Client: P, Female, Age: 49, Married
Hypnotisability Score: 5/10 | Eye Roll Score: 2/4
Dominant Sense VAK: 3/11/1
Pain Level Before: 9 & Pain Level After: 4
Therapist: T Client: C
Theme: “I want to know, why can’t I be myself, why I am always shadowed by someone and eclipsed by others”
Session 1 (steps 1 to 9) (IMR was taken)
P initially came with two issues
- fear of driving.
- Having a tough relationship with a twin sister, who tries to overpower the client.
History:
Client has a twin sister but was given for adoption to a close family member shortly after birth. She grew up with her adoptive parents, enduring physical abuse from her adoptive mother, while her paternal grandmother provided care. P became aware of her adoption in 5th or 6th grade but maintained contact with her biological family, as they were closely knit.
At 24, P married a relative and moved in with her husband but soon returned to live with her adoptive parents. Her husband formed a strong bond with them, prioritizing their needs over P’s, which mirrored her earlier experiences of being overshadowed by others. P’s adoptive parents overshadowed her relationship with her husband and even her motherhood, as her mother controlled her child’s upbringing. This dynamic extended to significant life events, such as anniversaries, which revolved around her adoptive parents.
P feels consistently overshadowed, describing it as living in an eclipse. This pattern of feeling insignificant began with her biological parents, extended to her twin sister (who commanded attention), and later manifested in her marriage. Though her husband is caring, his priority for her adoptive parents left her feeling unimportant.
P also struggles with a fear of driving, despite having a license. Her dependence on others for mobility parallels her lifelong experience of being overshadowed and restricted.
After this long conversation, I asked her, what is it that she wants to explore through PLR.
She said, “I want to know, why can’t I be myself, why I am always shadowed by someone and eclipsed by others” (this was very intense and had a lot of charge).
So we finalized this theme.
Session 2
Dave Elman, Progressive relaxation, Ball of light (client chooses a sky blue client), staircase, Garden
Happy moments and closures
Session 3
Cliff, reframing and PLR
T: What comes to your awareness?
C: It’s the time of kings and kingdoms. There is a big door and two small doors. I entered that big door, but everything is so dry. There is so much of life happening, but I don’t know, I’m so lost. It’s not a rich place, but then it is very old times, people are working. Then there are children moving, women moving. It’s all soil and mud. And I’m just entering. There are horses, people are riding horses. There are carts, and shops. I can see a small girl hiding behind a door.
T: Do you know her? (Client was silent)
T: See into her eyes. Is she someone from this life? Is she familiar?
C: I don’t know, maybe she’s like me, or maybe a friend of mine.
T: Look down at your feet. What are you wearing?
C: There is payal, wearing the traditional lehenga blouse. That’s me.
T: How old are you?
C: Seven….eight.
T: What do people call you? What is your name? (Her expression was as if she was not clear and she was silent)
T: What are you doing here?
C: I’m just waiting for someone.
T: Can you see around? What else is happening around you?
C: I’m left here and I’m waiting for someone to come and pick me up.
T: Who left you there? Are you aware of it?
C: Maybe my parents.
T: Just go back a few moments before from here. Before your parents left you there. And get an impression of what was happening.
C: They’re going on some work. Looks like my mom is pregnant. They’re going on a bullock cart.
T: Are you with them?
C: No, they are leaving me here because it’s better for me to stay back. They’re going on some work.
T: Is there anyone with you to take care of you?
C: That’s some relative’s house. But I don’t see anybody. Everybody is very far off. I’m only sitting in the corridor of the house. Waiting, because I like this market outside and the happening outside.
T: Are your parents familiar? And see if you know them in this lifetime. Look at your mother.
T: See into her eyes. Do you know her?
C: She looks like my adoptive mother.
T: Look at your father. Look into his eyes.
C: I can’t see his face. He’s like… (client goes silent)
T: What is happening now?
C: I just have the vision of them leaving.
T: Yeah.
T: I’ll count 3 to 1. On the count of 1, go to the another significant moment from this lifetime. 3… 2… 1…
Go to another significant event.
T: What comes to your awareness?
C: I’m in my grandparent’s house and there’s so much celebration happening. It’s the birth of a younger sibling. And everyone is very happy. There’s so much of Galata happening around. It’s a very nice space.
T: And how are you feeling there?
C: I’m happy. I’m getting to meet a lot of people. I’m very happy.
T: Yeah…you are very happy with all the celebrations and people around you.
I’ll count 3 to 1. And on the count of 1, go to another significant event from this lifetime. 3….2… 1… What comes to your awareness?
C: Everything is so blank. I can’t see anything.
T: Yeah. That’s okay. No problem at all
C: It also feels like…. I am like….
C: It’s a well, kind of a place.
I’m inside the well or something. Like I can’t see anything. Suddenly around me, there is this kind of silence and darkness.
T: Yeah… You are in a well and it’s all silent and dark there.
Go back to the last few minutes of this lifetime. At the time of your death. What comes to your awareness?
C: I don’t know. I’m playing, running, hopping. I’m playing.
C: Oooh! (a loud tone)
Looks like I slipped and fell into something. I don’t know… but why would I? (confused)
T: That’s okay. Everything might become clear eventually. Just stay here.
You slipped and fell into… where did you fall?
C: It looks like a well. I don’t know.
T: You fell into a well?
C: Yeah… but there’s nobody around. I’m all alone. Nobody even notices I’m missing.
T: How old are you when you fell into the well?
C: Seven… eight years old.
T: Hmm… What happens when you’re inside the well? Are you looking for help?
C: I’m in shock. I don’t know what to do. There’s nobody around.
T: What are you doing inside the well?
C: Crying for help.
T: Is there water?
C: Yes.
I’m trying to stay afloat, but I’m not able to. I think I’m giving up.
I just can’t do anything… (distressed)
T: It’s okay. This happened in the past. Easy… relax… (gives time)
T: Go back to the moment when you died. What comes to your awareness?
C: I’m just there, dead in the water.
T: What happens after your death?
C: Someone realizes… they’re searching. They found me.
Yeah… they’re bringing me out.
Nobody feels sorry or guilty. They’re worried about my mom now.
T: Hmm… what is the worry about your mom?
C: Since she has another child, they tell her it’s okay, to leave it.
T: And then what happens? What happens with your body? Maybe you can float above and see.
C: There’s grief, but they just want to move on.
T: What makes them move on?
C: There’s another child, a smaller one, who’s more important.
T: Hmm… What is your mother doing?
C: She wants to cry but can’t. She feels helpless because she has to care for the other child.
T: Hmm… And your father?
C: He’s not around. Maybe he’s away on business or trading.
T: Where are you now?
C: I’m neither in my body nor elsewhere. I can see… I’m trying to find myself.
T: What were your thoughts when you left your body?
C: A small mistake cost my life. (client is a perfectionist in this life)
T: Hmm… Is there any learning from this life?
Where are you now? Do you sense anyone’s presence?
C: I’m in a garden. I can’t place it, but Reiki ma’am is there.
I’m telling her what happened.
T: What does she say?
C: She says it’s okay, she’s there for me…
She says my role ended in that life, and I had to move on.
T: What did you carry from that life to this one?
C: The fear of making mistakes. I slipped and fell, and I might do it again.
T: What do you need to let go of this fear?
C: I need to feel safe and supported.
T: And what can help you feel safe?
C: Good judgment, patience, balance, ease, and someone to be there for me.
T: Why do you feel you need someone?
C: I’m not sure.
T: That’s okay. Are you ready to move ahead or want to stay here?
C: I don’t know why I feel like I sacrificed my life.
T: Let’s go back to just before you slipped into the well. On the count of 3 to 1… 3…2…1.
Go back to that moment. What happened?
C: Everyone was happy about having a male child. I felt disregarded. Even though I didn’t want to die, it was an accident.
I felt I wasn’t needed or important because they wanted a boy.
T: What made you feel that way?
C: Everyone was gossiping.
I don’t want to go further it’s scary
T: It’s okay…. Nothing to worry, that happened in past, nothing can come closer to you. You are safe, relax ………… easy……
Remember you are also protected by blue bubble of light ( client choose blue light during Ball of light)
On the count of 3 to 1, get an impression of what is scary,
3… 2… 1….
C: there was fire accident, people are running
T: what happens next
C: I don’t have energy to run, I am stuck somewhere, no one sees me everyone is just running to save their life
T: maybe you could go to the last stage of this life, just before your death…
What might have happened
C: I caught fire and I died (she sounds very tired)
T: yaa…. Yaaaaa…. I can feel your exhaustion. Remember this happened in past and you don’t have to go through it again, just see from distance… Breath … relax… breath… relax
C: Also, there is so much about the weight I carry from that life (we did not discuss anything about weight issues during history taking, but I was aware client was on the heavier side at some stage of life)
T: hmm…. How were you in that life?
C: I was very lean… Then I feel nice in this heavy and cozy body
T: What was it with being lean? What made you feel that you need to be heavy?
C: It’s just fear around me
T: Fear of?? ……………… (pause)
C: fear of getting lost
T: where did you get lost?
C: I wanted to be seen, if somebody would have seen me, they would have protected me
T: you were lean, lost in fire accident, died in fire accident, and you believed that you need weight to be seen… Does that make sense ?
C: hmmm…… yes
T: So, this was the weight that you carried in this life time
C: yes… But I don’t need it now
T: Yes… Exactly
What might help you to shed this weight and to shed that fear of not being seen
C: I think it was only my assumption.
T: and our assumption, doesn’t have to be our reality
C: I can show up in beautiful ways
T: yes
Can you float above and see
C: everybody is running and no one is even seeing for me, they are running for their life, I felt stuck, I could not call them (Son and husband, she told after the session, that in this life she feels son and husband are one team and she is distant), as that might put them in danger. So, I gave up
T: Was there anything else that you could have done
C: I could have trusted and tried
T ya…. Ya … ya
What could be the learning in this life?
C: I can see how I can slip off, when I feel that I am not taken care/
T: is there anything that you can do so that you don’t slip off and take care of yourself?
Long pause……
Relax Relax, breath, you can choose to relax…
T: Where are you now?
C: I am in the clouds…
T: Is there anyone else who came to meet you or see you
Relax, easy…
C: I can see a couple of angels, Ogy(her pet dog) is there, Ogy is in a different form. A black terrier dog. (in this life Ogy is a beagle)
I am fighting with them and telling I am exhausted
T: yes you could do all this, you can seek guidance if you wish…
There is no rush, I am right here, take your time.
C: I want to live life for myself. (after a pause)
T: Do you think this is the solution for the issue where you are feeling people are diminishing you, somebody always comes and takes over your place and they make sure you’re not seen?
T: Or do you want to go ahead and explore some more lives?
C: I think I will drop the fear. What happened earlier need not be repeated.
And this lifetime for me is only to shine. So, I leave what I don’t need now. I leave behind.
What happened then, I want to leave it there. I only want to carry my gifts, strengths, and blessings, and not my fears.
T: Yeah…. that’s beautiful.
T: And how does it feel, all this?
C: It’s better.
T: Do you want to move ahead and explore some more lives or do you think you got what you sought? It’s up to you. If you wish, we can go ahead and explore further
C: I don’t know, maybe we can stop it for now…………… But I still don’t have a question why I always underplay.
T: hmmm… let’s explore that………. On the count of 3 to 1. Go to this significant moment or a memory that made you under play, which made you be small.
Where you played small for the first time. 3…. 2…. 1. Go to a significant event where you felt you were playing small for the first time.
C: I’m there, I’m like maybe a small boy.
We are very poor family, there are so many children………
T: Yes…….What are you wearing? Look at your feet.
C: Yeah, I’m barefoot. I’m wearing shorts and a shirt.
My mom is my biological mom from this life.
T: yahhh…… And who else is with you? Your mom, you and you’re very poor.
C: I think we have another younger sibling who is my twin sister now.
T: Yeah, okay. You have a younger sibling who’s your twin sister and you’re a boy.
How old are you?
C: Must be five or six years.
And there are elder siblings also. But they’re not visible, they’re far away.
T: Go back to an event where you’re together with all your family members. Maybe the dinner time.
C: hmmmm
T: What do they call you? Can you hear anyone calling you?
C: Pappu.
T: Pappu…. Yeah.
Who else is there with you, Pappu, at the dinner?
C: Mom, dad my siblings, we’re all there, but there’s not enough food.
T: What are you eating? Is there anything to eat?
C: Yeah, so there is little rice.
And my mom is already feeling bad that we don’t have enough. Hmm. So now the only way I can help her is by not taking in as much as I need………So that others can fill their stomach.
T: And how does that make you feel?
C: I feel like I’m taking care of my mom and I’m being responsible. It feels nice. I’m happy because the younger one needs food.
T: Are you aware of your father?
C: Yeah, it’s my mom and dad from this lifetime, my biological parents.
T: Go the next significant event from this lifetime. Allow your mind to resurface the next significant memory from this lifetime.
C: It’s death of my father or somebody. Hmm. Yeah, we’re all in pain and helplessness.
T: How did he die?
C: I think he had a heart attack.He was doing some work and he collapsed.
T: And how did you all cope with it? How old are you now?
C: I’m 14.
T: You’re 14 and your father passed away with a heart attack and you all are in pain.
C: The only way is to go get up, give up on your dreams and support the family and existence.
T: How did you support the family when you were 14?
C: I would work hard on farms. Bring food. So that my younger siblings can go to school and study.
T: Go to the next significant event from this lifetime.
C: I’m old, around 60s.
T: Where are you? I’m in that same place. where I grew up.
T: Who is around you?
C: Nobody around me.
T: Your siblings?
C: No, they’re not there.
T: Mother?
C: No, she died.
I feel very lonely because I don’t even have my wife. She also died. Kids are in their own life.
T: Do you know your children?
C: Hmmmmmmm
T: Maybe you can just slow down and slowly see into their eyes and get an impression of who they are. It is okay if you don’t know them. That’s fine too.
C: Hmm.
T: It’s okay. No problem.
C: I’m all alone. I’m left to live my life on my own. I’m exhausted. I just want to end.
T: What might have happened that you left alone?
C: Everybody moved on to find their life. They migrated but I wanted to stay back.
T: Your siblings?
C: They’re all settled in their life but they’re somewhere far away.
T: Are they in the same town or the village?
C: They moved. I think one of my brothers is there. But I know for sure, they’re all doing well but they just moved on. Nobody comes to see me now.
T: How was your financial status when you were at 60? Are your needs taken care? Do you have enough now?
C: I don’t have. The family has enough but I don’t get enough.
T: What made you not have enough when everybody around you has enough and they’re settled?
C: I don’t feel like asking.
T: What did you do for a living in this life?
C: Farming.
T: You still have your farms?
C:Hmm.
T: They don’t fetch you anything?
C: They do, that’s all for kids.
T: So how do you feel about this? You worked from the age of 14. You took care of your family. You worked for family and today you’re alone. How do you feel about this?
C: Not good but then I can’t speak. They’re all my loved ones for whom I did this.
T: What was it about playing small? Is it something from here?
C: Because I promised to take care of them.
T: But how do you think you will take care of them by being small?
C: If I sacrifice my needs they can meet their needs.
T: Did it benefit anyone?
C: Yeah. They all grew up.
T: What about you?
Easy. Relax…. Allow your forehead to relax
T: So did this belief serve you in any way? “I will ask less. I will do less. I’ll underplay for my family”.
Do you think it served you?
C: I didn’t have the courage to change my belief. I never had the courage to say I need more; I’m entitled for more.
T: Go back to the last moments of this life.
C: Hmm
T: Easy…. How did you die?
C: It’s just health ailments.
T: Who was around your dead body?
C: My kids, grandchildren.
T: What are they all doing?
C: They’re all busy.
T: Is there anyone around your dead body?
C: Everybody is there.
T: And what do they look like? Are they okay? Are they sad?
C: They are okay. At least on the surface they’re all okay. They feel relieved.
T: How do you feel seeing all of them?
C: It is sad but it is okay because I’m done. It was no pleasure living life
T: What was the learnings of this life? Just float above the scene and from there see what are the learnings of this life.
C: To put myself first. There’s always enough. I don’t have to sacrifice.
T: What is it that you have carried from that life to this life?
C: Trying to be nice. Not showing up for myself. Maybe waiting for someone to come and bring me out.
T: Do you realize in all the lifetimes you were waiting for someone? When you were stuck in the fire you were waiting for someone to pull you out.
When you were dislodged from your position as a queen you wanted someone to stand up for you…. And even here in this lifetime of a boy you thought you would wait for someone to be there for you. Did this belief serve you in any way in any of your lives?
C: No.
T: What would you need to drop this? What will help you to drop this? What will you need to stand up for yourself to show yourself and to play your game like a master? What might help you? (all of this was asked with good time gap between each question)
C: It’s okay to stand up for myself. And some amount of self-interest where I will take care of
T: Very niceeeee……………….Where are you now?
C: Back to the garden
T: Yeah, this garden is a safe place. Is there anything you want to look further? Did you get your answers.
C: yeahhh (with a deep sigh of relief)
T: Are you okay to come back? It’s your choice. We can still do.
C: But why is it that I’m still looking for some bigger force to guide me?
T: that’s okay. On the count of one, maybe you will find someone who can guide you….Shall we do that? And it’s okay if you don’t see anyone.
C: I know. I know the connection. It’s that Pondicherry mother…….I know mother… I know I have a connection with her. I feel nice having her around. But I also can see that flash of baba Maha avatar Babaji
It’s just that mother, and baba photo.
I gave sometime here….
T: What else do you sense around?
C: It’s a nice pink, blue light, cozy. (she spends some time here) walks towards the light ……
I’m here, I’m coming back by the staircase
Gave her some time, bought her to garden, allowed her to relax. Here once again I recalled all the lives and observed her face and body and also asked her if she would like to re visit any of the life.
Client was very much at peace and said she knows it all.
Eventually I emerged her.
Session 4 Final integration
Client herself said that now she understands why she was scared of driving. She experienced a strange heaviness in the leg when she saw herself falling into the well. She says it’s the same heaviness that comes when she tries to drive and she cannot move her leg. She also mentioned, she would be always alert while walking and look for any small steps or elevations around. She says people walk peacefully but I keep telling them be careful be careful. She said “Now I understand from where it comes, its so familiar now”…
She understood the reason behind her heavy weight and how she carried it from a life where she was very lean (We nowhere discussed anything about the weight issues during history taking and theme finalisation. I was just aware that client was on healthier state at some point of life. Today she is not heavy as she underwent a Bariatric surgery couple of years back).
Now coming to our main theme, where client felt she was always shadowed by someone at various stages of life and learned to diminish herself everywhere. This affects the client in her career as well.
She had her realisations, that how in various life and waited for someone to help her, speak for her, support for her and eventually was affected because of that. She never put herself first and prioritized others.
She says she is ready to drop the fear, need for other to stand for her and do her things all by herself. She understood, all she has to do is value her gifts and take charge of her life. Her exact words were “So this was all about the choices I made, I can choose different today”.
We discussed, how in every life client felt the need for someone to support her and in that process, she lost her life or position. It was kind of a pattern. So, client went back with an understanding that she does not need others support, first, she needs to do what she can for herself.
After 3 days I once again checked with her about her leg, she said it’s gone, it’s very light…
Suggestions:
-
To take baby steps towards her individuality. Trust herself.
-
Stand in front of the mirror everyday and tell … she is enough… She deserves…. She can do it all by herself.
The client herself is a deeply spiritual person and is aware, so I felt she doesn’t need much of my help here.
