रतिऔर मैं पहली बार वृंदावन (मथुरा) में यमुना किनारे, सूर्योदय से ठीक पहले मिले थे, जहाँ हलका सा कोहरा यमुना किनारे फैला था। मैं और रति सुबह धीरे-धीरे यमुना किनारे टहल रहे थे… मंदिर की घंटियाँ और शंखों की गूंज सुनाई दे रही थी। मैं थक कर नीम के झुरमुट के नीचे बैठ गई, मुझे बैठा देख वो भी पास आकर बैठ गई ।
चाय की कुल्ली और गर्म मुस्कानों के बीच रति ने अपने बचपन से साथ बहने वाले स्वप्नों का ज़िक्र किया…एक प्राचीन वृंदावन की सुंदरता जिसे उसने आंखों से न देखा था, पर अपने अंदर महसूस किया था। जहाँ वह एक प्राचीन वृंदावन में वन, पवित्र नदियाँ और रंग-बिरंगे मन्दिरों के बीच नाचती थी। उन स्वप्नों की मिठास और गहनता में एक सन्देश था, जिसे शब्दों में बाँधना मुश्किल था। मैंने धैर्य और करुणा से उसे सुना, फिर शांति से सुझाव दिया कि past life regression से वह उन अनुभवों को जीवंत स्मृतियों में बदल सकती है। रति के भीतर एक हल्की सी चमक जागी, उम्मीद का दीपक, जो वर्षों से बुझा पड़ा था जल उठा। वह सहमत हो गई, क्योंकि हर मंत्र, हर कीर्तन, और हर सेवा के बावजूद, उसके हृदय की बेचैनी दूर नहीं हुई थी। वृंदावन का प्रत्येक दृश्य उसे अपने अतीत-जन्म की कहानियाँ याद दिलाता, पर कभी पूरा सच सामने नहीं आता। PLR के through वह वापस जाकर उन क्षणों को याद करना चाहती थी, जब उसकी आत्मा ने पहली बार दिव्य प्रेम का अनुभव किया था।
Name- referred as client ‘RATI’ to respect her privacy
Age- 37 yrs
Location - Vrindavan ( Mathura)
Profession - She is a Gopi, a sewak in the temples of Vrindavan.
Pre-briefing went well and Rati was curious and most willing to get into the process of PLR and responded calmly and peacefully with most of the questions asked.
Session 1
Contract and Oath of Confidentiality was signed
Client assessment:-
VAK 7/4/4, Eye Roll 3/5
Pain level 08(before). After 00( felt much relaxed and relieved), Hypnositability 9/10
Current life history:-
Rati was born on November 2, 1988, into a modest, middle-class American Indian family in the quiet suburbs of the Midwest. Her parents were loving, pragmatic, and deeply committed to providing their children with the best opportunities in life. Her father, a respected engineer, was a man of discipline and logic, while her mother, a gentle and thoughtful schoolteacher, was the heart of their home. Together, they built a life centered on stability, education, and the measured pursuit of success. But spiritually it was a different story.
Religion was not absent in their house, it simply wasn’t emphasized. There were the occasional visits to the temple during festivals, the faint scent of agarbatti during holidays, and the murmured prayers before meals. But these rituals were formalities, never deep dives into the soul. The family valued practicality over mysticism, reason over revelation, and achievement over introspection. Rati, the youngest of two siblings, was expected to follow a similar path, do well in school, go to college, build a career and settle down. Yet, from a very young age, Rati was not like others.
She was curious, deeply, unusually curious. Not just about how things worked, but why they existed. She would often gaze at the sky for hours, asking questions her parents couldn’t quite answer.
Why are we here?
What happens after we die?
Why do I feel like I don’t belong here?
She was a gifted student, bright, articulate, and creative. But even her academic success felt like a mask, a surface-level achievement that could never fill the void she felt within. Schoolmates were preoccupied with sports, popularity, social media. Rati observed it all with a quiet detachment, sensing that life had to be more than this constant scramble for validation. Something in her soul hungered not for recognition or success, but for truth, for peace, for connection with something eternal. And then, the dreams began…
Around the age of seven, Rati started having vivid, almost cinematic dreams of an ancient land. In these dreams, she was not her American self, not the child of Indian immigrants navigating two cultures. She was someone else, a young woman with long flowing hair, draped in colorful cotton clothes, barefoot and free, dancing beside a serene river under the shade of flowering trees. There were other women around her, all singing, laughing, and calling out a name she did not understand “Krishna.”
These dreams would leave her feeling enveloped in a strange peace. When she awoke, the ache in her chest was real, a longing so deep, it left her confused and breathless. She didn’t know where this place was or why it felt like home, but she began to yearn for it as if it were her real life, and everything else was a temporary illusion.
She started spending more time alone, especially in her backyard garden. While other children played video games or watched television, Rati would sit in silence among the flowers, talking to them, listening to the rustling leaves, sometimes meditating without even knowing what meditation was. There, in the stillness of nature, she felt a presence, a tender, divine whisper that comforted her in ways no human words ever could.
By her early teens, Rati had started exploring spiritual ideas through books she borrowed from the library, works on Buddhism, Vedanta, Sufism, and yoga. But it was Hinduism that called out to her in the deepest voice. One day, she stumbled upon a translation of the Bhagavad Gita at a used bookstore, tucked away between novels and self-help books. She opened it without much expectation, but the words of Lord Krishna to Arjuna stirred something ancient inside her.
“You are not this body. You are the eternal soul.”
She read the text as if remembering something long forgotten. The ideas of Bhakti , Seva and surrender to the divine resonated with her soul like music. She wasn’t discovering these truths, she was rediscovering them, as though some veil was lifting from a distant memory.
One evening, her high school teacher a kind Indian woman who practiced Bhakti yoga, noticed Rati’s spiritual inclinations and handed her a copy of “Krishna: The Supreme Personality of Godhead” by Srila Prabhupada. That book was the spark that set Rati’s heart ablaze. For the first time, the stories of Krishna, his mischief, his flute, his dance with the Gopis, his divine love, felt personal, not mythological. She was particularly drawn to the Gopis, those humble cowherd girls of Vrindavan who gave up everything for Krishna’s love.
In them, Rati saw herself.
She began to read obsessively. She downloaded kirtans, painted images of Krishna, and started chanting the maha-mantra in secret, quietly before bed. Every syllable—
।।हरे कृष्ण,हरे कृष्ण, कृष्ण कृष्ण हरे हरे
हरे राम, हरे राम, राम राम हरे राम।।
felt like a heartbeat echoing from some other lifetime. Her longing to visit India grew unbearable, especially the sacred land of Vrindavan, where Krishna had once danced with the Gopis by the Yamuna River.
But her family didn’t understand.
“Why are you wasting your time with all this?” her father asked once. “You should be focusing on college, your future,” her mother insisted.
Their love was never in doubt, but they could not see what she saw or feel what she felt. It made Rati feel more alone than ever. She carried her devotion in secret, like a flame cupped in trembling hands.
In college, Rati finally took a course in South Asian religions and began formally studying Indian philosophy. Her essays stood out. Professors noted the depth of her insight, the emotional intelligence with which she analyzed Bhakti poetry and Vaishnava theology. She wasn’t just studying these ideas, she was living them.
And then, at age 21, she traveled to India.
The moment her feet touched the soil of Vrindavan, Rati wept. She didn’t know why she only knew that her soul had come home. The noise of the rickshaws, the temple bells, the chant of sadhus, the aroma of sandalwood and jasmine, it overwhelmed her, but in the most beautiful way.
She wandered through the narrow lanes of Vrindavan like someone in a dream. Everything felt strangely familiar, the ghats of the Yamuna, the ancient trees, the small shrines hidden behind banyan groves. At Keshi Ghat, she sat watching the river flow, and a memory stirred not from this life, but from a time beyond time. She remembered laughter, bangles, bare feet on wet earth, the tug of Krishna’s flute pulling at her soul.
For three weeks, she lived like a pilgrim, visiting temples, chanting with sadhus, serving प्रसादम, and absorbing the spiritual vibration of the land. It was here she first encountered the full Leelas of Krishna and the Gopis at निधिवन… The stories, when told in the heart of Vrindavan, were not just tales, they were living, breathing revelations. Rati felt herself dissolving into those stories, into that divine dance.
Upon returning to America, she could no longer return to her former life. Something had shifted. She continued her studies but felt increasingly disenchanted with the material world. Though she earned a degree and briefly took up a job, her heart was elsewhere. Nights were spent listening to kirtan, writing poetry to Krishna, and dreaming again of Vrindavan.
In her late twenties, she began training under a Bhakti yoga teacher in the Gaudiya Vaishnava tradition. He recognized her sincerity immediately and gave her the spiritual name “Rati,” symbolizing divine attachment and love for Krishna. The name pierced her deeply. It was the name she felt she had always carried in her soul.
For years, she lived between both worlds, one foot in the West, one foot in the sacred dust of Vrindavan. But by her late twenties, the pull became too strong. She made the decision most people considered radical. she renounced her career, gave up her possessions, and moved to Vrindavan permanently.
She didn’t do it in a dramatic rush. It was a quiet, conscious surrender.
She found a simple ashram nestled near the banks of the Yamuna. Her days became filled with chanting, seva, temple darshans, and spiritual study. She woke before dawn for mangal aarti, cooked with other devotees, washed temple floors, and served food to pilgrims. In the stillness of Vrindavan’s early morning hours, she found the silence she had craved all her life.
She wasn’t seeking enlightenment. She was simply seeking love. The kind of love the Gopis knew, the kind that dissolves the ego, melts the heart, and connects the soul to its eternal Beloved.
Rati also began to teach. Young Western seekers and Indian pilgrims alike found her presence comforting. She shared not just scriptural knowledge, but lived experience, what it meant to live for Krishna, to let go of ambition, to trust in divine grace even when the mind wavered.
She would often say, “We are not human beings chasing God. We are divine beings who have forgotten our beloved.”
By her mid-thirties, Rati was no longer just a seeker. She had become a guide. Her life was simple, without grandeur or acclaim, but deeply fulfilling. She never missed an Ekadashi fast, never stopped singing Krishna’s name, never ceased to walk barefoot to her favorite ghats.
Sometimes, in the golden light of dusk, she would sit by the Yamuna, eyes closed, lips moving in silent prayer. She no longer needed words to express her devotion. It was in her breath, her being, her presence.
And still, the dreams continued…
But now, they are no longer just memories of another life, they are reflections of her soul’s true nature. She know now that she had been a Gopi once before. And in this life, too, she had answered the same eternal call.
For Rati, life is no longer a linear journey from birth to death. It is a circular dance, of longing and return, of forgetting and remembering, of wandering and finally coming home…
And home, for her, would always be Vrindavan.
Reason for Seeking Past Life Regression:
Though spiritually fulfilled, Rati felt a deep, unanswered pull toward the Gopis. She seeks PLR to explore her past in Vrindavan, understand her soul’s connection to Krishna, and heal lingering emotions… she hopes to remember her true identity and deepen her devotion with clarity and purity.
Stage 1 to 5 are done.
Theme
“Unveiling the Soul’s Sacred Vow: Tracing the Origin of Divine Longing for Krishna.” Despite her secular upbringing, she’s always felt spiritually drawn and now seeks to uncover the origin of this inner calling.
Session 2 :
We began the session with a prayer which Rati repeated after me to seek the blessings from my guruji:pray:
हे मेरे गुरुदेव, आज मैं आपकी कृपा से उस जीवन की ओर लौट रही हूँ जहाँ राधा-भाव मेरे रोम-रोम में बसा था। मैं कोई साधारण स्त्री नहीं, प्रभु की प्रिय सखी हूँ , यह जानने की तड़प लेकर आपकी शरण में आई हूँ। आप ही मेरे हृदय के अंधकार को हरने वाले दीप हैं। मेरे भीतर की गोपी को जागृत कीजिए, मुझे मेरे नित्य स्वरूप का अनुभव कराइए, और श्रीराधाकृष्ण की नित्य सेवा में मेरी आत्मा को पुनः स्थापित कीजिए। मैं अपना सब कुछ, भूत, भविष्य और वर्तमान आपके चरणों में अर्पित करती हूँ। आपकी कृपा ही मेरे लिए ब्रह्म है, भक्ति है, और मुक्ति भी।
हे गुरुदेव, कृपा करें ,आज इस यात्रा में मैं स्वयं को पा सकूँ।
I began with
Dave Elman - Progressive relaxation - staircase - Garden of peace- tunnel of light
Rati and me took deep breaths together. Inhale deeply, and exhale slowly through mouth.With each breath, let go off any tension and sink into calmness. Picture yourself in a safe, quiet space where you can fully relax.When you’re ready, I’d like you to close your eyes and breathe deeply in your belly and as you exhale, let yourself drift… further back… into a time long, long ago. Let the memories surface…You’re safe… You’re guided…
Now… tell me… What do you see?
C: a beautiful landscape… the air is sweet… there’s fragrance of चंदन and मोगरा… a river is flowing calmly…
I am seeing golden light everywhere… everything is glowing. it’s so peaceful here… मैं नदी के किनारे खड़ी हूँ… पानी एकदम साफ है…crystal clear… like liquid diamond… its the river Yamuna… I know it. I know this place. But I’m not knowing who I am now.
T: That’s good… just stay with that feeling. Look down at yourself.
Who are you n What do you see?
C: … a young girl…16 or 17 yrs …my skin is brown … like the rich earth. I’m wearing a red and yellow saree… बालों की चोटी में मोगरे के फूल लगें हैं… a clay pot I am balancing on my hip. I’ve just filled it from the river… I’m barefoot, but the ground is soft… it doesn’t hurt. I feel… I feel something in my chest… my heart is racing…someone… is coming…
T: What are you feeling, deep inside?
C: Love…love so deep… it’s overwhelming… not ordinary… it’s divine. It’s like… I could dissolve into it… become it… my hands are trembling… my eyes are looking across the riverbank into the groves beyond. I know… I know He’s coming.
T: Who is coming?
C: (Tears stream down her cheeks, her voice barely a whisper) Krishna.
T: Take a deep breath and let yourself be fully there… allow the scene to unfold…
What is happening now?
C: (Deep breath) I have placed the pot down & begin to walk… no, to run. Through the tall grass… मेरी पायल के घुंघरू बज रहे है with every step… birds have stopped singing… हवा भी रुक गई है…I can feel Him… He’s near…
very near… I can see Him.
He’s standing beneath a tree… he is dark as the rainclouds, glowing like the moon… a peacock feather rests in His crown. His eyes meet mine… and everything else disappears.
T: What does He say?
C: (Voice filled with emotion) He is smiling… said, “Anuradha.” oh…that’s my name. Anuradha…
His voice… it’s like a flute, a sound of longing…
He says that I am not separate from Him. His love is my breath… my devotion…is my heartbeat. In every lifetime, He will call me back to Him. He said not to fear… this bond is eternal.
T: How do you respond?
C: I fall to my knees… The earth beneath me has vanished.There is only Him… I offer myself to Him… my being… my soul… everything.
He steps forward… lifts me gently with His hands… They are soft…but strong. He is placing a peacock feather in my hair.
And is saying that no matter how many lifetimes pass I will always return to Vrindavan…I will always seek Him… and He… He will always find me.
T: Let yourself absorb in this moment fully. Feel it in every cell…
What are you feeling now?
C: I feel peace… Joy… Longing… Completion. Like… I have touched the Divine… Like I am the Divine.
T : very good… take your time n soak yourself in love…slowly…very gently you may return, not away from the love, but from the vision… You are grounded, you are whole… and if you may wish carry this love within you.
[Silence…]
now… with a count from 5 to 1 allow yourself to drift… gently… letting your awareness to the last day of that lifetime… as Anuradha.
5…4…3…2…and 1…
Let yourself drift into that moment…
what you see?
C : ( very softly)
I’m old… my hair is silver-white… I’m lying on a cot near a window…cool breeze…there is this sweet fragrance of jasmine… My breath is very slow n shallow… there are people around me… I see my daughter… her hand is in mine… there is sadness around, but also peace.
T: You’re doing beautifully…just stay in the moment n take a few deep breaths…allow the details to come.
How do you feel in this moment?
C : I feel complete… I’ve loved deeply… I’ve lived with purpose. There is… a knowing… like something is calling me gently…and I’m ready to go… there is no fear, only gratitude.
T: Beautiful… allow yourself to follow what happens next… let this moment of passing come naturally to you… You are safe here…
C: I take one last breath… and then… there’s a sensation… like lifting…
I am rising gently out of the body.
There’s light… around me… but it’s not blinding…It’s soft n embracing…I am looking down n see my body, it’s still, but I am no longer that.
T : You’re doing perfectly…keep observing…
What happens next?
C : There’s a presence… oh… it’s Him… my guide…he’s been with me through many lives… he doesn’t speak in words… I feel everything…he is welcoming me with deep Iove .
( She begins to cry…tears drool…)
T : Let yourself feel the love fully… You’re safe in His presence…
What does He want you to know?
C : ( smile)
He is saying… I have returned love for pain and this was the purpose in this life. He touches my forehead… I remember…so many lifetimes, so many roles I’ve played…these are different expressions of the same soul.
T: take a deep breath and, with a count from 5 to 1 you may allow yourself to move deeper along with your guide… into the space between lives….
5…4…3…2…and 1…
Tell me what you experience ?
C : (pauses, breath deepens)
It’s a vast space… but it doesn’t feel empty.
There are colors, energies, souls moving with purpose. There’s no rush, no time like on Earth. I feel… pure essence… floating.
T: Do you recognize any other souls there?
C : Yes… I see… my son from that life… he’s a part of my soul group…he came to teach me to surrender.
Another… she is my old mother-in-law… she’s actually my soul sister…
We planned our conflict to awaken compassion…
T: Beautiful insights, Anuradha.
As you connect with your soul group…
what do you understand about your journey?
C : that even pain is part of love is unfolding… that every encounter has a meaning, even my loneliness was a space to remember myself.
T : Would you like to visit the place of life plannings?..Where choices are made for future incarnations?..
C: Yes… I’m already there… it’s a hall of lights. Beings of great wisdom are sitting with me. There is no judgment, only clarity. They are showing me timelines… possibilities…
T: What is being discussed about your next journey?
C : I may return… as a healer… but they say… there is no rush. I can rest…they want me to integrate the lessons of this life and absorb the vibration of peace.
T: ok…take a few deep breaths…n allow yourself to rest… absorb… and when you’re ready, let your guide know that you are ready to explore more lifetimes… carry this love and wisdom along.
C : yes, He is holding my hand and saying… I will forget the details, but will never forget the love.
(Pause)
I am drifting back through the light… through this veil
T : now with a count from 5 to 1 if you may feel … gently drift to another experience of another lifetime connected to Krishna…
5…4…3…2…and 1
Where are you now?
C: (takes a deep breath ) I… I’m a man. I am feeling the weight of an older body, but my heart is full…
My name is Chaitanya Dasa. I am wearing a saffron dress, my hands are stained with ink… I write in service to Krishna.
I copy sacred verses, teachings from saints. I live in a small temple, very peaceful… The air is fragnant with the sweet smell of incense and the distant sounds of kirtan.
T : Where is this temple?
What time do you sense it is?
C : (eyes flutter ) …
It is Bengal…I feel it’s 1503… I am one of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu’s humble disciples… I follow him not by words, but in spirit, in song, in surrender. Every morning, we rise before dawn, the temple echoes with the holy names…
हरे कृष्ण, हरे कृष्ण, कृष्ण कृष्ण हरे हरे ।
हरे राम हरे राम, राम राम हरे हरे।
We sing and dance through the villages, invoking divine love. It’s not just devotion, it is madness, divine madness. My body belongs to this world, but my soul belongs only to Him.
T : now with a count from 5 to 1 you may be in a moment of this life that holds great significance to you.
5…4…3…2…and 1…
C : it’s a day in Puri…the crowd is endless… people pouring in for the रथ यात्रा… I am seated near the chariot, watching Sri Chaitanya himself. He is not just a saint, he is Krishna in human form… I can see a golden aura around him. He dance with such abandon…( tears pouring down his cheeks). In this moment, I feel love is the only truth… no rituals, no knowledge, no renunciation…its just love… Bhakti. In this moment I gave my life to Him completely…
T: excellent…
now, with a count from 3 to 1 you may witness the final day of the life as Chaitanya Das.
3…2…and 1…
What is happening?
C : I am old, very old, in my 70s… my hands tremble. I no longer travel. I am sitting under a neem tree beside the temple. My body is weak… but my heart is light. Today, I feel … something is different…and I have no fear…
( pause… )
I write one final prayer… the ink is faint, but the words flow…
Rati (as Chaitanya Dasa, spoke the prayer aloud)…
( tears drooling…)
I leave Peacefully…like a candle blown gently by the wind. There is no pain, only fullness, completion.
[ Silence…]
T : take deep breaths…
with a count from 5 to 1, you may drift beyond this life in the realm of souls.
5…4…3…2…and 1…
What do you see?
Silence…
C : I see a golden, endless light, I feel no weight. There’s music, soft divine flute. I am seeing beings, radiant like stars with form. They’re not strangers.They’ve watched me across lifetimes. Saints, Masters, some have taken birth on Earth, some have never left this realm.
T : Is there anyone who steps forward?
C : Yes, a Master. He is ageless, wearing light clothes, his eyes are filled with compassion. He speaks not with words, but I hear him clearly…
He says that I have walked this path many times…loved krishna not in just one life but in countless incarnations. My yearning is the echo of lifetimes spent in devotion.
[Below is the conversation between the master and Rati]
T- what do you ask from your Master?
C- about my feelings that why do I feel this longing so deeply in my present life?
Why does Vrindavan feel like home, even before I saw it?”
T- what is his reply?
C- He says , “Because it is my soul’s eternal abode. I have been a Gopi who danced in Krishna’s Leela, a saint who sang his name, a scribe who preserved the truth. I have lived for Him in all forms. And now… I am ready for the final surrender.”
T- final surrender?
C: .it’s to let go off seeking, to dissolve the self in love. In this life, I am meant to serve not just in devotion, but to awaken others. My path in Vrindavan is no accident, it is my soul’s return.
I ask again… what should I do?
What is my task?
He says: just be love, live Krishna and let Bhakti pour from my every breath. He is asking me to speak not to convince, but to remind, dance not to impress, but to surrender…not to look for Him outside, as He waits in my heart. The flute I hear is calling me, he is saying that he will always be there…Krishna is always with me and I shall always find Him…
The golden light is fading now, but I feel the warmth…
T : with a count from 1 to 5 you may choose to return… slowly…very slowly…bringing all the love, wisdom, and healing.
1…2…3…4…& 5…
You are grounded, whole and
back in your body… aware of the room… you may move your fingers, take a deep breath and when you’re ready, you may open your eyes.
(Rati’s cheeks are wet with tears, but her face serene with bliss…)
C: (silence…)
I understand now .my longing wasn’t imagined… it was memory. My love for Krishna, for Vrindavan, it’s not new. It’s ancient. I have lived for Him before. And now I know why I’m here. it’s sooo clear…
T: hmmm…I am speechless…
C: now I learned that love is the only truth .Rituals and knowledge are secondary to the purity of heart.
Session 3:
Rreflections and Integration :
Rati sat with moist eyes quietly, feeling full.
(I offered her warm water)
T: Mmm… It felt very deep.
Do you want to talk about it?
C: Yes… I think I need to. (pause,…)
I used to think this longing I carry for Krishna, for Vrindavan, is just a phase, or imagination. But it’s not. It’s memory. It’s love I’ve lived before… Many times.
T: You were so immersed… it felt like your soul was remembering, and not imagining.
C: Yes… when I saw myself as young girl, Anuradha, I knew it was real. The Yamuna, the fragrance, the way my heart leapt just knowing He was near… it didn’t feel like a story. It felt like me.
T: And what touched you most about that lifetime?
C: Love… pure, overwhelming love. It isn’t romantic… it is something deeper. It is like… my very breath is for Him. Like I didn’t exist apart from Him. And when He said, “Anuradha”… I felt seen by the Divine.
T: That must have felt powerful.
C: yes, (eyes glistening)
It broke me open & healed me at the same time. All this time I’ve searched for something, now I know it was Him.
T: What did you learn from seeing your death in that life?
C: That even death can be peaceful… sacred. I wasn’t scared. I was ready. I felt complete. Like I had done what I came for. That’s something I never thought I’d feel peace in letting go.
T: That’s beautiful. And then… in the space between lives?
C: (smiles…)
it’s beyond words. I saw my guide. I felt his love. He showed me how every life was part of this long journey, every pain, every joy, all of it… threads in the same tapestry. And the souls I’ve loved, even those I’ve clashed with, they’re all from my soul group. We planned it. Every bit of it. That made me see things… so differently.
T: Differently how?
C: With more compassion. Even the hard relationships in this life, aren’t punishments. They are… soul agreements. Lessons. Mirrors. I feel less like a victim now n more like a participant in something meaningful.
T: That shift is profound. And then you journeyed into another life as Chaitanya Dasa.
C: Yes… that was so different, but the love was the same. I was older, male, a scribe and a kirtan devotee. But again everything was for Him. I lived simply, but I felt rich. I realized that even copying scriptures was सेवा. Every name I wrote, every mantra I sang was an offering.
T: So bhakti took different forms across lives.
C: Exactly. But the essence was the same devotion…Surrender… Love…that doesn’t expect… just gives. I thought I needed rituals or perfect knowledge. But in that life… I saw how bhakti was just letting my soul dance for God.
T: And at the end of that life…?
C: (smiling) I wrote a final prayer. I remember the peace I felt… like I had done what I came for. There was no fear. Only gratitude.
T: And then… that beautiful moment with your Master.
C: (tears flow…) When he said that my longing in this life isn’t just emotion, it’s remembrance. That Vrindavan isn’t just a place for me it’s my soul’s home. That broke something open inside me. I’ve always felt drawn to Vrindavan, even before I’d seen it, now I know why.
T: What else did He share that stayed with you?
C: He said my task in this life is not just to seek, but to serve. To let भक्ति flow from my breath… to live Krishna, not just look for Him. That I’m not here to convince, but to remind. That hit me so deeply. It shifted everything.
T: What’s shifted?
C: My purpose. I used to feel lost, like I was wandering. Now, I know I’m meant to be a vessel. Not perfect. Just honest. Just surrendered. I don’t have to ‘achieve’ enlightenment. Just live love.
T: That’s a big insight. And now?
C: I feel calmer… full… I feel like my heart remembers itself, my yearning isn’t weakness, it’s my soul’s compass. It’s sacred. And I’m not alone on this path… He’s always been with me.
T: You carry the light of that knowing now. It shows on your face.
C: Thank you… for guiding me. I think… something has changed forever. I feel
now that longing is truly sacred and deep yearning for the Divine is the soul’s way of remembering its home…to lose the ego in love is the final liberation. bhakti is timeless as it is carried across lifetimes, it shapes our destinies and guides souls back to the Beloved.
