is lost?
Brinda: My wife is waiting at the gate.
Harish: What time is it?
Brinda: Evening…4-5-6 o clock.
Harish: What is happening?
Brinda: Looking for the child.
Harish: How old is the child?
Brinda: 4-5 years old.
Harish: Is it a son or a daughter?
Brinda: Son.
Harish: Go forward and see what happens?
Brinda: I don’t find the child…there is a lake…
Harish: What is happening near the lake?
Brinda: My child is dead (the grief of having lost the child could be heard in the crying voice and tears were running down Brinda’s cheeks). Realizing that his was quite painful, I suggested, “Float above and see what happened. How did the child die?”
Brinda: It died in the water.
Harish: How did it get into the water?
Brinda: We are bringing the child out.
Harish: How did the child drown in the water?
Brinda: While playing.
Harish: Is the lake near your house?
Brinda: Little far.
Harish: Did the child go there to play?
Brinda: Haaa…with friends.
Harish: Do you recognise the child in this life?
Brinda: No.
Harish: Go forward and see what happens?
Brinda: Very depressed.
Harish: Who is very depressed?
Brinda: Me and my wife.
Harish: How is the relationship between you and your wife?
Brinda: We have gone further away from each other.
Harish: What is the reason?
Brinda: Because of the child.
Harish: Is someone holding the other responsible for the death of the child?
Brinda: I hold her responsible.
Harish: Look at her again and see if you recognise her in this life?
Brinda: No.
Brinda was weeping now.
Harish: What is making you cry?
Brinda: She was negligent and I lost the child.
Harish: Go forward and see what happens?
Brinda: She is crying…she is saying she did not do anything…she is my daughter in this life…she is begging me not to accuse her…she didn’t know.
Harish: Go forward and see what happens.
Brinda: I am at another lake.
Harish: What are you doing there?
Brinda: Just sitting.
Harish: What is the significant event?
Brinda: My wife is gone.
Harish: Where?
Brinda: She died.
Harish: How?
Brinda: I don’t know
Harish: How old are you?
Brinda: 40-45 years.
Harish: Which country is this?
Brinda: India
Harish: Go back and see what happened to your wife. How did she die?
Brinda: She just died.
Harish: Was she with you?
Brinda: I had gone somewhere. When I came back she is gone. There are people standing.
Harish: What do you feel when you see her dead?
Brinda: Shocked.
Harish: How was your relationship with your wife before she died?
Brinda: It was ok…we both trust each other.
Harish: Do you have more children after the death of your son?
Brinda: No. She died very young.
Harish: How did she die?
Brinda: Heart failure.
Harish: Go forward to a significant event.
Brinda: I am at the lake.
Harish: What is happening at the lake?
Brinda: I sit there every day.
Harish: And do what?
Brinda: Just watch the water…feel so lonely…(sobbing)…there are steps…around the lake. There is a tree with red flowers.
Harish: What are you wearing?
Brinda: Panche. (White cloth wrapped around the waist to cover lower part of a man’s body, an attire famous in South India.)
Harish: Is there anything significant?
Brinda: No.
Harish: Go forward to significant event. What is coming to your awareness?
Brinda: Nothing.
Harish: Is there any other significant event?
Brinda: No.
Harish: Go forward to the time of your death. What is happening? How old are you?
Harish: 60-65…I am in the garden.
Harish: Is it the same house?
Brinda: Yeah.
Harish: What is happening there?
Brinda: I am dead (with a sigh).
Harish: How did you die?
Brinda: Just died.
Harish: What are the thoughts, regrets that you carry from that life?
There was a murmur and it was not clear.
Harish: What is the regret?
Brinda: I should have supported my wife.
Harish: Supported - in which way?
Brinda: Emotionally…after the child died…it wasn’t her fault…she so desperately needed me (crying)
Harish: What are the other thoughts?
She continued to sob. After some time, I asked, “What are the lessons from that life?
Brinda: Nothing is in our control…
Harish: What do you need to do now?
Brinda: Don’t accuse anyone…they are not responsible at all.
Harish: Do you want to go say sorry to your wife?
Brinda: Yes.
Harish: Ok, you will now be there with her. Do you see her?
She broke down and with a scream “Chinnamma.”
I asked, “Who is Chinnamma?”
Brinda: My wife.
Harish: Are you with her?
She continued to cry.
Harish: It is ok. Do you see her?
Brinda: She is in that house only.
Harish: You can hug her…show your love…seek forgiveness. What does she call you?
Brinda: She does not.
Harish: Ok. Seek forgiveness and let me know when you are done.
She continued to cry.
“Is she your daughter in this life?” I asked to re-confirm the relationship.
Brinda: Yes.
Harish: Has she forgiven you?
Brinda: She is also crying with me.
Harish: Spend some time with each other and let me know when you are comfortable to move on.
Brinda: She left.
Harish: Has she forgiven you?
Brinda: Yes.
Harish: Can you reflect now and see if this is the reason for you feeling lonely, facing abuse and not being accepted?
Brinda: Loneliness - yes.
Harish: Is there anything else?
Brinda: Accept.
Harish: Accept what?
Brinda: Accept life.
Harish: What is happening after your death? Float above.
Brinda: White light.
Harish: Do you feel good in the light?
Brinda: Yes.
Harish: Heal yourself there.
Brinda: Feeling relived to die.
Harish: Are you in the light?
Brinda: Yes.
Harish: Ask the light if there is anything else to review to get rid of the feeling of not being accepted.
There was silence.
Harish: What is the white light saying?
Brinda: I have to go somewhere.
Harish: As I count from 3 to 1, go there. Where are you?
Brinda: There is a road.
Harish: What is happening on the road?
Brinda: I am in a cart.
Harish: Is it the same lifetime or different one?
Brinda: Different.
Harish: What are you – a man, woman?
Brinda: Woman.
Harish: How old are you?
Brinda: 40-45
Harish: Where are you heading? Who else is there in the cart?
Brinda: Another lady.
Harish: Only two ladies in the cart?
Brinda: No
Harish: Who else is there in the cart?
Brinda: The man who is driving the cart.
Harish: Who is the other woman?
Brinda: She is wearing a purple saree.
Harish: Who is she? Do you recognise her in this life?
Brinda: I can see my mother-in-laws face.
Harish: How is she related in that life?
There was silence.
Harish: Where are you heading in the cart?
Brinda: Wedding.
Harish: Whose wedding is it?
Brinda: Someone’s wedding.
Harish: How are you related to the lady in the cart? What do you call her?
Brinda: I don’t know.
Harish: Is it day or night?
Brinda: Day.
Harish: Is there anything significant happening?
Brinda: No.
Harish: Then move forward to a significant event – go forward or backward. Where are you?
Brinda: She sold me.
Harish: Who is that lady?
Brinda: I don’t know.
Harish: Go back and see what is your relationship with that lady.
Brinda: She is my neighbour…not neighbour…she lives close by…not next door.
Harish: Is she older or younger to you?
Brinda: Older.
Harish: Don’t you have parents or anybody else at home?
Brinda: Yeah.
Harish: Who is there at home?
Brinda: My mother.
Harish: Do you recognize her in this life?
Brinda: No.
Harish: How old are you when she sells you?
Brinda: Early 20s.
Harish: Whom does she sell you to?
Brinda: Some man.
Harish: Does your mother know about it?
Brinda: Yes.
Harish: Who is this man? Do you recognize him in this life?
Brinda: No. He has a big moustache.
Harish: What happens after she sells you?
Brinda: He marries me.
Harish: Are you happy with him?
Brinda: No…I am in love with somebody else (crying).
Harish: Go back and see who you are in love with.
She continued to weep.
Harish: Go back in time when you are with him. Do you see him? Are you there?
Brinda: Yeah.
Harish: What does he do?
Brinda: He is a farmer.
Harish: What is he called?
Brinda: I don’t know.
Harish: Do you recognize him in this life?
Brinda: No.
Harish: Go forward to a significant event in that life.
Brinda: He comes to meet me.
Harish: Who – the lover?
Brinda: Yes.
Harish: Are you both still in love?
Brinda: Yes.
Harish: Are you in a relationship with him?
Brinda: No.
Harish: What is the reaction of your husband?
Brinda: They sold me to him to avoid me to be with him (lover)
Harish: What happens when he comes to meet you?
There was a very long silence.
Harish: What did they not like about him?
Brinda: He is not wealthy.
Harish: Is your husband wealthy?
Brinda: Yes.
Harish: What happens after you meet him?
Brinda: We don’t talk. He sees how unhappy I am and moves away. (She started crying again). He didn’t even fight for me…fight to marry me.
Harish: Go forward to a significant event and see what happens. What is coming to your awareness?
Brinda: My husband has died.
Harish: How old are you?
Brinda: 40-42
Harish: How old is your husband?
Brinda: 70-75
Harish: You were married to a very old man.
Brinda: He is wearing a khada, diamond ear-rings.
Harish: Which part of the world is this?
Brinda: South India.
Harish: What happens after he dies?
Brinda: I am looking after all the estate.
Harish: Where were you going in the cart with the woman who sold you?
She heard it as car and corrected me “It is not a car, it is a cart…horse cart.”
Brinda: She is taking me to get me married to this man.
Harish: But, how old are you?
Brinda: I am 20-22
Harish: And that woman?
Brinda: 40-45 (She had mentioned her age earlier)
Harish: Go forward to a significant event.
Brinda: I am looking after the fields and all.
Harish: Do you have children?
Brinda: No children. I never had a relationship with my husband.
Harish: Go forward to a significant event.
Brinda: The man I loved came back.
Harish: What happens after that?
Brinda: I don’t take him back…he has only come for money.
Harish: Go forward and see what happens.
Brinda: Kali temple…I am crying to her.
Harish: How old are you?
Brinda: After my husband died.
Harish: What is making you cry?
Brinda: I don’t have a life no. There is nothing to live.
Harish: Is there anything significant at the temple?
Brinda: No.
Harish: Go forward to significant event.
Brinda: I build that village. I helped it to grow.
Harish: In which way?
Brinda: Administration…they made me their leader.
Harish: What is your name?
Brinda: Chennamma.
Harish: What is the name of your village? Look into the administrative records. Are you able to read?
Brinda: No.
Harish: Ask someone there and they will tell you.
Brinda: Dasanpura.
Harish: Go forward to significant event.
Brinda: I give away everything to the village.
Harish: What happens after that?
Brinda: I am dead.
Harish: How did you die?
Brinda: Old age.
Harish: What are the emotions, regrets that you carry from that life?
Brinda: Frustration.
Harish: What are you frustrated about?
Brinda: I was forced against my will into marriage…they lied to me and took me from my mother’s house.
Harish: Whom are you are frustrated with?
Brinda: With myself…I couldn’t run away…I didn’t know what they were going to do…they lied and cheated me.
Harish: What else are you carrying from that life?
Brinda: Couldn’t trust anybody after that.
Harish: What are the lessons from that life?
Brinda: Don’t trust.
Harish: What is this life to do with you not being accepted in the present life?
Brinda: I don’t trust anyone.
Harish: What do you need to do now to feel accepted in this life?
Brinda: Accept them as they are.
Harish: Are there any other lessons?
Brinda: No.
Harish: Do you also want to forgive that lady who sold you?
Brinda: Yes.
Harish: Go to her and say whatever you want to and let me know when done.
After some time,
Harish: Are you able to forgive her? See if you wish to forgive her for what she has done in this life as your mother in law.
Brinda: She is blessing me.
Harish: It is nice that she is blessing you.
Brinda: She is saying sorry to me.
Harish: Are you ready to move on?
Brinda: Yes.
Harish: Float above and move back to the light. Ask the light if there is anything else that you need to visit.
Brinda: No.
It was close to 2 hours into the session and I wanted to know if she wanted to come out or explore the other theme. I asked, “Do you want to explore the financial stress theme?”
Brinda: Yeah.
We had already been through two lives, and I was surprised when she said she wanted to continue. It makes things simple when the client is co-operating well.
Harish: Ask the light to guide you in time to the root cause of the financial stress. What is coming to your awareness?
Brinda: I see a marwadi (Marwari). He is a pawn broker.
Harish: Where are you?
Brinda: I am standing in front of him
Harish: Are you a man – woman?
Brinda: Man
Harish: How old are you?
Brinda: 30…I have a moustache.
Harish: What is happening there?
Brinda: I have come for money…he is not giving me money.
Harish: Do you have anything to pledge?
Brinda: Nothing of value…my child is sick…I want money for the child’s treatment.
Harish: How old is your child?
Brinda: 3-4 years old.
Harish: What is wrong with the child?
Brinda: It is sick…I need medicines…many medicines…I am a forest dweller….Marwari didn’t give me money.
Harish: What happens after that?
Brinda: After he closed the shop, I broke into the shop…I took away his money…it was gold coins…I went home.
Harish: Who is there at home?
Brinda: My wife is there looking after the baby. It has high fever.
Harish: What happens after this?
Brinda: May be I killed the Marwari.
Harish: Go back and see what happened.
Brinda: I killed him.
Harish: When did you kill him?
Brinda: To take the money.
Harish: But he had closed the shop right? Or was he still in his shop?
Brinda: It (shop) is attached to his house.
Harish: Did he come there after you broke into his shop?
Brinda: Yes.
Harish: How did you kill him?
Brinda: With the arrow…he needed the money….he couldn’t give it to me…I didn’t know (he needed it).
Harish: Did you take away all his money?
Brinda: No, not all, only some.
Harish: What happened after that?
Brinda: He died…I didn’t know he dies…I came home to my child…they came behind me to take me.
Harish: Who came behind you?
Brinda: Authority…like police.
Harish: Where did they take you?
Brinda: Imprisoned me.
Harish: What happened to your child?
Brinda: I don’t know.
Harish: Don’t you see your child again?
Brinda: No.
Harish: Is your child sick when they take you away?
Brinda: Yes…that same night they took me away.
Harish: What happens at prison?
Brinda: I am there for many years.
Harish: What are you thinking while in prison?
Brinda: I killed the Marwari without knowing…I hit him….he died by mistake.
Harish: With the arrow?
Brinda: Spear…I hit him with a spear, it is not an arrow…on the neck…I hit his head…I was in rage that he did not give me the money…he died.
Harish: Go forward to significant event.
Brinda: I am alone in the prison…it is a dark room, underground, stone walls…I spend many years there.
Harish: Do you die there?
Brinda: No. I come out…Marwari is my husband in this life.
Harish: How many years later do you come out?
Brinda: Many years…I am old man.
Harish: How old are you?
Brinda: 55-60…I have grey hair on beard moustache.
Harish: What do you do after coming out?
Brinda: I look for my wife and child.
Harish: Do you recognise them in this life?
Brinda: No.
Harish: Do you find them?
Brinda: No.
Harish: What happens after that?
Brinda: I look everywhere…I go everywhere trying to find them…they have disappeared.
Harish: Go forward to significant event.
Brinda: That marwari has cursed me.
Harish: When?
Brinda: When he died.
Harish: What is the curse?
Brinda: I will never get his money…it is meant for somebody else…he wanted to give me the money the next day.
Harish: If there is nothing else go forward to significant event. If there is nothing significant, move to the time of your death.
Brinda: I am in the forest.
Harish: How old are you?
Brinda: 90
Harish: Do you find you wife and child?
Brinda: No.
Harish: Are you alone?
Brinda: Yeah.
Harish: What is happening?
Brinda: It is a hilly area…I slipped down the hill…and I died.
Harish: Did you die immediately or suffer for some time?
Brinda: I hurt myself everywhere…I hurt my ankles
Harish: What about you back, neck and body?
Brinda: All are hurt.
Harish: What are the regrets you carry forward from that life?
Brinda: That Marwari…
Harish: That Marwari is the regret?
Brinda: Yeah
Harish: Having killed him is the regret? What is the regret?
Brinda: I didn’t kill him…only hit him…he died by accident…he is angry with me…I didn’t do it purposely…he wanted to give that money to his lover…his wife was relived after he died.
Harish: His wife was relived?
Brinda: Hmm.
After coming out from trance, she explained that her husband in his earlier life as a Marwari had extra marital affair and was planning to take his wealth and run away with his girlfriend. This was the reason why his wife of that life was relived when he died.
Harish: Do you recognise his wife in this life?
Brinda: Yes. One my husband’s girl-friend in this life.
Harish: What are the regrets you carry?
Brinda: I want to say sorry to him.
Harish: Go ahead.
Brinda: He is dying…
Harish: You can be there and let me know when done. Are you with him? Are you able to tell him sorry?
Brinda: He has not accepted.
Harish: Try again. Go forward after his death and meet his soul and convey that you are sorry. Are you able to see him?
Brinda: He is with the white light.
Harish: Go ahead and tell him sorry. He may be more understanding there.
Brinda: That is why he made me suffer in this life…he wants to be with his girlfriend.
Harish: Are you willing to let go of him?
There was a long silence.
Harish: Is he accepting your sorry?
The silence continued.
Harish: What is happening?
Brinda: He is also saying sorry.
Harish: For what?
Brinda: He should have given me the money…he knew it was for the child.
Harish: Are you willing to forgive him?
Brinda: For what?
Harish: He is asking you sorry for not giving you the money. Are you willing to forgive him?
There was silence.
Harish: Has he forgiven you?
Brinda: He was forced to say no to me.
Harish: Who is forcing him?
Brinda: He had to say no to me for the money by his girlfriend, because she wanted the money.
Harish: Are you willing to forgive him now?
Brinda: I forgave him.
Harish: Has he forgiven you?
Brinda: Why should he forgive me?
Harish: For having hit him. Have you asked for forgiveness?
Brinda: Yes.
Harish: Have you both forgiven each other? Let me know when you are done.
After sometime, she said she is done.
Harish: Go back to the time of death after having fallen down. Are you carrying the pains and aches from that life?
Brinda: Yes… I have the fear of slipping.
This was something we had never discussed earlier. But, it was good that she was getting rid of this fear now.
Harish: What do you need to let go of the fear?
Brinda: Slipping is ok.
Harish: Go to the light now, and ask if there is anything else that you need to do to get rid of the financial stress.
Brinda: No.
After allowing her to heal in the white light, I guided her back. It was 8.30 pm by the time she was back from trance. We discussed the experience and the lessons. She had left her parents behind in the village in one of her lifetimes and in this life her father died early leaving her to face her difficult marriage. Her daughter in present life, loves her a lot and cares for her the most. The love which she had shown as Brinda’s wife in an earlier life. Her husband had left her with nothing except loans and this is what the Marwari had cursed at the time of his death that she would not have any of his wealth. I wondered at the power of the curse and left after asking her to meditate and notice the changes that come her way. She called few days later to say that while meditating she communicated with her late husband and both of them forgave each other. She was feeling a lot more relaxed and there were some positive enquires relating to her business.
It has been a year now and she reached out to me. She said it has been a year since the session and that her son is now married. Her daughter is heading back home in next few days. Financially the condition is better as she has now received funding for her business.
I reflected back on the difficult lessons from the lives we had explored.
- Nothing is in our control…Don’t accuse anyone…they are not responsible at all.
- Accept life. Accept them as they are (Trust or be lonely)
- Slipping is ok (nothing to fear)
This session was another pointer to me that the patterns keep repeating across multiple lifetimes till the lessons are learnt.
