Client: P, Female, Age: 49, Married
Hypnotisability Score: 5/10 | Eye Roll Score: 2/4
Dominant Sense VAK: 3/11/1
Pain Level Before: 9 & Pain Level After: 4
Therapist: T Client: C
Theme: “I want to know, why can’t I be myself, why I am always shadowed by someone and eclipsed by others”
Session 1 (steps 1 to 9) (IMR was taken)
P initially came with two issues
- fear of driving.
- Having a tough relationship with a twin sister, who tries to overpower the client.
History:
Client (P) has a twin sister. A few months after birth P was given for adoption to a close family member as they did not bear children. The twin sister stayed with the biological parents. The client has three siblings twin sister, elder sister and elder brother. The client grew up and stayed with their adopted parents till the adopted parents passed away. P’s mother was very hard on her, P was beaten up multiple times. P’s grandmother took care of her and made food for her. Her adoptive parents would keep travelling to a nearby village often and P was left behind with her paternal grandmother. P feels Dad was born to just please the mom, he was always on mom’s side. After the grandmother expired, P grew up doing a lot of household chores and learned cooking and everything at a very young age. At 5 or 6th grade, the client was aware that she was adopted, she often met her biological parents and siblings as they were a closely knit family.
Eventually client got married to her husband (also a family member) and the client was told that she could move to a different city and live with her husband. At the age of 24, like any other girl client was very happy and believed she would live happily hereafter with her husband in her home. However, situations turned out to be different. A few months after the marriage client had to live with her adoptive parents along with her husband. She said later she found out that her parents wanted to stay with her forever. Situations were built that way and the client along with her husband lived with her adoptive parents till they passed away. Husband developed a very good bond with his in-laws (as he lost his parents at a very young age. Once again the story repeated, client was never first for husband, it was her adoptive parents. They would not go out on any vacation thinking of their parents, even if they go husband would worry about inlaws and wanted to come back soon. Client birthed a boy, again she was only allowed to feed the child, then her mother would take care of the child. Client felt she was neither allowed to have a nice love life nor motherhood. It so happened that client’s anniversary and her adoptive parents anniversary were the same, so even her anniversary was all about how to celebrate her parents’ anniversary. P’s words were like I have been shadowed always, something like an eclipse comes and covers me always (these were the words, which had the most charge in the entire conversation).
Then we spoke and discussed about the fear of driving. She says she learned driving has a license too but cannot drive, she has a huge fear of losing her life if she drives or lands up in a critical accident. As of today, she has a driver and all in place. So, when I asked her what makes her bother about not driving. She says that she has to be dependent on someone always and she cannot be free. She feels paralyzed as she has to ask someone to drive her and that makes herfeel paralyzed ( I felt, even here the deep feelings are bottling down to the same pattern that she has to be shadowed by someone even for driving, which bothered her since her birth)
Then we discussed about troubled relationship with the twin sister. It was a similar dynamic, where the elder (twin) sister would make sure that she got all the attention, no matter what and the client feels small. By now I understand, that this is something the client has been facing since a very young age, with mother, sister and eventually even husband. Though her husband is an amazing man, he was more concerned for his inlaws, and the client felt that she was unimportant.
The client felt the same when she realized that she was given up for adoption, she wondered why was she not important to her biological parents.
After this long conversation, I asked her, what is it that she wants to explore through PLR.
She said, “I want to know, why can’t I be myself, why I am always shadowed by someone and eclipsed by others” (this was very intense and had a lot of charge).
So we finalized this theme.
Session 2
Dave Elman, Progressive relaxation, Ball of light (client chooses a sky blue client), staircase, Garden
Happy moments and closures
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