Client Tripti (name changed) (referred as TP henceforth) Age 48 years old Female
Married for 25 years and has two children.
Hypnotisability Score: 8/10 | Eye Roll Score: 1/4
Dominant Sense VAK: 9/5/1
Pain Level Before: 8 & Pain Level After: 0
Therapist: T Client: C
Theme: “Why am I in this humiliating marital relationship and when will this end”
Session 1 History
Childhood: TP was first born and was pampered by her parents when she was young. Everything around her was smooth till she hit puberty. Post puberty there were hormonal changes in her body which shifted things in her life. Her haemoglobin was very low (this was diagnosed very later) and she felt lethargic and exhausted. Not knowing her issue, her parents called her lazy. Her parents were very controlling and never let her be free. TP found solace with friends as she was not heard at home. Eventually, she preferred friends as family was being harsh to her and that reduced her interest in education. During grade 10, she was at home, listening to music, father walked in and slapped her for not studying. TP went to her room and attempted suicide, she was saved and hospitalized, but when TP woke up in the hospital, she had no clue about her suicide attempt. Her family told her that she was unwell and so she was hospitalized. TP believed that, only after a month her friends told her the truth which was confirmed by her parents later. Even today TP only knows what she is told, she doesn’t remember what happened after her father slapped her. With her parents being controlling and calling her various names (lazy, playful, etc), TP already was very low on her self-esteem, not confident, and anxious.
TP finished her bachelor’s and master’s, however, it was the same she wanted to study well and be the way her parents wanted her to be, however, her body did not support her. During her masters, OCD triggered and she kept on washing her hands. By this time TP’s anxiety also shot up. TP found her peace and support with God, she would pray and chant. There was a phase where she had to chant to move from one room to another room.
Marriage: TP got married to a rich joint family. Like any other woman she landed up in her new home with lots of dreams, husband turned out to be very abusive. Abuse and silent treatment started in the very first month of marriage. TP was born and brought up in a nuclear family and was married to a big joint family. So, from here the next 25 years client was abused physically and emotionally and in all possible ways by her husband. Moving to a joint family she also tried to do everything possible under the sky to find her place in a big family. So, she learned to cook well, listen to everyone never question anyone, and a lot more.
As of today: TP feels she is the bad one as she has several health issues because of which her husband is tired and behaves harshly towards her. She genuinely feels she is the wrong one. She describes herself as “I have OCD, anxiety health issues” and family is bearing me. A part of her knows that her husband is abusing her but she is also brainwashed by everyone that she is the wrong one.
She comes for a PLR session as she wants to understand why she is suffering in her marriage and when will it end.
Session 2
Dave Elman, Progressive relaxation, Ball of light, staircase, Garden
Happy moments and closures
Session 3
Dave Elman, Progressive relaxation, ball of light, staircase, garden
Cliff, reframing and PLR
T: Go to a significant memory that made you choose this painful/hurting marriage.
C: After some time, I cannot see anything
T: That’s ok TP, nothing to worry
T: Let’s be in the garden and relax. Take 3 long breaths following the natural rhythm of your body (gave her time to breathe by instructing her to inhale and exhale following the pace of her breath).
T: I will count 3 to 1, on the count of 1, go to a significant event of your life that made you choose this painful marriage in this life.
C: It’s all dark I cannot see anything (I can see she is a little disappointed)
T: Ahh, yes, it’s all dark around, and it’s ok for you not to see anything, it’s totally ok
C: Nods her head with a sigh of relief
T: I will count 3 to 1, on the count of 1, maybe this darkness will fade slowly and maybe it will get clear, let’s try… It’s ok if you see something and it’s ok if you don’t see anything.
I am right here for you (Her facial expressions say she is relieved)
C: After a long pause, I still cannot see anything (again visibly disappointed)
T: That’s totally ok (with a comforting voice), Let’s go to the garden and relax for some time.
On the count of 1, you may reach the garden, choose any bench of your choice, and relax.
Coach breathing, comforting words.
T: TP, I see the folds on your forehead, is there anything that’s bothering you?
C: yes, I am not seeing anything (a bit anxious, she has anxious issues in general)
T: Ahh, I can see it, but can I tell you, it’s totally ok to not see anything?
May I ask you to leave everything to me. All you could do is just focus on my voice; the rest is taken care of. I am here to handhold you, is it ok for you to just focus on my voice?
C: a deep breath and says yes.
I allowed her to spend some time in the garden, coach breathing, allowed her to relax, and told her some comforting statements.
T: TP can we move ahead?
C: yes and nods her head
T: Go back to an experience where you felt so humiliated for the first time (this was the verbatim, she used constantly during the history-taking session)
C: In a feeble voice (confirming to me that she is in a deep trance), when H (husband), hit me with a shoe, everyone was around… my in-laws, relatives, mom, dad and he hit me with a shoe, I had my one-year-old baby in my arms, he still, hit me. I felt so humiliated. I did not even make any mistake.
All I did was, I wanted to stay at a relative’s place as all my cousins were there, but he said no. I was emotional, just a few tears rolled out, and he saw that. He told me to stay at the aunt’s house leaving the baby and tried to take the baby. I did not give the baby, as he was too young to stay without me, I was still feeding him. My husband was furious that I did not give the baby and hit me with shoes.
She was distressed and was in pain
T: TP, all this happened in the past, you don’t have to reexperience this pain, you can step back and watch it from a distance (had to repeat this twice for her to feel better)
T: (After she seemed ok) Now this humiliation might multiply two times…… now this humiliation increases several times more… (client is in a bit of distress)
This humiliation slowly expands itself as a bridge and you may walk on it. Would you want to walk?
C: yes
T: ok please walk on this bridge, it is safe for you to walk on it. As I count 3 to 1, on the count 1 you may reach the end of this bridge (gave some time), 3…. 2… 1….
Were you able to reach the end of the bridge
C: No (seems to be a little scared)
T: That’s ok… this is a very safe bridge, it is ok for you to walk on this, as you walk on the bridge maybe you will find three doors, and you can open any door of your choice. It is all in your favour, would you like to move ahead?
C : yes (IMR)
T: Alright!! Let’s walk, you are safe here… (gave some time, the client seems to be ok based on her expressions)
I will count 3 to 1, on the count of 1, You may reach the three doors
3, 2, 1…
What comes to your awareness?
C: I can see the doors,
T: You can slowly open any of the doors, behind that door, you may visit a significant event from a life.
Gave some time
Could you open the door?
C: yes (IMR)
T: maybe you could walk inside, it’s very safe there
C: I see a baby without clothes and is crying (it’s all a small flash), (she has been educated about KMF and classic patterns)
I see a baby and a woman (it’s a flash)
T: That’s all right, are you aware of them? Are they familiar to you?
C: No
T: Maybe you could look at your feet, and see what you are wearing (gave her enough time, but she did not answer)
Asked her again, could you see your feet and get an impression of what are you wearing?
(No answer, seems to be a little confused)
T: Its ok, maybe you could look around, is there anyone else…. Is this place familiar
(still seems to be confused)
T: Are you in the same body in this memory?
C: I guess yes
T: what are you wearing?
C: A white dhoti
T: hmmm… You are wearing a white dhoti, what else are you wearing?
C: A white kurta, but I cannot see my face…
T: It’s fully ok, you are wearing a white dhoti and a white kurta nice,
I will count 3 to 1, on the count of 1, maybe you could see the face
3, 2, 1…
C: Pagadi, I see a white pagadi and see the face, it’s me,
T : Are you a male or female?
C: Male
T: hmm, you are a male, wearing a white kurta and dhoti and a white pagadi
Do u still see the child and woman around?
C: yes
T: What are they doing?
C: The child is crying
T: What is the woman wearing?
C: A green Nawari saree…
Ahhh (TP is in distress), my acidity and held her throat
T: thinking it was an abreaction, tried to alleviate it,
C: I forgot to take my acidity pill, I think I am hungry and my acidity is shooting.
T: aah, would you like to slowly come back, and we can do this once again, I am right here,
Do you want to do that?
C: Yes
T: I anchored the whole experience of seeing a male in dhoti, woman and child, and told we can visit this anytime you want.
For now let’s slowly go back
Bought her back to the garden, allowed her to rest, and slowly emerged her.
After emerging she told me, how acidity is her regular issue and that she missed taking her pill (we even spoke about it during history taking)
I said, that’s ok TP, let’s respect your needs, do u want to take the pill now, she said yes. So, we decided to break for lunch.
Before we went, I comforted her that it was totally ok and we could do it again and I am fully ok to do this again. She felt better after hearing this.
She took her pill and we ate.
During lunch I made sure, I made the environment very light, and told her some stories. I attempted to ease her stress and guilt of missing her pill, as she thought that stopped her from seeing her past life. After a good break, I asked if she was better and ok to do the next session today.
She said she wanted to. So we went ahead with the next session.
Session 4
Dave Elman, Progressive relaxation, ball of light, staircase, garden
While we were still in the garden, client could see white steps
C: White steps and a white horse (in a very feeble voice)
T: Yeah, white steps and white horse, maybe you could go along these steps…
What else comes to your awareness?
C: White light
T: Do you want to go closer to the white light?
C: Yes
T: Please go… go closer to the white light (gave her time)
Maybe this white light could help you understand, what is needed for you to know today in this session….
C: It is all wonderful on the top there, everything is white, leaves are white, flowers are white
T: Yeeeees…… it’s a beautiful place with white leaves and white flowers
After giving some time…
T: Do you see anyone else around, is the white horse still with you?
C: still climbing
T: Maybe you can ask this white light, what is it that you have to know today…
C: She nodded her head as if she was not able to connect to anything…
T: no problem…
I will count 3 to 1, on the count of 1, you may go to a significant event, which led you to experience this tough relationship with the husband, this humiliation that you faced in this life…
Let’s do this, 3… 2…. 1….
C: I think, I am in that top beautiful place. There are sofas. It’s a blissful place. There is someone in the far… I don’t know who is there… It’s not clear
T: it is okay, it might get clearer eventually
I will count 3 to 1, on the count of 1, this vision might get clearer, and you may get a clear idea of this person. 3………2……….1………… What comes to your awareness?
C: Neem Karoli Baba, he is Hanuman ji’s avatar, I have intense faith in him. I am getting his messages these days. I feel he is only there.
T: You can stay with him…
C: He is blessing me (overwhelmed with joy)
T: Take in all these blessings.
Ask him what is it, that he wants you to know, do you have any questions, please ask him
Is there anything that is making you uncomfortable (Her breath was a bit intense here)
C: No, I am feeling so blessed, he is there, and he is blessing me, so lucky to get his blessings
T: Know how lucky you are, soak his blessings…
Take your time……
what does he say (asked after a long gap, she just showed me her finger slightly raised asking me to wait)
C: He is saying I will do a miracle, I will change everything, I will do everything better, I promise you I will make everything well. He is Anjaneya Swamy’s avatar, he is God, what else do I need other than him
T: yeah… take all the blessings, let this blessing soak into your body, into every cell
(After a few minutes)
Is he with you?
C: yeah, he is still speaking
T: take your time, you can let me know when you are ready to move ahead.
C: I am still talking with him,
T: yes, take your time, please take your time.
(After 10 min)
T: Would you like to share anything?
C: He is still talking
T: Please take your time.
After a long time
C: You made some mistakes and troubled your husband in the past life, so you had to suffer. You have suffered enough; I will stop all this like a miracle. Go back. Get down the steps. I touched his feet, sat with him, and spoke many things with him. He said you have so much faith, I will never break your trust. All gods are watching you. Don’t go deep inside and trouble yourself more. I will take care of everything. You showed a lot of patience, like a miracle I will change your life.
T: How do you feel about all this?
C: What else can I ask for? All my prayers are answered. God is giving me darshan and blessing me. This is everything for me. I am so blessed. There is nothing else to be known.
There were some karmas, so I had to go through this. He will change everything. He will make my husband loving and caring.
T: Do you want to ask about your anxiety?
C: I asked for everything, and he said he would take care of everything. He will do miracles. He will change everything. He said he would help me with my charity as well, as I overdo it. He said he would help me with everything. He says don’t strain now, go down the steps.
T: What do you want to do? Do you want to move further and see any more lives?
C: No…
He is telling, he is there.
I don’t want to think of anything else now. This is more than enough for me. I trust him. He will take care of him
T: Stay here and see how important you are. You feel you are a small human being (this was her verbatim during our conversation) but God came for you.
C: I am so lucky. This is beautiful. This place is like an angel’s place. So beautiful. I can ask for nothing.
(After this she was very emotional, happy tears rolling down)
Forgive your husband as well. It was all your past Karma (Baba said). She was asked to chant a god’s name by Karoli Baba and she did that.
C: Baba is saying to bring me back down the steps (the final kick I needed to set my critical mind and follow the divine)
I slowly emerged her. She opened her eyes, took my hands and kissed them, and hugged me for so long. It was an intense moment for both of us.
Session 5: Final integration
The client was just so happy. She was strongly guided by the divine. Her years of trust and faith in God, gave her much-needed solace. She was extremely happy and denied any further sessions to see her past life as she was assured that she didn’t have to see anything or know anything. She was sure she would be taken care.
Therapist suggestions:
I guided her, about the wholesomeness of the soul. She is not just a wife and a mother, she is an amazing and loving human (every day she would bring warm food for her and me). I helped her to see her strengths.
I suggested her to broaden her world, come out of home, make friends, and explore her childhood interests. She joined a dance class and I was so glad to know this.
Suggested her to take baby steps to find herself back. She agreed to do some coffee dates with her daughter.
After a month she sent me a hand written note saying her anxiety is gone and she is managing things well.
After 1.5 months, she told me she had a heart-to-heart conversation with her husband for 2 hours which did not happen over the years.
Her hours of chanting and pooja have come to 30 minutes now. She does and she comes out of the pooja room unlike before when she would sit there for long hours in fear and chant. Overall she is a at a very happy place after 1.5 months.