My humble salutations to our beloved master & guide Dr. Venu and to all the members of the Amarantos Family. A heartfelt gratitude to all my fellow batchmates from whom I’ve learnt a lot and a special mention about Ms. Roopa Sanjeevi for her valuable insights and for guiding me to successfully complete my 1st case. Thank you Roopa from the bottom of my heart. Request you all to go through it and share your valuable feedback. Thank you!
Vitals: - M (Client’s Name), F, 34 years, Hypnotisability Score – 7/10, Eye Roll Test – 2, Dominant Sense – Kinaesthetic (3) & Secondary Sense – Auditory (8), Pain Level Before the Session – 7/10 & After the Session – 1/10
Theme : Toxic Relationships Affecting Self-Esteem and Self-Worth
Trigger : Always getting into wrong relationships causing emotional abuse, distress to self & the fear of losing her self-worth & self-confidence again if she gets into any relationships in future.
Client History –
M has been born & brought up in a metro city and lived in a joint family surrounded with grandparents, aunts, uncles & cousins. She was always pampered, loved & cared by her parents & others in the family & her parents have been extremely supportive to her in all her endeavours, especially her mother. She is the only daughter for her parents and her mother has been the pillar of support & strength to her throughout, even today. Both of them lived each other’s lives. M looked for validation always from her mother. Father is a very nice person but was busy with his work commitments. So she always was hooked to her mother. Her birthday was given a lot of importance at home. Overall she had a happy childhood until her 7th grade. She was a very bright child & was extremely good in her academics & has always excelled in whatever she has done so far. Everyone in her school always felt that she was good & had jealousy. When she got didn’t get good grades in her public exam, all her classmates started to bully her. She felt lonely, left out, developed trust issues. She became more submissive, started crying for everything, became inexpressive. She used to get very restless & feels uncomfortable when her mother doesn’t talk to her. So she started doing everything by pleasing others to keep her happy. There were lots of expectations on M from her family. She was always very much culturally very oriented. As her mother’s involvement was too much in her life, she became overly dependent until the age of 22. This actually crippled her life skills and she became a very introverted person, very submissive, used to fear to talk to people, used to shy away from attention, developed self, doubt, inhibitions, and fear. She didn’t have any friends almost until she completed her Engineering. Only her mother was her best friend.
Due to her submissive behaviour & unable to say ‘No’ to anyone, she was literally used her for their own benefit. Friends started overpowering her a lot & she tolerated their nonsense & bullying. These patterns always continued throughout. She always gave importance to others happiness to be one among them & ignored her own as she always lived in self-doubt. This had created a loop in her life & she got into a relationship that was toxic. She invested a lot of emotions into this relationship but didn’t go very well. Throughout her life she has been encountering only toxic relationships & hence have lot of trust issues. There has been a constant battle between her value system vs feeling of having friends or being in a relationship. She tolerated everything & suffered all alone.
She then left to the U.S for further studies. There was growth in her career aspects but there too she experienced trust issues & lack of confidence. Then there she met her ex-husband & again this was an insecure kind of relationship. Husband was not into her but he was always with others. He was very toxic, controlling but music was something that brought them together & ended up getting married. However, he never valued her. He was extremely short tempered, emotionally abusive, spoke about open relationships, extremely manipulative in nature, basically extremely toxic person. He made her feel unattractive though she is a very beautiful person. This crippled her confidence & self-esteem. He used to smile & laugh when she was in pain & was super jealous of her achievements. In all these emotional turmoil M started to feel unworthy, good for nothing, lonely, unwanted which shattered her self-confidence & self-worth. She endured this pain for year & a half. But at the end of it she was unable to take it anymore & they got divorced after 2 years of marriage. Now she has a lot of fear of getting into any relationships & still is going through self-esteem & self-worth issues.
SESSION 1: Date: 11th Jan 2023, 7 PM – 11 PM (4 hours)
Stages 1 to 9 completed and Active feedback was taken from M, including IMR.
Prayers to The Almighty and the Masters!
Induction started with Dave Elman and graduated on to Progressive Relaxation. The client could reach considerable level of trance. Active feedback was obtained throughout with IMR.
Visualization - M was seamlessly graduated to visualizing Ball of Light and relaxation was deepened while client was experiencing the healing. Thereafter she was taken through the stairs to the healing garden. Then graduated her to Happy Memories where she could re-experience two of them from her childhood. She could see her birthday being celebrated & also when she was in her mother’s womb & also immediately after her birth. She could hear & feel everyone who were so happy to see her born. Her joy & happiness was seen on her face.
Once she was ready, brought her back to the garden and suggested to invite/meet a loving being who is not alive in the Healing Garden. M could experience meeting an old lady whom she couldn’t identify. She could receive the answers to the questions posed to her and felt the love and blessings.
Emerged M from the trance to awaken state (Counting from 1 to 5).
Concluded Session 1.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
SESSION 2: (12th Jan 2023, 9.30 AM to 1.15 PM (3 hours 45 minutes)
Prayers to Almighty and the Masters!
Induction ( stage 10 ) - Induction started with Dave Elman and graduated on to Progressive Relaxation. The client could reach considerable level of trance. Active feedback was obtained throughout with IMR.
Visualization ( stage 11 ) - M was seamlessly graduated to visualizing Ball of Light ( colour of own choosing ) and relaxation was deepened (BRV). Took her through the stairs to the healing Garden.
Suggested to feel the Tunnel of Light, enter the temple & then the long corridor which had doors on either sides. IMR/verbal confirmation was obtained throughout.
Guided to choose the door where she could enter to witness the probable resolution to her issues. On the count of 3 to 1…. guided M to open the door she had selected & enter it.
T - Allow yourself to experience your surroundings. Let me know what comes to your awareness.
C – I see flashes of light. It is too powerful; I can’t see anything.
[Silence – could notice eye movements trying to adjust & see/feel]
I see a big room which has two doors in it.
T – Ok then get into the door of your choice.
Are you able to get into the door now M ?
C – Yes I entered.
T – Do you see yourself there & see your feet?
C – Yes I can see my feet & I’m inside the room now. I’m wearing slippers.
T – Wonderful! What comes to your awareness in this room? Is there something that you see M ?
C – I see darkness there & at a distance I can see a small ray of light coming in.
T – Ok, then walk through the path to see from where this light is coming & if you can find something there.
Are you walking inside?
C – Yes I’m walking. It is dark but I can just see the glimpse of light here & there. I think I fell somewhere deep. I can’t see anything, it’s completely dark here.
T – Can you feel or notice where you are?
C – I think I fell into a tunnel & I don’t know how to come back.
[Could see lot of tension around the forehead & taking deep breaths & hence regularized the breathing]
T – Float above your body & witness what’s happening from above. What are you witnessing now?
C – I see that I’m stuck in this tunnel & there is no way out & I’m going to die here.
[Feels a lot of anxiety]
T – Let’s move back to the garden where your body has been relaxing. This is a very safe place where you can relax. You can stay there and feel complete relaxation first before we move ahead. Now at the count of 3 to 1, you may move back to the garden.
[Got confirmation through IMR if M was relaxed & then again navigated her through the tunnel of light, temple & the choice of door]
T – What are you witnessing now?
C – Yes, I see a temple there & I’m inside the temple.
T – Can you see your feet? What are you wearing M ?
C – Yes I can see my feet. I’m barefoot as I’m inside the temple. It is very beautiful temple with lot of carvings. It is a Shiva temple. I’m dressed traditionally.
T – Nice! Do you see anyone around there?
C – No I’m alone inside the temple praying.
T – Are there anyone that you can see around?
C – Yes there are people outside. There is a procession going on & everyone is participating there.
T – Are you with your parents? How old are you?
C – I’m a 20 years old girl. I’m alone, my parents are not with me.
T – Do you know what people call you in that life?
C – No I can’t hear anything.
T – Ok, then let’s go to supper time where you are with your parents having food. Are you ready?
[Nodded her head & with a count of 3 to 1 we went to the meal time]
Can you see your parents there M ? Are you all having food together?
C – Yes I can see my mother & she is serving food for me. I can’t see my father.
T – Can you hear your mother call you by name? How old are you?
C – Yes, my name is Lakshmi. I’m 12 years old.
T – Lakshmi is there any significant event that has occurred in this lifetime which you want to share?
C – No I don’t see anything.
T – Ok, then let’s move forward to the time of your death at the count of 3 to 1. Can you see yourself?
C – Yes, I can see myself on the bed. I’m sick.
T – How old are you now? What was the cause of your death?
C –I’m 85 years old. I was sick. All my people are around me. My son in pressing my feet.
T – Lakshmi is there any significant event that you came across in this life of Lakshmi?
C – Nothing as such. I was happy in that lifetime. I think I’m dead now.
T – Where do you see yourself now?
C – I’m floating above. It’s very bright here.
T – Are you witnessing anything from above?
C – Yes I can see everyone surrounded by my body.
T – Are you carrying anything ahead from this lifetime?
C – No I’m fine. I had a fulfilling life.
T – Ok M can we move ahead to next life to find out the root cause of your issue of Toxic Relationships Affecting your Self-Esteem and Self-Worth? Now at the count of 5 to 1, you may pick up a lifetime that comes to your awareness.
C – Yes sure.
T – Great! What do you see now?
C – I’m in a village now.
T – How old are you?
C – I’m 18 years old girl.
T – Can you see your feet?
C – Yes I can see. I’m walking barefoot.
T – Do you know your name?
C – Yes, I can hear someone calling me Mugdha.
T – Ok Mugdha, what are you doing now? Is there anything that’s coming to your awareness?
C – I’m just there in my house with my grandparents & I can see my mother there.
T – Do you know which year is this?
C – Yes it is the time of freedom struggle, I think it is 1947. There is lot of fights going on. My grandparents also are part of the freedom struggle.
T – Are you also a part of this freedom movement?
C – No, my grandparents & my mother does not want me to step out as they love me a lot & don’t want to lose me.
T – Is there any significant moment in this period Mugdha?
C – Not really
T – Let’s move to the next significant event in the life of Mugdha.
How old are you now Mugdha?
C – I’m 40 years old.
T – What do you see now?
C – I’m married, I’ve a son.
T – Is there any significant moment in this period Mugdha?
C – No.
T – Can we move to the time of your death Mugdha?
How old are you now?
C – I’m 65 years old. I’m lying on the bed.
T – What was the cause of your death?
C – Not sure but had fever from few days.
T – Do you carry anything ahead from this life time?
C – No I don’t see anything but I’m happy.
T – As you float above, do you see anyone around you, it may be the masters or someone who is close to you, with whom you can ask questions about your current issue?
C – I just see myself floating nothing else.
[As it was lunch time, I had to bring the client back from trance. So I added a bookmark by saying that we will continue in the afternoon from where we stopped]
As M came out of trance, she was feeling very light & calm.
Concluded Session 2.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
SESSION 3 (12th Jan 2023, 3.30 PM to 7 PM (3 hours 30 minutes)
Prayers to Almighty and the Masters!
Induction ( stage 10 ) - Induction started with Dave Elman and graduated on to Progressive Relaxation. The client could reach considerable level of trance. Active feedback was obtained throughout with IMR.
Visualization ( stage 11 ) - M was seamlessly graduated to visualizing Ball of Light ( colour of own choosing ) and relaxation was deepened (BRV). Took her through the stairs to the healing Garden.
Suggested to feel the Tunnel of Light, enter the temple & then the long corridor which had doors on either sides. IMR/verbal confirmation was obtained throughout.
Guided to choose the door where she could enter to witness the probable resolution to her issues. On the count of 3 to 1…. guided M to open the door she had selected & enter it.
T - Allow yourself to experience your surroundings. Let me know what comes to your awareness.
C – I can see a big place where there are lot of people around. I think it is a market place.
T – Can you see your feet? What are you wearing?
C – Yes. I can see my feet. I’m a small girl wearing Langa Blouse (Skirt & Blouse set). I look very beautiful. I have a long hair.
T – What’s your name?
C – My name is Padmini.
T – How old are you Padmini?
C – I’m 10 years old girl.
T – Are you there along with your parents?
C – My mother is there with me. I can’t see my father.
T – Which period is this….is there something coming to your awareness Padmini?
C – No it is some period of the king. I don’t know who this king is.
T – Try to listen to people around you to know the name of the king. Can you hear anything Padmini?
C – I can hear people talking about the king, but can’t hear his name. People are very scared of him.
T – Try walking around the place and listen to someone mentioning the king’s name.
C – Yes I can hear someone saying King Marthanda is coming, give way for the chariot to pass.
T – What are you doing there?
C – I’m standing with my friends in the market & seeing the king passing by.
T – Ok Padmini, can we go back to meal time where you are eating food with your family?
[At the count of 5 to 1 she was taken to dinner time]
Are you able to hear or see or feel anything now Padmini?
C – Yes, I see my mother. She is calling me to come & have food.
T – What are you eating Padmini?
C – It is some kind of kanji (Porridge).
T – Do you like the food?
C – Yes I like it. My mother cooks very good food.
T – Very nice! Is your father around?
C – No I don’t see him with us. It is only me & my mother who stay in that house.
T – Ok. So, now at the count of 3 to 1 can we move to a significant event in this life time of Padmini as a child?
C – Sure.
T – What is coming to your awareness Padmini?
C – I can see that I’m dancing. My guru is around teaching me learn dance.
T – Ok. Do you like dancing Padmini?
C – Yes I love to dance. It gives me lot of happiness & satisfaction. My mother is also a very good dancer. She dances in the king’s court.
T – Have you ever gone to the king’s court to see your mother dance?
C – No, my mother is training me so that I can be a dancer there too.
T – How old are you now Padmini?
C – I’m 16 years old & I’m a beautiful dancer. Everyone are so crazy to see me dance. My mother is taking me to meet the king soon.
T – Can we go to the time when you meet the king? What’s his response?
C – Yes I am in the king’s court. He is telling my mother to tell me to dance. I’m dancing now. Everyone in the court is wow struck. King is mesmerized with my beauty & my dance.
T – So what happens next?
C – King is telling my mother to come & stay in the palace with me so that I can be his main dancer.
T – Did your mother agree to it?
C – Yes, she was very happy but also hesitant as I was small, but she can’t tell anything to the King. So, she agreed to stay in the palace.
T – Is there any significant event in this period of the life of Padmini?
C – I’m dancing in front of the king. He is very happy to see me dance. He gave me his Rajamudra (King’s Finger Ring) as a reward.
T – Are you happy Padmini?
C – No, I’m not. I’m feeling very sad & angry from within.
T – What is making you feel that sadness & anger Padmini?
C – King is the issue. He treats me as his property. He just uses me the way he wants. Never asks me what I want or how I feel. He abuses me emotionally & physically. He just wants me in front of him & not want me to go out of the palace anytime. It hurts me a lot.
[Tears rolling from her eyes & gets extremely anxious, regularized her breathing]
[Silence…gave her time to come back to normal]
I don’t have anyone with me. I like someone in the palace but I can’t tell him that I love him as the king will never allow me to get married to anyone.
[Tears rolling profusely. Regularized her breathing]
T – Take your time, keep breathing deeply.
How are you feeling now?
C – I only had my mother with me, but even she is no more. She too left me all alone here. I have no one in my life. I thought the king loves me, but he too doesn’t love me. He only uses me, controls me, abuses me physically & emotionally & also does not allow me to settle in any relationship. He keeps threatening me all the time. I want to run away from here far from his clutches.
[Could see tension on her forehead & she was continuously crying]
T – I can feel your pain Padmini but remember this is only your past experience & not your present. So relax. If it is really painful, then float above your body & witness it from there. Keep breathing.
[Looking more relaxed now, gave confirmation through IMR]
T – Padmini, you mentioned that you wanted to run away from the king’s palace, did you ever try doing it?
C – Yes I wanted to do it many times & I have tried couple of times too. However, at the end I always gave up that thought thinking what if I get caught & then the king kills me, what if I’ve no money to lead my life, here I’m taken care of well; I don’t have to worry about food, clothing or shelter at any point. Thinking of these, I would hold myself back.
T – What was the most bothering fact that stopped you from running away – the king killing you or not having the security that you have now?
C – Not having the security & comfort that I have now was the biggest worry that I had. For this I was ready to face & tolerate the misery that I was going through. I always thought one day the king will realize my worth & come to me.
T – How old are you now Padmini?
C – I’m 28 years old.
T – Looking closely to the king’s eye, do have any feeling that he resembles someone in your present life?
C – Yes, little. He resembles little like my ex-husband.
T – Is there any other significant event in the life of Padmini who is 28 years old?
C – Not really.
T – Can we move ahead to another significant even in the life of Padmini?
What is coming to your awareness now Padmini?
C – I see that I’m in a solitary kind of room where I’m looking very pale & weak.
T – What’s happening there Padmini? Are you able to feel or hear someone talking?
C – I can hear the sainik (Guard) talk to the other person about me.
T – What are they talking? Can you hear something?
C – Yes, he is telling that the king has left me to die in this room as I’m old now & I’m of no use to him.
T – How old are you now?
C – I’m 60 years’ old
T – What are you feeling after hearing this conversation Padmini?
C – I’m feeling miserable. How can he do this to me. Whole life I sacrificed for him, thinking of him, living for him, I really loved him so much, I always assumed that he also loves me. Thinking of this, though I had many chances of escaping from there & leading a better life outside, I wasted my life. Now he has let me here all alone to die. I wasted my whole life & also gave up on my self-worth & self-esteem for his sake. I really don’t know who I’m now. I could have been someone else, with someone who really cared for me & loved me. But I ignored all these thinking of him & the luxuries. What a big mistake I did.
[ Starts talking very loudly in anger & tears running down her cheeks profusely]
T – Trust me Padmini this is only your past experience & not your present. So relax. If it is really painful, then float above your body & witness it from there. Keep breathing.
How are you feeling now Padmini?
C – I’m ok.
T – Is there anything else that is coming to your awareness in this time or is it fine with you if we can move ahead to the time of your death?
C – Yes. I can see that I’m going to die.
T – Is there anyone around you or with you?
C – No there is no one with me. I’m extremely sick & I just want my life to end. I’m done with this life.
T – How old are you now Padmini?
C – I’m 85 years old. I don’t want to live. I’m praying every day that this should be my last day.
T – What’s happening now?
C – I think I’m dead now.
T – Where are you now?
C – I’m floating above.
T – Do you see your body from above?
C – Yes, I can see my body lying. The sainiks (guards) are taking my body out of the room & getting rid of it. The king didn’t even bother to come & see me when I was dead.
T – How are you feeling now?
C – I’m happy that my life ended & I don’t feel any pain or suffering now.
T – Do you see any masters/guide/ or someone who can give you answers to your questions?
C – I don’t see anyone.
T – You have already endured a lot of pain & suffering in that lifetime. Do you think that you would want to hold on to this feeling in this life too?
C – No, no. I don’t want to hold on to this feeling. I’m so much relieved now.
T – What’s the learning that you would like to carry forward from the life of Padmini to your present life as M?
C – Never give away your life for anyone. You are very important for your own self & I should not let go of my self-esteem & self-worth for anyone. I see a pattern that has repeated in my current life too where I was being taken for a ride, I tolerated the abuse thinking about others without thinking what I want. I always thought I was wrong, I was not good enough for my husband, but all these were false. I’m a very capable person. I’ll work on myself to become a more confident person in life.
T – Very good M . Yes, you are a very capable, confident & a strong individual. Your past should not be hampering your present in any way.
How are you feeling now?
C – I’m feeling very light from within. All the burden that I was carrying on my shoulders is released. I feel I was carrying the burden that was not required to be carried on my shoulders all these years. I’m feeling very happy.
T – Now that you have understood the significance of this current life & learnt a lesson, is it ok with you if we can move ahead of time, may be 5 years from now to see how you will be leading your life?
C – Yes, sure.
T – At the count of 5 to 1 you’ll be able feel or see yourself in the future. Are you able to see yourself?
C – Yes, I can.
T – What’s coming to your awareness M ?
C – I’m a more confident person. I stand by my values & love myself more now. I can see that I’m married now & I’ve a family.
T – Wonderful! Do you wish to stay in this moment for few more minutes or wish to come back?
C – I’ve got answers to my questions. I want to come back.
Got the client back to the Garden [client spent time in garden on the bench]
Emerged her from the Garden to Present awaken state (counting 1 to 10).
[Client was happy to connect the dots to her past life connection to her pivotal problem of lack of self-esteem & self-worth in this life. Pain level had fallen down from 7 to 1).
Concluded Session 3.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Report and Recommendations –
A report about the sessions was emailed to the client along with the following recommendations -
-
Listen to music when stressed out (listening to music is her hobby).
-
Dance is her passion, so suggested her to pursue what she loves to do in life.
-
Meditate daily for some time if possible to keep her mind calm (since the client had a knowledge about meditation and its benefits).
-
Suggested her to journal her thoughts & feelings every day.
Feedback from the client on a follow-up call after a week:
She was very relaxed and felt in control of her life. She said, “I’ve more clarity about myself now & I know that I should bother and work on myself rather than tolerate the toxicity around. I feel more confident & strong to work on what I love to do & live life to the fullest without bothering what others will think or say. I’m working on myself every single day & I’ll be able to handle things in a better way henceforth. I’m very happy that I made a decision to take this session. Thank you so much.”
