Name: Mr Shashank
Gender: Male, Age: 28
Profession: IT
H: 6/10
Eye Roll: 2/4
VAK: [6,5,4]
Pain level Before Session: 6
Pain level after session: 3
Mr Shashank was my counselling client 11 years ago who came back recently as he was about to get married and was having quite a lot of apprehension about it. He was afraid of the future, constant thoughts of failure, and how things might go wrong. He feared that an incident which was not connected with him would be blamed on him. He lived in constant unexplained Guilt, fear, low self-esteem, and low self-worth.
September 23rd, we met for the first discussion where I introduced him to past life regression.
September 29th the first session of history taking was done.
The theme were fear of the future, fear of uncertainty, and guilt without any logic.
October 1st
Session 2 from 8 am to 9:30 am – Releasing negative and hurtful memories using the Box on Hill technique.
Session 3 from 9:45 am to 12:40 pm – Travelling back through multiple present life memories, exploring and understanding himself better.
Session 4 from 1:45 to 3:00 pm – Explored 2 Past lives and used the learning to heal the present.
Session 5 From 3:00 to 4:00 pm - The client drifted to a very peaceful sleep during deepening. After which Integration of learnings of the day was done.
Constant EMDR was done during various stages of high stress and anxiety filled moments
History of the Client
……………………………
Mr Shashank was born in the USA in 1997. He spent the first five years in the US and came to India in 2003.
He was made fun of in school because of his thick American accent and challenging time settling in with the new atmosphere. Eventually he made a few friends.
His dad was authoritative and would be angry and even hit him occasionally. He still remembers at age 3 or 4 his dad had yelled at him for not sleeping when going out in a car.
2006 to 2010 was an average childhood. There were high expectations from his dad. He was upset when Shashank got a C grade in mathematics. He would make sarcastic remarks for scoring low and would constantly compare Shashank to his cousin.
Mr Shashank discovered at an early age that marks mattered more than learning for the elders, so he would even resort to cheating to get good grades so that he would be allowed to play.
Shashank was highly creative in his early childhood which diminished with pressure on traditional education.
2010 onwards his dad was travelling, and his mom put him into tuitions. Tuitions didn’t help either.
He was blanking out during exams, marks continued to be bad, and his playtime was cut short. He was teased for being fat. He still remembers being humiliated by the PE teacher for his weight.
2010 to 2015 was a turbulent time. Mathematics was always an issue. The big turning point was when he failed the 9th exam, mom was called to school and was yelled at by the principal. Mom was in tears. He scored 96 in the re-exam, but the damage was done. He was asked to leave school after the 10th; thus, he moved to another school. A girl rejected his proposal as he was fat in his 11th grade, so determined he started working out. Interestingly, he lost a lot of weight in 11th grade and his studies improved. He got close to his cousin as a close friend for some time to a point that his other relatives started believing they were a couple, eventually they drifted apart with time.
He wanted to go back to the USA. This was discouraged by his father, but he wrote exams to get into American colleges and got through one. After going to the USA, the struggle continued for one year, after which the next 3 years were a breeze. These 3 years were filled with fun, laughter, college drama, and good friendship.
At the age of 22, he started noticing the underlying anxiety. He couldn’t internalize that he had cleared his degree for 3 months. For the next 3 months, he lived in a state of confusion and fantasy, repeatedly downloading the degree every day to assure himself that he had graduated.
He got a job in the USA in a Tier 3 City. During Covid, he was asked by his company to move to another location for a lower salary. He denied the request and the next 3 months were incredibly stressful as his company ensured he had a tough time. The emails to relocate were a constant trauma for him, to the point of trauma. The word relocate would trigger anxiety in him even to this day. He was asked to leave finally.
He came back to India during Covid. He wanted to do his masters and even got 316/340 in the GRE exam, yet he was not confident. He spent some time volunteering with his mom.
He was getting anxious to enrol himself into any job he may find. He felt they would anyway not hire him, so what was the point? The fear of being rejected, and the word relocate, kept playing in his mind. He was asked by his dad to work on a project which belonged to his dad’s friend for 2 years, which did help him gain back his confidence.
He did mention how his guilt made him do irrational things. For example, a circular from his college alumni group requesting alumni not to post any old assignments in forums was taken very seriously by him. They had sent this circular so the new students wouldn’t copy the assignments, but it triggered his guilt to a point where he would compulsively check in every forum if he had uploaded any assignments and would request admins to remove them.
He had a constant feeling that he had to be following the rules and had a feeling of being judged by parents and society.
2023 was his best year where he went out with his friends for foreign trips with a lot of bonding and laughter, to France, Switzerland, Costa Rica, etc.
Through his life he had this feeling of being judged especially by his dad, a constant feeling that every move of his was judged.
He has been recently engaged with a beautiful girl with a wonderful nature. He now has a fear if things don’t work out well if his overthinking and anxiety ruin the relationship. He was impulsively thinking of all the things which could go wrong and its best for both to break the relationship.
The client had a strong analytical mind which doubted and questioned everything, causing him to overthink every situation. Even during his journey to my studio, he would think of multiple things which can go wrong.
A lot of patience was needed as he had a lot of programming of the subconscious which he had been through by his father and other relations and teachers who had made a significant impact on his life and thought process.
His mom has always been incredibly supportive and compassionate and more like an elder sister; he would also tease her occasionally with his brother.
8 am to 9:30 am, October 1st, 2025
Session 2: Beta to Alpha.
Used progressive relaxation and ball of light for first induction. I felt that a lot of patience might be needed as he may take time to go deeper into trance. His life journey has been of constant programming which has affected his beliefs. He was clearly visual, and in the first session it was clear that his feelings and emotions were suppressed. His conscious mind had become numb to various emotions for his own protection.
We started the session at 8 am as he had multiple present-life painful memories. I went ahead with induction into hypnosis, guiding him into the garden of peace. Later I asked him to go to the top of the hill and look at the ocean. I asked him to check his entire life slowly in stages for all the negative memories and place them in a box. He could not recall any negative memories at these moments, as if the mind was not letting him go deep enough with all the doubts. It was clear that he could not go deep into trance yet; he was mostly at Beta and slowly moving into Alpha waves. He did feel much more relaxed than earlier, and his constant thoughts had reduced.
Session 3: From Alpha to Theta .
After some discussion and reassurance that we were making progress, the client was induced again. This time I asked him to visualize multiple objects and see if he could engage all his senses—like a fruit, car, etc. I asked him to explore the colour, feel, smell, and taste.
I saw he was getting more relaxed and at ease and started exploring his happy memories. Initially I kept it non-directional to let any images come on their own. The client mentioned that he would see things like a movie in a dreamlike state, like fantasy or old comedy movies, and he would identify himself with the character in these dreams.
Asked him to travel back to his happier memories:
Client: I see myself in Nepal having an enjoyable time with friends, watching the Annapoorna range. I was mesmerized by the beauty. We were constantly taking pictures, drinking lemon tea. I was 27.
(Moved him further back for another happy memory)
Client: I am back in the US, I see my favourite running track, evening time, sun is setting, very beautiful, watching the bridge, it felt very peaceful.
(Moving back a bit more)
Client: 2023 Summer, me and friends went on a college trip to Europe. It was great: beautiful buildings, treats, lots of chatting. Yet part of the mind was still restless and worried that he had to go back to work after the vacation, if his job was still stable, not able to fully enjoy those moments.
(Moving back a bit more)
Client: I saw my grandparent in the US, I was living upstairs, I can see a table, L shaped sofa table (age 26).
(Moving back a bit more)
Client: I am in the sick room in school, looking at a cabinet and imagining that a beautiful world would be on the other side (like Harry Potter or Narnia). This door was a portal to another dimension.
(To unlock his subconscious, I went ahead and asked him to open the door)
Client: There is another building, it has a secret floor, it’s a golden place, magical realm, like those Japanese houses, there are pipes in these rooms, it’s exciting and fun. This is a portal into a whole new dimension.
Client: I am on the top floor in my old school, I am Spiderman, at the opposite building I see a girl who I knew, she is Spiderwoman.
(Client went blank after some time)
(Moving back a bit more)
Client: I am walking on a street, looking down, there are food carts, it’s crowded, I am back to my running spot in the US, I am staring at the water.
(Moving back a bit more)
Client: I am at my cousin’s house, the living room: We are watching a TV show, lights are off. I can see a green duffel bag.
(Moving back a bit more)
Client: I am in London, in a British pub with friends.
(Moving back a bit more)
Client: I am looking at a photo of me and my friend we took in Paris, I am standing and smiling at the photo.
Client: I see myself in a room, I don’t know whose room this is, I can see between the curtains, a coffee table, sofa of Victorian era, the room is empty, a notepad and pen. (Blank after that)
(Moving back to the youngest memory)
Client: Age 5, I am in the US, near a pizza place, me and 2 of my friends who were my dad’s friend’s children. I see myself getting down from the car. I remember asking Dad that I want to see the airport. He got angry and started shouting. After which I asked a question to my parents—“Do you guys even love me?” “You are shouting because you don’t love me.” I was deeply hurt.
Client: Age 8 – We were sitting and having lunch, while talking about cars which we wanted to buy. I suggested Dad get a certain car, for which he became angry and started shouting. I was deeply hurt and left the food and went away.
Client: Grade 2: Two boys got into a fight amongst themselves and scratched each other during the fight, they blamed me for their bruises and scratches. The teacher too didn’t believe me and blamed me. I felt very lonely with no support.
Client: Grade 9: The Art teacher blamed me for something I didn’t do and sent me to the principal’s office. The principal too didn’t believe me. I was punished to stay back and finish the art project. I was so angry at the art teacher that day.
………………………………………
Theme 1: Fear of future/uncertainty
Theme 2: Unexplained Guilt
…………………………………………
Session 4: Alpha to Theta
Theme 1: Fear of future/uncertainty
Client went under hypnosis and was asked to drift into the earliest memory which connected him to the fear of the future.
Client: It’s blank.
(Continued pyramiding and relaxed him even further)
Client: I see rice paddy fields, I see a man dusting a cloth.
(Continued pyramiding and relaxed him even further)
Client: I see a living room, I see three ladies, an old cot-like sofa. I see an old man sitting in front of a box TV.
Client: The man looks like my mom’s father.
Therapist: What was their attire?
Client: Grandpa was wearing a lungi; ladies were wearing sarees.
(Continued pyramiding and relaxed him even further)
Therapist: Can you tell me more about what you see?
Client: This is a village.
Client: I now see a room full of toys; this was my room in America. A lot of stuffed animals.
Client: I see myself in the US as a toddler, at the door, which is open. I am scared.
Client: I am scared that mom will go away, and I fear what might happen to me.
Therapist: Why do you feel she might run away?
Client: She keeps telling me that she wants to run away.
(Continued pyramiding and relaxed him even further, with stress management)
Client: I now see myself in a dark room looking at the rotating things at the top of me.
Client: Age 2: I hear some old voice saying that she will keep me, you leave the child here and go, the voice is not my parent but someone I can’t recognise.
Client: I felt they would leave me and go. I feel the fear and the anxiety growing.
(Continued pyramiding and relaxed him even further, with stress management)
Client: I am in a hospital room, I see a bright tube light-lit room with curtains, empty bed, I see wires connected to me.
(The client later revealed that he was on a ventilator when he was born and it took his lungs two days to function properly.)
(Continued pyramiding and relaxed him even further, with stress management)
(Client was blank for some time, gave him time to digest what he saw)
(Continued pyramiding and relaxed him even further, with stress management)
Fear of Failure
(Continued pyramiding and relaxed him even further, with stress management)
Client: I am sitting with my dad; it was 1st or 2nd grade. I am crying for making mistakes.
Client: I feel an overwhelming feeling of Dad and society saying that you will never progress. If you fail, don’t tell me that I didn’t warn you. Don’t try, take the safe route.
Client: I don’t deserve the things I got. I was born rich, privileged, I always had help.
(Continued pyramiding and relaxed him even further, with stress management)
Therapist: Is it true? Were there things you did on your own?
Client: Yes, I did run a half marathon, and I was so happy.
Therapist: Can you tell me more examples which make you feel that you deserve success?
Client: Yes, the way I worked and got into college.
(Client went through few more memories and slowly went to a pause)
(I saw the client’s faith needed to get stronger, so I asked him to go to the Temple of faith through guidance.)
Imaging yourself floating on a soft cloud slowly drifting deeper.
You find this cloud taking you to a distant place on top of a mountain, you find yourself in front of a temple.
Therapist: how does the temple look like?
Client: It beautiful, I see people walking around. The area is huge lot of activities.
Therapist: Let’s go to one of the chambers in this temple where you shall visit your favourite deity.
Therapist: open the door and tell me what you see.
Client: I see a dark cave like place, and I see Lord hanuman sitting peacefully smiling in a meditative pose.
Therapist: How do you feel in his presence.
Client: I feel peaceful, confident, strong.
Therapist: Would you like to stay with him for a while?
Client: Yes.
Therapist: Good, stay as long as you wish to, he is blessing you with a golden light cleansing you from all doubt and negativity. On Peace, confidence and strength shall remain.
(Have him few mins)
Therapist: If you want to ask any questions, please ask.
Client: Yes, I am, yet he just smiles with a gesture saying all is happening for good.
Therapist: All right, shall we move ahead?
Client: Yes.
(Understanding that his faith has multiplied in the presence of Lord hanuman, I used his name and blessings going forward helping the client to go deeper into trance and was able to recall much more than before)
Therapist: Lord Hanuman has blessed you with a golden portal which shall lead you to the core reason for your unexplained guilt.
Gold Portal:
(Continued pyramiding and relaxed him even further, with stress management)
Client: I see a chariot, with tiger, wolf sculptures, people are throwing flowers on these sculptures.
Therapist: Where do you see this to be?
Client: This can be somewhere in Europe.
Therapist: Can you see what you are wearing?
Client: I see my reflection on a puddle, wearing white silhouette, all white, a crown, wooden slippers.
Client: I also see a woman, could be my wife. We are from a noble background.
(Continued pyramiding and relaxed him even further)
Therapist: Can you go further back to the earlier dinner?
Client: I see people laughing, eating, dancing.
Client: I think I am a womanizer, I am not a good person.
Therapist: Why do you feel so?
Client: I am with a different woman now, not my wife.
Client: What is your profession?
Client: I am a sculptor by profession; I made those tiger and wolf sculptures.
Client: The woman is wearing an amulet I presented her.
Client: I wasn’t a good person; I stabbed and killed my wife with a knife to get her away from my life.
Client: I am sent to prison; I am filled with guilt.
Client: I was in my late 20s when I was sent to prison, I died in my old age, full of guilt and regret.
Client: This was a rural area; I was very handsome.
Client: All my life in prison I repeated the scene of killing my wife with guilt, asking myself why?
Therapist: What was the significant learning for you from this lifetime which you can take?
Client: I was fearful and afraid of myself, what wrong things I can do.
Therapist: Let’s go back to Lord Hanuman shall we and ask for his forgiveness and blessings?
Client: Yes, he is blessing me, he has taken all my weight of guilt for himself and let me free.
Therapist: Wonderful, if there are any traces of guilt you may be carrying or anything else, please drop it there.
(Moving on)
Therapist: Lord Hanuman has blessed you with a blue portal which shall lead you to the core reason for your fear of an uncertain future.
Blue portal:
Client: I see the paddy field again, I can’t see who I am
Client: I am a woman in a village, red lehenga, about to be a bride.
Client: I could be 16 years old, a school going child walking somewhere.
I am in a room; I am poor but happy-go-lucky.
This could be South India; I see army planes flying.
Client: A man with a camera is shooting my pictures, I don’t like him.
He is walking around fixated on me,
He does look creepy. I am afraid he will do something.
(Continued pyramiding and relaxed him even further, with stress management)
(Client move to another lifetime)
Client: I am in the living room again with three women, the old man is sick. Three women are fat.
The women are giggling.
Client: Dinner - The old grandpa, me and someone else are at dinner.
That someone is my brother and he is not a happy person, always upset.
(Continued pyramiding and relaxed him even further, with stress management)
Client: I am back to being the village girl, the guy is a photographer taking my photos for marriage.
I was married to an old man; I was extremely uncomfortable.
Client: Even though the old man took care of me and was very polite, I died peacefully.
I was constantly in a tug of war with two thoughts: angry about having no control over my life and being happy with what I have and not caring much.
Therapist: What was the learning from this lifetime you would carry to the present lifetime?
Client: Be more upfront about what I want.
(Continued pyramiding and relaxed him even further, with stress management)
Therapist: Shall we go back to Lord Hanuman?
( We took a break, had a few discussions and went ahead with last one hour to go to a point of absolute peace and integrate the learning)
Client: I want to drop all the present lifetime limitations, especially the feeling of being judged by my father and society. I want to be free from unnecessary thoughts.
Therapist: Great, lets close our eyes.
Imagine yourself floating out of the bed you are on now and moving higher and higher, floating above, moving out of this building you are able to see yourself on the bed and the building, moving further a hear you see the entire area, you can no see the yourself floating even further to be able to see the entire city. And continuing to be able to see the entire south India, the entire country, you find yourself out of the planet looking at the whole planet from a distance, standing on the moon.
Therapist: Tell me all your life, the family , friends, your profession and you worries are this blue planet. Do you feel they can bother you now?
Client: No, they are so far.
Therapist: Let’s continue our journey further out of the solar system and further away from our milky way galaxy, flying through space to a distant planet away.
Therapist: This is a beautiful planet with a lot of oxygen and energy which is energising you, you can sit under a tree where you are able to meditate peacefully.
Client: Yes, this is very peaceful.
Therapist: you can come here and stay as much as you want.
( Client was very peaceful, he drifted off to very peaceful sleep)
The client mentioned he had one of the most peaceful sleeps and his thoughts have reduced significantly.
Recommendation:
The Client was advised to go back to the blissful state and stay there as a practice,
He has learnt shambhavi mudra and Sudarshan kriya earlier.
He would be continuing to do these practices to stay in this calm state and further improve his meditation.