Solo Me vs Public Me: Inner Voice vs LinkedIn Voice 😉

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So there I was, replying to a forum post, being calm and composed, when life happened. I left my laptop unattended for two minutes.

Enter my Gen Z kid!

When I returned, I was greeted with an apology, a confession, and a look after going through a few of my online replies.

He goes,

“What is HO?”

I said, very earnestly,

“It stands for humble opinion.”

He stared at me. Rolled his eyes-

“HUMBLE opinion?”

“Excuse me?”

“Who are you and what did you do to my mother?”

“Where is she?”

Apparently, I Have a Public Personality!

In my mind, I was just being polite. Measured. Civilized. According to my child, I was committing character assassination on myself.

This is when my inner conversation began.

Do I really sound like this in public? Am I out here saying “In my humble opinion” like a monk with Wi-Fi? Since when did I become… kind?

At home I have opinions, strong and loud ones. Delivered unfiltered and unannounced :wink:

But in public?

“Just sharing a thought”

“Respectfully adding”

“Open to all perspectives”

The Two Versions of Me Have Been Identified

There is:

HOME ME- direct, sarcastic, emotionally efficient

PUBLIC ME- graceful, balanced, possible wearing linen :wink:

To him, “humble opinion” didn’t sound like wisdom.

It sounded like identity theft.

This realization hits hard. Why do we soften in public?

Why do we become the emotional equivalent of “no offense, but…”?

Because apparently, when others are watching, we activate Public Relations Mode.

At home, I’m a person.

In public, I’m a brand.

And my kid?

He just reminded me—very lovingly that my brand is suspiciously polite.

Ever noticed how you’re a philosopher, singer, and life-coach when alone but the moment someone walks in, you turn into a socially acceptable, slightly muted version of yourself?

Alone, you’re bold. You dance like rent is free. You rehearse arguments you’ll never have. You give Oscar-worthy interviews to imaginary hosts.

When you’re alone, there’s no surveillance. No judgment. No performance review. You talk to yourself out loud. You laugh at jokes you just thought of. You eat straight from the container like a rebel. You feel deeply, think freely, and express dramatically. This version of you is raw, unfiltered, and emotionally fluent.

Why? Because there’s no one to impress. No one to explain yourself to. No one to manage.

In solitude, you are not a brand—you are a being.

Now introduce people.

Suddenly, posture improves. Tone changes. Vocabulary gets formal. You smile more. You nod at things you don’t agree with. You pretend to be “fine” while your soul is composing a three-page monologue. This isn’t hypocrisy. This is social intelligence. Humans evolved in tribes. Being accepted meant survival. So your brain learned to ask, at lightning speed:

“Is this safe to say?”

“Will this make me look weird?”

“Should I laugh now?”

Your personality goes through a quick edit, like Instagram, but emotional.

The difference between alone-you and public-you is the presence of the Inner Editor.

When alone, the editor is on vacation. When others are around, the editor clocks in early, brings coffee, and says:

“Okay, let’s not say that.”

“Tone it down.”

“Be likable.”

“Don’t overshare. Again.”

This editor isn’t evil. It’s protective. It’s trying to help you belong. But sometimes… it overdoes it.

So Which One Is the “Real” You?

Both are real.

You are not fake in public.

You are not dramatic in private.

You are CONTEXTUAL.

Just like water becomes ice or steam depending on temperature, you adapt to emotional climates. That’s not inauthentic, that’s human.

The issue only arises when the gap becomes too wide:

When public-you feel like a costume. And private-you feel like the only place you can breathe

That’s when exhaustion enters.

Growth isn’t about becoming the same everywhere.

It’s about letting some of your private honesty leak into public life.

Maybe:

Saying “ I don’t know” without apologizing

Laughter a lil louder

Pausing before auto-agreeing

Letting silence exist without filling it

You don’t need to perform authenticity. You just need to stop hiding it so aggressively.

You act differently alone and around others not because you’re fake, but because you’re aware. And awareness is power… as long as it doesn’t turn into a prison. So the next time you notice your personality switching modes, smile and think- ah yes, the human software is adjusting to its environment.”

Totally normal.

Slightly hilarious.

Very you.

Also, don’t leave your laptop unattended :wink:

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