“ Resolution of reasons for unfulfillment and blockages in relationships ”
Vitals: G, Female, 37yrs, Hypnotisability Scale: 7/10, Eye Roll: 2/5, Kinesthetic and Auditory,
Theme: Blockages in relationship, Pain point: 8/10
Trigger: Any Male touch leads her to self-harm, cuts her arms and body with blade. Lack of self worth and unhappy relationships in life. Always getting into wrong relationships causing Physical and Emotional abuse.
Pain point: 8/10
T: therapist
C: Client (avb. G)
Progression with the Case:-
Date: 14th Jan 2023, 10:00am – 1:25pm (3hrs 25min)
Session 1: Stages 1,2,3,4,5 done
Lunch: 1:30 pm to 2:00 pm
Session 2 : 14th Jan 2023, 2:15 pm – 6:05pm ( 3hrs 50mins)
Proceeded with stage 6
Closed session 2 with Pre-PLR deep relaxation session for Happy moments.
Case History: (Client Verbatim): I am going through a marriage crisis, I never had a happy and fulfilling relationship with anyone. I always feel insecured especially after the incidence at the age of 16 when my boyfriend raped me in front of his friends again and again and abused me physically by burning my hands with cigarette buds. He tied my hands and tortured me sexually. This became my trigger for the rest of my life, I could never tolerated anyone hold my hands, I became self destructive and hurt myself with blade all over body, I could never give control to any man in my life after that, I always felt I am not enough, boys only use me, and pity on me and leave me. I had few more relationships but everywhere the boys for any silly reasons like my physical looks rejected me, I was always made to feel not perfect, though I was educated and beautiful. I was made to feel unworthy and unloved even by my Mother since my childhood, and that’s what pushed me to people who hurt me. I let them hurt me because I wanted to belong. I let them treat me the way they wanted to, with a hope that they will accept me for me. I always felt invisible in family gatherings, no one would talk to me or play with me, I was an unwelcome mistake because I was a girl. My Mom and grandmother never accepted me. My Father was good and he loved me too. But people said wrong about him and he never spoke for himself, so I was angry from him and stayed away from him too. I Loved my Mama but he died at a very early age, soon after I lost my grandfather and father, my most beloved three people. I don’t remember the years of my trauma but I remember the dates.
I was called the Black Cat because, I always raised voice for my rights.
I had many distant relationships, but I could never trust on them and I never got fulfillment in any of those relationships. I would never let anyone control over me because that would make me feel more vulnerable and powerless.
Eventually I got married, but my husband never understood me, I never got the marital fulfillment, it was just a relationship of formalities and no emotional support of companionship. I continued but always felt unworthy and empty. Looking at my husband I get a feel of revenge, Hurt, Vows from him. I have two daughters but I am bringing them up all by my own. I am financially independent and now I feel I deserve to live freely with dignity along with my girls. So I am planning to ask for Divorce.
While I was living a mundane live and in darkness of my unfulfilled relationships that I met a person on a work summit, suddenly I felt as if I am so familiar to this person (his name is Y**h), a few days of staying together made me open up all my deepest wounds to him without fearing any kind of judgment, I felt as if I am HOME.
Though I feel very comfortable sharing my heart and mind to this person, I am afraid, to find pity, sympathy, and judgment in his eyes, so I don’t dare to look at his eyes. But once or twice when I looked I felt belonged, HOME. My Pain is that I don’t know how he feels for me, but I feel safe with him, and the best is My Triggers did not occur with his touch. For the first time I felt secured by someone else’s touch. I don’t want to feel unworthy in this relationship. I am not expecting anything from him except respect and value for me.
I am here to know what is the reason for my blockages in a fulfilling relationship, will I ever get someone whom I can feel safe and at HOME.
Stage 7: Proceeded with Cognitive relaxation video
Stage 8: Theme finalization
Theme: - I want to know my blockages that stop me from having a relationship that I deserve. Why I feel unworthy of myself? Pain level 8/10
Stage 9: Checked all points and agreed upon signals of IMR
Ended Session 2 with a guided meditation to achieve deep relaxation and took her to happy memories of this lifetime. Client was able to go into deep relaxation and while remembering happy moments of this lifetime, she connected to a past life memory.
Session 2: 1st Life time details
Stage 10 (Induction): Started with a Prayer and surrendering the session in the divine hands of Lord Shiva.
Method: Achieved Deep relaxation state with Dave Elman then graduated to Progressive relaxation, the client could reach a deep level of relaxation and trance, periodic feedback of client awareness taken through IMR. Took around 35 minutes to reach this stage.
Stage 11(Visualization) after achieving a fair depth in relaxation, slowly moved client to visualize garden, and took her to happy memories of childhood, but from there the client started narrating a different life time happy moment
C: I can see a house with lights on the porch, seems familiar, I have been there before, my mind is waiting for me to unlock the doors and enter.
T: Okay, go ahead and see what is this place.
C: I have been to this place, I am a small girl, and there is lot of happiness and joy here.
T: Okay that’s so nice, who else are there, what are you able to see there?
C: spiral stairs going up, fence, feels like a desert, I am standing there, Amaira someone is shouting, She is lost, lot of people are lost in a sandstorm.
T: How are you related to Amaira?
C: Its me, the boy and his mother are calling me. I am hiding behind the bush, lot of sand everywhere, am coming out now, sand is sinking, I pushed the boy away, the sand is pulling me down.
T: Who is this boy Amaira?
C: It is Arman.
T: How do you know Arman? Who is he?
C: My friend ( silence) Yh. ( Yh is the person she recently met in an official trip, and they instantly connected well)
T: What is happening next Amaira?
C: He is telling not to leave his hand, but I know I will have to let go else the sand will pull both of us down. I can’t hold on, I have to leave his hand. I can see his eyes, I am sorry I had to leave but I can’t pull him with me. He has a life ahead. He is still so young.
T: Where is Amaira? Do you see her?
C: She is Gone………
T: How do you feel now?
C: I am above the sand now, I can see a woman, Amaira’s mother, Arman… … {Silence and tears rolling down} [Abreaction]
I am feeling sadness, I am sorry… Arman is running down , trying to dig my hands out .
T: What was the last thought in Amaira’s mind at that time?
C: It was not the time for him and me, it was not my fault, when the time is right we will meet again.
T: How are you feeling now?
C: In Light and quiet…. At peace [facial expressions changed] took a deep breath.
T: Can you go back to that Lifetime once again and why this lifetime surfaced, what is the connection with this life? Now as I count from 3 to 1, May be you can go back to the Life of Amaira, and connect back to her early childhood.
3…2…1…What do you see now?
C: Amaira is 5yrs, Arman is 3yrs, and they are playing. We are running around.
It’s a desert area somewhere on the borders of Pakistan. It’s a big house, and our families are good friends. (Describes about parents dresses, with colors and other details)
T: Now lets go to the next important event Amaira. ( after a few moments)
C: There is some celebration going on, perhaps the families are fixing my marriage with Arman. We are eating sweets, we are still very young. I am happy.
( she then narrates few more happy moments while playing and growing up with
Arman) ( abreaction of smile and happiness clearly visible in facial expression)
T: That’s so Beautiful, Let us now more to next important event of that lifetime.
C: I am happy, I am 16 yrs now, I am grown up to be married, there is a celebration, I am going to get married to Arman, we are going for shopping in Market.
T: What happens next?
C: There is a sudden sand storm, he pulled me behind something, lot of dust and sand all over, sand cloud, cant see anything (abreaction: breathes heavily) I am scared, I can hear someone calling me, Maa is calling me, the wind is reduced, Arman stands and pulls me out, and we are heading towards the voice that is calling me. We are coming out of the bush. But suddenly the sand storm shifts and I slip into it, Arman is trying to hold on to me and calling for help, no one is near us, he is telling me hold on, till he gets help. But I cant hold anymore I am getting pulled , its hot, ( abreaction of stress visible of forehead, and sweating over lips is seen)
T: Relax, if it gets too difficult and painful, you can come out and see from above, its just a memory.
C: (calms down)……I let go …. (Silence)
T: Amaira what is happening? Where are you now?
C: I am out of my body… I am sad, but I know we would meet again. (Silence)
There is blue light, Its someone powerful, Archangel Michael…He is saying : you did the right thing. You won’t have to let him go every time, Trust, what you see, more than that trust on what you feel. Its ok to be afraid, its ok to allow someone to love you too.
He left…. (Silence)
T: Can we go back to the last event and once again see it in the light of this learning? what are you feeling now? What is the last thought in Amaira after death?
C: She doesn’t regret anymore, she is just sad, but they could not have done anything. Enjoy every moment of life, without fearing the future, they made some beautiful memories together. Every moment you have with the one you Love is to cherish, it does not need to be a lifetime. It is not your fault.
T: What is that this life brings to your notice, why viewing this lifetime was important for you ?
C: Amaira was sold, this was a marriage of benefits for the families, She had a black patch on her left side cheek, so her parents sold her to Arman’s Family. She was not beautiful according to them. But Arman did not care, he was the only one who stood for Amaira always. Amaira felt low about herself, which relates to this lifetime, she felt ugly, not good enough, burden, she has a dark brown rough skin patch on her cheek even in this life.
She says its ok it was not her fault, she was born that way, yet she was ready to live and face the life no matter how she looked, She found that love that she can hold on to and she was happy that she could save him.
T: What would Amaira wish to tell G ( client name)
C: Don’t be afraid to Love and Trust, even if they don’t understand you, someone
Definitely will understand you. It not your fault.
T: Can You See Amaira now? How is she feeling?
C: Yes, She is in light. It is peaceful, she is calm and happy.
T: Beautiful, do you have anything else to review?
C: No, I want to come back.
T: very well, As I count from 1 to 10 gently emerge from this state to the beautiful healing garden and slowly with each count come back to the here and now, bringing back only the learnings and peace and Love.
C: Client is alert and awake, peaceful and calm. Seems relaxed.
Session 2 duration: 4 hours 20 mins.
Client left with a sense of peace and answer why she feels low about her physical looks. She felt it was never her choice and that living each moment is more important than a long life, and that she doesn’t need to care and believe on other’s criticism. She is enough in herself.
Session 3 Day 2: Session timings 10am to 1:15pm
Started with a feedback about how the client is feeling?
C: I am getting many flashes, my 25 years nightmare again came, I have been seeing this nightmare quiet often, and My right side stomach pain is surfaced again, am in pain.
T: Okay Let us see what is the learning that is coming up into consciousness, Relax, and let us move ahead with a prayer and start with Deep Relaxation, without any apprehensions and full faith in the divine, lets surrender and get started.
C: Felt grounded and calmed down. Had a glass of water.
Stage 6,7,8,9 :- Revisited in short in order to find if anything else needs to be attended.
Theme: Repeated Nightmares and Right abdomen pain and uncontrolled Menstrual cycles and bleedings. Pain point 8/10
Stage 10: ( Induction) Brought her focus on deep breathing, started with Dave Elman, for deep relaxation. It took around 20mins to relax then proceeded with Progressive Relaxation for next 15 mins.
Client is in deep trance, periodically checked alertness through IMR
Stage 11 ( visualization) : took her through the stairs to the garden, then asked her to visualize a bridge taking her to the gate of a temple, She opened the door which leaded her to a staircase.
T: what is it that comes on surface, where are you?
C: Its dark, its night, forest, I am running hard from some people, they are chasing me, there are snakes all around, and I am running to save myself from these people.
T: Okay, what is happening next?
C: Am running, its all dark, they are calling me and screaming and telling me I cant run far. I am running… (Abreaction of fear and breathlessness)
I don’t know where to go, I am just running, I have seen this forest many times in my dreams, there is a water body, I stopped to drink some water, I think I am injured, feet are bleeding, ankle is perhaps broken and there are marks of being held and tied.
T: what is the age of this girl?
C: 25yrs.
T: Can you hear them calling you by your name?
C: No, they just call me “ the GIRL”
T: Okay what is happening next?
C: Voices are coming near, I am feeling scared, and frozen in fear, someone comes out from the forest and stands in front of me, he is tall and huge, he is laughing at me
T: Who is he? Do you recognize him in this lifetime?
C: He is the husband of the girl. Yes, I know this person, he is “P” ( this life time boyfriend who abused her physically and sexually)
T: Why is this person chasing you? If at any point this feels difficult to go through, you can raise above and see what is happening from a distance.
C: He torchers me, and says I am not worth him. I escaped from him and so he is not happy. He is walking towards me to take me back. There is a snake, he steps back, and I run again. But I got hit by a tree root and I am rolling down to a river, its dark, and I am floating fast with the river stream….Silence
T: Are you there? Can you see your body? What is happening.
C: yes, I think I am unconscious, someone is pulling me out of water, he rescued me and saved my life, He took me to his place, I am wounded badly, I cant move.
T: Thank God, You are safe… What happens next?
C: I am recovering, I can see him getting food for me, he doesn’t talk to me. I call him HOME. I don’t know his name. But I am safe here. He has a big knife always with him, he is a leader of any community. People listen to him.
T: Who is this person? Do you recognize him in this lifetime?
C: He is Y**h. I call him HOME.
T: Who else is there, can you see, or hear or feel anyone else around?
C: Yes, there’s an old lady, I think she is his mother, she is saying him, to let me go, and that they will find me and come for me.
T: What happens next?
C: I am fine and able to walk, I went out of the house, but the men of my husband had been waiting for me, they again caught me and took me to my husband. He tied my hands and legs and is torturing me, not giving me food. I am weak and hungry. Its almost a year now, I am living with him, and waiting to go HOME. I had a child, She is 4 months old. But my mother is not happy because I delivered a baby girl. I am again tortured and tied, they are beating me, I want to go to HOME. I am bleeding, I was not treated well after my delivery, the wound is getting bad. I am in immense pain. (abreaction of stress on forehead and tears)
T: I can understand your pain, if it gets too intense you can rise above and see what happens next, you don’t need to feel the pain again.
C: He came to save me again, and he is trying to rescue me, My Mother wants to kill me, but not allow me to go with him, She stabbed me on my right abdomen so that I die. But he still rescued me and brought me HOME. I am badly injured and in pain, I wont survive this time. He sings me a song every time to put me in some sleep. I feel nice and safe when I listen to his humming.
I am not recovering, I am bleeding heavily, I slept to his humming voice. (Silence)
T: Are you there in the body?
C: No I am floating above now, there is no pain now. I think I am no more living.
T: What can you feel? Or see
C: Nothing
Disidentification and transformation:-
T: Are you carrying forward anything from that lifetime in this life which perhaps you don’t need to carry?
C: Yes, it hurts even now, unwanted pain.
T: Do you want to leave it now?
C: yes, it hurts.
T: Then let it go…it is safe to do so, and may be good for you now.
C: Takes a deep breath and calms down, abreaction of peace and deep relaxation on face.
T: Can you once again go back to the point of your death and see what were your last thoughts.
C: It was not my fault to be a girl and deliver a girl child, but I felt disgusted being a girl.
T: Can you see any divine being with you now? What is their message for you?
C: “They can destroy everything but not you, and you don’t have to accept it, even when it is suffocating “
T: Who spoke to you these words?
C: I don’t know his name. Thank you! He is gone now.
T: How are you feeling now? Where are you?
C: I am at peace, but I feel sad about everything she went through.
T: Can you move into the light and see why she had to go through all of this?
C: She lost the need to fight for her, she needed to stand for her own, and accept she was always beautiful, its ok to trust a wrong person, its ok to make a mistake, but you can’t please everyone, not even your own mother.
(Silence)
T: Yes! Very true, you are always enough, no matter what others perceive about you. Never judge yourself. Self acceptance is very important. When you accept and love yourself, others will also value you, and love you. You don’t need to make others happy all the time.
C: Yes! I am now feeling it, I need to accept myself first, when I am ready, and it is right time I will get my HOME. ( client is at peace and deep relaxation state)
T: Where are you now ? Can you describe this place? What is it called?
C: Angeling realm, peaceful and beautiful, I have been here before, I can roam around here freely.
T: Let your soul rest here and get healed.
C: I can see someone here, bright light… “ It will come when it is right time” (Masters Voice)
Images coming again, some place, I have never been here but it is a happier place, lots of laughter and peace, just light.
T: Stay with the feel in the light, and let me know if you want to come back?
C: after a few moments, takes a deep breathe, relaxed normal breathing. Yes!
T: Took G back in to the garden and then back into the here and now.
Foot Note: Client got up with a feeling of puking and coughing, She Said suddenly her right abdomen pain was gone, which was hurting her from past 4 years after she had a miscarriage, but medically nothing ever came up. She reported later next day that after the session she had sudden bleeding which receded after a day and stopped completely.
Session 4: Integration and self resolution: After a break of 1 hour and Lunch, we again sat for cognitive analysis, integration and closure.
Session Time: 2:15 pm to 6:15 pm
Client was quiet and feeling drained out. Then she centered and integrated things on her own.
“ I felt unworthy and unloved because of my mother since childhood, and that’s what pushed me to people who hurt me ( Especially PARAG)
I let them hurt me because I wanted to belong. I let them treat me the way they wanted to, with a hope that they will accept me.
I stayed till I couldn’t any more take it and ran, but I still went back to similar relationships where I was treated the same , until I healed and finally decided to stand for myself and my girls. And that’s when I found my HOME. And I am ready to let it all go and stand without expectations from anyone. Because I am enough, I am me and I can”
Feedback after a week: Right abdomen pain gone, no more nightmares after 1 week of the session. Pain point reduced to 0 from 8.
“I don’t feel I am baggage on anyone, I am able to now resolve my feelings, and convince my worth to myself, I am able to ask for my claims openly, I feel worthy irrespective of what people will think about me.
I feel worthy, I am able to calm down faster from my negative self talks and come to my peace quietly. I feel my blockages were coming from my self image of being unworthy. I am able to now resolve it thinking I am more important. I am not looking for validations. I am able to prioritize myself”.
Case closed.
Wishing you many more success in your PLR journey. All the best.
