Step 1:
Session 1:
Kumudha, F, 39, 7/10, 2/5, K, Deep resentment on self, 8/10
Kumudha was a highly spiritual person and so the pre-talk was delivered to answer her spiritual questioning about PLRT.
Stages from 1 to 5 was done.
History Taking:
Kumudha is born as the second daughter in a middle class TamBrahm family. From her young age, she had a lot of attraction towards trees, dogs, monkeys, etc. She was a nerdy child till 10th standard. She was close to her Dad till she grew as a teenage kid.
In her teenage years, Kumudha had a need to āfit inā with her peers and became a rebellious child at home. She explored drinking with some friends, visiting some pubs for dancing, etc. She faced a lot of tiff at home in her college years. With different relationship break-ups and issues through the years, Kumudha finally got married when she was 30 years of age.
Her intuition kept warning her from the first time she met her husband. On the day of her marriage, her intuition kept pushing her to pack her things and run away. Yet, Kumudha went ahead and got married to Rahul. She soon started recognizing the true colours of Rahul and his mother - both being narcissists. Her marital life was filled with physical and emotional abuse. After an initial abortion, Kumudha gave birth to a beautiful daughter, Rohini. As Rohini grew up, Kumudha started noticing that her husband was doing dark spiritual practices with the little Rohini. Kumudha got hints from different places in her house that her husband and mother in law were practicing black magic.
In fights between Rahul and Kumudha, her mother in law kept adding fuel to the fire and their emotional and physical abuse on her kept increasing. During a moment of jolt, when Rahul abused little Rohini, Kumudha realized the mistake of keeping quiet. She packed whatever belongings she could, escaped with her little girl and fled back to her home town.
Now, Kumudha has applied for divorce and the case is being elongated by Rahul. She had approached for PLR session to find ways to overcome her deep resentment on herself - for taking wrong decisions in her life, for going against her Dad (and not understanding his love and concern) and for being silent all those years when little Rohini and Kumudha were abused by her husband and her mother in law.
Even amidst all her present life challenges, Kumuda diligently does her Sadhana (spiritual practices) regularly. Her friend, Sanjay is kind. He helped her to get the current job and connected her to the current lawyer.
Kumudha mentioned two of her recurring dreams:
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She and her daughter running carrying an idol. They were trying to safeguard the idol. She woke up sweating and feeling panic.
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Kumudha saw some animals being butchered and was secretly trying to free as many animals as possibleā¦ people in the butcher factory found out soon and she was chased by themā¦ she felt like crying when she re-collected the scene at the butcher factory thinking about the cruelty done to animals.
Kumudha also had the struggle of watching her life in a dissociated fashion. That always helped her to numb her emotions. She also shared that in a way being in the state of dissociation stopped her from taking timely action. āWhat if things work out over time?ā was the logical question that kept stopping her from taking timely action when she (and her daughter) faced repeated abuse in her marital life.
Stages 7 to 11 was done successfully.
Step 2:
Session 2:
The age regression brought out a lot of past regretful memories for her. She also had a lot of worries and insecurities about her future. We ended the session with regression to relive happy memories, Kumudha was excited to get memories about bonding with animals and nature in her younger years. She recollected how a group of monkeys ate from her hands when she was 9 years old. She also recollected memories of bringing stray dogs home as a 3 year old kid, petting and playing with them. Her Mom used to give bath to those stray dogs so that Kumudha does not catch any infection.
Session 3:
Theme finalization for PLRT was deep resentment on Self at pain level 8
In the PLRT session, Kumudha experienced different lifetimes to uncover the underlying pattern of her deep resentment.
T: This is what the therapist said.
C: This is what the client said.
After starting with a small prayer, the client slipped into a deep trance with Dave Elman, Progressive Relaxation, Garden of Paradise near the beach, tunnel of light and affect bridge build of deep resentment
The client exhibited fear to take the affect bridge
[ Clientās body shivered a few times ]
T: Please relax your forehead, eyes and shoulder. You can let me now what you are feeling now
C: I am feeling so scared to walk in this bridge. The railing is made of rusted ironā¦ the steps are made of swordsā¦ the steps are not hurting me but I am so scared to hold the rusted iron and walk in this bridge
T: Would it be okay if we take the help of a Master?
C: [lifts her right hand to indicate IMR yes]
T: Relax and feel the presence of a Master who can make the bridge feel safer for youā¦ probably the railings are now oiled and feels safe for you to holdā¦ and the steps feels safe. Your Master is with you
C: [ Nods yesā¦ takes deep breaths ]
[ Client later mentioned that Sri Ramana Maharishi came as her Master to make her feel safe to walk in the affect bridge ]
T: Knowing that you are safe, may your Master guide you to take the steps one at a timeā¦ I will count down from 10 to 1ā¦ you are safe and you are guided by your Master
[ past life 1 ]
C: I am vaguely seeing some men very crudely dressed. All are black. There is something in the middle - a fire pit. They all have leather skin covering their lower parts of the body. They are all doing somethingā¦ some kind of ritual
T: Take deep breaths in and outā¦ pushing your stomach up and downā¦ what else is happening?
C: There is a Baobab tree. It is grown upside down. Lots of shrubs here and there. I am experiencing Sadness. I am seeing a Little boy. He is holding a stick. Looks like he is from Africa. I feel a lot of love towards him.
T: Do you feel yourself there?
C: Noā¦ I am seeing all this like a movie
T: You can relax your forehead, eyes and shoulder. It is safe for you to step into this movie and feel yourself there. Take deep breaths in and out. You are doing so well.
C: { after a few moments ] I am seeing myself as a womanā¦ only covering bare essentials in my body. I have a baby in my arm [ feels like my present life dad ]. I am overcome with grief. There is an intense pain in my neck. It feels as if I cannot proceed any further. The pain is so intense.
[ Client cries and strains the left side of her neckā¦ her body goes completely stiff ]
T: Take deep breaths in and out. You are safe. Your Masters are with you. You can relax your neck. You are only observing this lifetime. Know that you are safe.
C: [ Silently sobbing for a few minutes and gradually relaxing her neckā¦ ]
I see the boy. Some ritual is happening in the fire pit. People cut some part of a cow. Me and my kids are just watching that ritual. When it is all done, we are going towards the dead animal because we are hungry. We are eating those animalsā left overs.
T: What is your name, names of your children?
C: I am not getting any names
T: Its okayā¦ how is the setup? Where are you living?
C: We are walking towards huts. We are living in mud packed huts. The sun is scorching hot. I am bare footed. I am seeing shrubs on both sides. There is a lot of grief due to hunger and guilt.
[ Tears streaming down her cheeksā¦ ]
T: [ wiping her tears ] I understandā¦ Please relax your forehead, eyes and shoulders. Notice if you are able to recognize the year, the place that you are inā¦
C: I am seeing some settlement. The name Sahara comes up. I dont know the year.
T: Okā¦ What is this grief and guilt about?
C: I donāt hunt for my children. I just scavenge food for them. I feel bad to take any life. I feel guilty that I am not being able to provide for my children.
T: Is your husband with you?
C: No. He is not there. He is dead.
T: Okā¦ relax yourself and notice what other key moments you are experiencing
C: [ smiles wideā¦ ] My boy has big beautiful eyes.
[ suddenly starts sobbingā¦ ] my boy dies. He is sick. My daughter and I are alive. The baby is still nursing. I feel the presence of my present mother-in-law here. Her face popped up and she is laughing at me. There was some kind of sacrifice. My boy was involved in the sacrifice. I couldnāt stop. They are saying there is famine. They have to sacrifice
[ sobbing heavilyā¦ ]
T: This is heavy indeedā¦ please take your time
C: [ crying and telling between tearsā¦ ]
Here, sacrifice is not chopping the head. They offer the energy and the child falls sick. It feels like a barren land. There has been no rain for sometime. My [ present day ] mil is the one who is telling everyone to perform the ritual. She is an old man. There was some rain after the sacrificeā¦ some drizzles.
[ with frowning eyebrows ] I donāt like the person who gives orders or does sacrifice to the settlement. I donāt understand how my boy was chosen [ starts sobbing again ]
T: [ wiping tearsā¦ ] relax your forehead, eyes and shoulders. If you feel like moving to another key moment in this life, you could do so
C: I am in my old age. I am surrounded by some people. My daughter is grown. She is dressed better than how I was dressed. She has more clothes to cover her body. She has children. I donāt recognize anyone. Her husband is my present life ex-husband.
T: How is the relationship between your daughter and son in law?
C: They are in a okay relationship.
T: What are your last thoughts as you are dying?
C: I am just feeling peaceful. I am just dying of old age - natural death. I am floating above and above. I feel so peaceful.
< life between lives >
T: You can take deep breaths and allow yourself to relax and experience this peace deeply
C: [ IMR yes responseā¦ after a whileā¦ ] I feel like somethingā¦ golden lightā¦ it feels like a chamber. There are humanoid creatures but they are not human. That was like a console. Those humanoid beings are discussing. I am watching them. They know I am there. They are chittering something.
[ Taking deep breaths and smiling gently ]
T: Would you like to tell me about that smile?
C: Yesā¦ I am seeing my boy. He is happy. He is hugging me. My friendās [ Sanjay from present life ] face popped up. He was my boy [ smilingā¦ ] He is saying he is there for me. He says I can call upon him anytime
T: oh good. Relax your forehead, eyes and shoulders and take deep breaths in and out
[ Clientās body gets tensed up ]
T: What is going on for you?
C: The scene is shifting
[ past life 2 ]
C: The boy is very possessive. I see an image where the boy is in a different formā¦ filled with rage. He looks like a giant. Itās my wedding. He is killing everyone. I donāt get married. Everyone is dead. The boy wants me with him. I am again overcome by silence and guilt.
It feels like the person I was supposed to marry is my present life daughter but that person is dead
[ Client is sobbingā¦ ]
T: [ wiping tears ] What happens to you?
C: I am just there. I am not happy. I feel capturedā¦ like a captive. He tries to show love in his ways. He is gentle with me. The whole settling is like a very old structure probably in the 1800s [ continues to cry silently ]
T: [ wiping tears ] You are safe nowā¦ relax your forehead, eyes and shoulders. Take deep breaths in and out
[ Client becomes intenseā¦ frowing ]
T: You are frowningā¦ what is happening?
[ past life 3 ]
C: It feels like a different scene. I feel my present day ex-husbandās eye watching me. I donāt see his body. His eye is following me [ client gets tensed upā¦ her body goes stiff ]
T: Know that you are safeā¦ Take deep breaths in and out. You can relax your forehead, eyes, shoulder and your bodyā¦ push your stomach up and down
C: [ gradually relaxingā¦ ]
T: What is happening?
C: I see a big banyan tree. I am near the tree. My present day ex-husband is thereā¦ he is likeā¦ he worships some dark force that demands sacrifice and he is asking me to go collect people. I am also a man. We both practice this. We sacrifice little girls.
[ Client is frowningā¦ ]
T: You are frowning againā¦ what is happening?
C: I am telling him I donāt want to do it any more. He is talking about some court and some contract. Here also I am feeling helpless. I am a man. My ex-husband is guilting me. I have taken a oath. He says I need to continue the oath.
[ Client breathing fast ]
T: Take deep breaths in and outā¦ what happens to you after that?
C: I break away from him. He is screaming at me saying that I will pay for this. I am angering dark forces. It feels like I am his disciple. He says the sacrifice gives him a lot of power
[ Client appears scared ]
T: Relax your forehead, eyes, neck and shoulders. Take deep breaths in and out pushing your stomach up and down. Know that you are only observing this scene. What happens to you next?
C: [ relaxingā¦] I am estranged. I am seeing another friend from my present life. He is in his different form with matted hair like a hermit. I donāt stay with him either. I continue to walk. I donāt have family. But the curse was something. I feel it following me. It says that I have to pay for it. I am walking towards a village. I am calling them and telling them of my ex-husband and his practice.
They are all filled with rage. I am leading them back to my husband. They are all attacking him. He is cursing me. I go from that place.
[ clientās body is shuddering ]
T: Relax your bodyā¦ your forehead, eyes, neck and shoulders. Take deep breaths in and out pushing your stomach up and down. Know that you are safe. What happens to you after that?
C: I am trying to turn towards light. I see myself sitting in dhyana under some tree. I feel like the Divine Mother is protecting me. I see her as Kali.
[ smiling and noddingā¦ ]
T: Thatās niceā¦
[ past life 4 ]
C: The scene has shifted
T: Where are you now?
C: I see myself as a disciple of Ramakrishna.
T: Are you a man or a woman? Look at the dress you are wearing?
C: I am wearing a dull robe. The colour is between brown and orange. I am a young monk. I see Him - Sri Ramakrishna, sitting cross legged in his trance
[ Client smiles and has tears of joyā¦ ]
T: [ wiping tears ] What a blissful state this isā¦ Please take your time to be here. [after a whileā¦ ] Any other key moments you experience in this life?
C: Noā¦ I am deadā¦ I have already moved onā¦ I am going towards the light
[ life between lives ]
T: How are you feeling now?
C: Peaceful and Serene. I am seeing different Masters faces. A flash of Mahavatar Babaji came and went for a brief second. Some Masters are not in human form. They are telling me not to be hard on myself. I am not convinced
[ Client is shaking her head side to side ]
T: What is stopping you?
C: The Masters are saying my contracts are over. I trust that at some level but I still want to punish myself.
T: How would punishing yourself help you?
C: I dont know
T: Would it be okay for you to ask the Masters for their guidance?
C: I am getting the message that I have been silent when there was injustice. And when I had to act on time, I was scared. The image of Durga Maa killing Mahishasura popped up. Sometimes death is mercy; its transformation.
Masters are saying help souls transform from lower realms to upper realms. When you are killing, its like transformation of negative energy. Itās just energy transforming and our mind is seeing as killing and I shouldnāt be averse to that.
T: Are you okay to forgive yourself now?
C: [ Smiling vaguelyā¦ and nodding Yes }
T: Are there any more messages for you from the Masters?
C: Masters are saying sometimes manifestation of lust and greed - kamini kanchan, can come in physical form and transforming that, is the death they are talking about. In my past life times I had hesitated to do that. I had let that manifest in different forms resulting in more pain and suffering. No action is also bad is what I am hearing.
[ Clientās body shudders again ]
T: What is going on for you now?
[ past life 5 ]
C: Same image pops up again
[ referring to her recurring dream where she and her daughter were carrying an idol and running to protect it ]
C: We are running holding something like an idol. Me and my [ present day ] daughter trying to save the idol. We are running from a mob, lead by my ex-husband.
[ Client is sweating profuselyā¦ }
T: Take deep breaths in and out. Relax your forehead, eyes and shoulder. What is happening after that?
C: I am feeling extremely nervous. It was not the idol were were supposed to save. It was us. We were focused on saving the idol.
[ cryingā¦ her body shaking vigorously ]
T: [ wiping tears ] Know that you are safe now. Take deep breaths in and out. Push your stomach up and down. Relax your forehead, eyes and shoulder. You can continue telling when you feel comfortable
C: [ sobbing for a whileā¦ ]
C: If only the whole sect stood together and fought off, that would have been powerful. This is Bhakti movement.
T: Which place is this? Is this somewhere in India?
C: Noā¦ it is not India. It feels like middle east. The establishment feels like led by the Bhakti movement. Almost all of us died [ sobbingā¦ ]
C: We didnāt understand what we were supposed to do. We were supposed to stay together to transform that energy. I feel I didnāt give the right direction to my present day daughter who was also a part of the whole movement.
[ eye brows knotting togetherā¦ ] My ex-husband was after my daughter even after my death
T: Take deep breaths in and out. Push your stomach up and down. Your daughter is safe and is with you now. You can relax. Let me know where you are now.
< Life Between Lives >
C: I am floating. I feel just the lightness. I am hearing, āJust get the warriorsā. It feels like a war. But itās not a physical war. Master is saying it is a war between the dark forces and the light.
[ Client is moving her hands ]
T: What is happening? I notice that you are moving your handsā¦
C: I am just seeingā¦ itās like a huge circle
[ puts up both her hands to denote the size of the huge circle ]
One side is dark [ denoting with her left hand ] It is greyish black. The other side is golden [ denoting with her right hand ]. Both sides are pushing each other back and forth. I see angels. They are just floating above
[ gently smilingā¦ tears filled in her eyes ]
The angels are saying itās a cycle. They are showing itā¦ like you rise above through your vibrations and you can also fall down and go to the dark side and then you can rise above. And in this cycle there are various formsā¦ various dimensions that we see as life. Different lives different realmsā¦ thatās how we experience
[ pushing her right ear up to listen intentlyā¦ ]
T: Are you getting any more messages? You seem to be listening intently?
C: Yesā¦ I should know when to forgive and when to strike. And not feel bad about the strike. Itās the same message I getā¦ inaction lets the dark forces gain over.
[ taking deep breaths and dozes offā¦ gently snoring ]
T: [ after a few seconds ] You can come back to taking deep breaths up and down. What are some of the insights you gained overall?
C: [ taking deep breathsā¦ ] inaction lets the dark forces gain over. I still donāt know my role.
I am telling the Masters I donāt want to be on the physical plane. I am getting this strange messageā¦ They are saying I am here to mobilise my daughterā¦ She is here to create an army. I am here for her. They are saying my ex-husband was here to pull her towards the dark side, which is possibleā¦ my daughter, she can go to the dark sideā¦ to the side of destruction. I am making sure she is in the side of light. Yesā¦ this is my work. [ client taking deep breaths and assuring herself ]
T: How are you feeling now?
C: Courageousā¦ my life feels purposeful.
T: Would you like to re-visit any of your life times?
C: I dont think so. I am feeling blank
T: Let me know when you are ready to get to the affect bridge
C: [ IMR response Yes ]
T: As I count from 1 to 10, let us walk on the affect bridgeā¦ as you take every step and move forward, let this deep resentment you have on yourself collapseā¦
[ client smiles and gives IMR response Yes ]
Moved her through the affect bridge. Brought her to the garden of paradise near the beach. Played waves music [ the client mentioned earlier that ocean and waves heals her inner child ] and gave her gentle suggestions to reframe. The relaxation was anchored in self love, self forgiveness and to own up her courage and power.
Client took a while to come back to normal awareness.
Step 3:
Session 4:
FLP was done focusing on anchoring in the light and knowing that her Masters are always with her.
Stages 12 to 15 completed successfully
Summary / Conclusion:
Kumudha was able to relate how all her past lives helped her understand and relate to the struggles in her current life.
She also realized how the assurance from the Masters about her contract with her ex-husband was over felt so relieving for her. She was thrilled about the circle she saw and was explaining it in detail.
She also shared that her resentment level has come down to 2. She still wants to take action in the course of next few months to fight the legal battle towards the custody of her daughter. Only after that, she was ready to rate herself to a 0.
In a few days time, Kumudha wrote to me telling that her sleep cycle has improved and she feels fearless to face her ex-husband in the court. She knows that she can trust her inner voice as she now knows clearly that her intuition is the voice of her Masters.
