Day 1:
Session 1:
Sindhu, F, 46, 8/10, ⅖, K (V - 2; A - 4; K - 9), feeling caged in relationships, 10/10
Sindhu was an influential senior corporate leader. She had been in therapy for a few years and found it very challenging to process her repeated relationship issues. Her relationship struggles and feeling of being caged in different relationships had been since her teenage years. She was referred to PLR by her good friend. Sindhu had approached for a session to know if PLR would help her get her answers.
Stages from 1 to 5 was done.
During the Pre-talk, Sindhu had her fears about what if she sees herself as a worst person in her past life. I took time to explain to her that Karma is never retribution. Most of her doubts about PLR were around getting proper solutions as she had gone through various modes of therapy in the last few years. I explained how the Divine Masters are merciful and guide us to uncover our own solutions.
Session 2:
History Taking:
Sindhu is the first born grandchild in a big family. Though she does not remember her childhood clearly, she knew that many elders wanted to take control over her life decisions. Her brother is 1 year younger than her. Most of her life, she felt they were twins.
Her father was working in the army. So as a family of 4, they had moved to different cities. She started nursery at Ooty. From there they moved to coimbatore where she did her schooling. It was a very protected life in her younger school years.
When she was 7 years old, she had bouts of vomiting. After check-ups, they came to know that Sindhu had a hole in her heart. Her heart surgery was fixed in a few months. 3 days before her surgery, the larger family planned a party for her. She thought it was a farewell party for her as everybody gave her gifts. To this date, Sindu has treasured some of the letters and gifts.
Sindhu has a clear memory of being left alone in the hospital corridor for a while on the way to the surgery. She thought that her parents and doctor abandoned her and was weeping. During the surgery, Sindu saw herself floating above her body.
Over the years, her family kept moving to different cities in India. She had felt so caged by her father’s scolding and was longing to escape from the cage of her house.She has had various relationships with different guys at different times of her growing years, going through repeated failures. Whenever her Dad got to know about her relationship, he scolded her with nasty words.
When she was just an adult, Sindhu married a guy who was many years older to her. He was then running a small business. The marriage happened in Alaipayuthey movie style. It was only after a few months that both the families got to know about the registered marriage.
Sindhu later found out that her husband was neither well educated nor financially stable. But by then, she had become pregnant. She attempted suicide to escape reality. While the extended family blamed her, her Mom stood as Sindhu’s pillar of strength. Her first child was born.
Sindhu started working and took care of the family. Her parents supported her to do her Masters Degree in the US. After her Masters, Sindhu got a high profile job in the US. Her husband and child joined her on a dependent visa. They got their green card in the US and were living happily. Sindhu gave birth to her second child then.
Yet all through her marital life, Sindhu had also been longing for her husband to pitch in as the provider… She was tired of being the sole financial provider from a very young age. Her husband started his own business with a major part of Sindhu’s savings… While the business grew well in the first few months, in just a year’s time, they had to file bankruptcy as his partners stole all the money from the business. That’s when Sindhu gave up on her husband. Her Mom came to the US, asked Sindhu to pack up and brought her and the kids to India. Finally, Sindhu felt like she escaped yet another cage in her life - the marital life with her husband.
It was a struggle to bring up the kids as a single mother. Sindhu tried settling down with another guy - a friend from school days. In a few years, she found out that he was alcoholic. Both her kids went back to their Dad and stayed with him in the US. After a long tiff and feeling that she is caged yet again, Sindhu had to finally break away from that relationship.
Currently Sindhu is in a relationship with Sreedhar - a guy she met on a dating platform. Even after 3 years of being in the relationship, Sindhu has not got the stability in the relationship. At one end, she feels that Sreedhar might abandon her any time and on the other hand she feels caged in the relationship. Over course of time, both of them have their own trust issues on the other.
Sindhu’s life trauma is the fear of abandonment and the feeling of being caged in relationships. She feels her children abandoned her. All the men she had loved have abandoned her one way or the other. The relationships where she had invested her 100% only made her feel more and more caged over months and years. She has gone through a lot of humiliation and feels that she is a failure again and again in life.
Stages 7 to 11 were done successfully.
Sindhu took a while to finalize the theme. For her, the fear of abandonment, feeling caged in relationships and being a repeated failure - all these three weighed equally. We took a break where Sindhu wanted to go for a short walk to finalize her theme.
Sindhu came back after a 10 minute walk and finalized her theme as feeling caged. This was a big theme indeed in her life that Sindhu said the pain levels were 10/10 for her. At times the pain felt so overwhelming that she wanted to even rate it as 15 out of 10.
Session 3:
Happy Memories:
Though before the session, Sindhu kept mentioning that she does not have too many happy memories, she was ready to explore the depths of her subconscious mind. Sindhu slipped into trance effortlessly, sleeping and snoring now and then.
To her surprise, Sindhu recollected with a big smile how her mother used to stitch unique dresses for her during her school days. She also remembered the times when her family had the annual pass at Disneyland and had a lot of fun when the children were young. A lot of her happy memories were also around her career growth, promotions, being an inspiration for many young women at work, etc.
We took a break at the end of Day 1. At the end of the day, Sindhu shared that the happy memories regression helped her to gain the perspective that her life had not been that bad over all those years. There have been quite some good memories for her as well.
Day 2:
Session 3:
Sindhu came back the next day telling that she had a dream where she saw herself walking near a wall… Just touching the wall. She felt so upset as we woke up from that dream.
Age Regression:
The age regression brought out a lot of past regretful memories for her. Being the abandoned child in the corridor of the hospital was a very painful memory for her. Her children leaving her and moving in with their Dad was a memory that she found very difficult to reframe.
While reframing her future worries, her biggest worry was about dying alone in future.
Sindhu had a very clear in-utero experience, seeing herself as a baby with her hands covering her ears. She also could sense that her Mom was very scared of losing her husband as he was in the army. Sindhu could draw a parallel to her life to see how she always had this fear of losing men who were close to her.
In the regression process - before entering the womb, Sindhu again saw the dark black place that she saw in her dream. She was walking, touching a wall with her left hand. She was overcome with deep sadness when she experienced this.
When we had our lunch together, Sindhu expressed some of her concerns. Since she did not get any purpose for her lifetime or the clarity of life between lives, she had her concerns about PLR. We spoke in depth to clarify her doubts and resistances. I assured Sindhu that we will do our best and leave out our expectations. I told her that the compassionate Divine Life Force will know how to guide us. Sindhu smiled and after a short nap got ready for her PLR experience.
Session 4:
PLRT
T: This is what the therapist said.
C: This is what the client said.
After checking for the client’s comfort and temperature, Sindhu comfortably slipped into a deep trance with Dave Elman, Progressive Relaxation, Garden of Paradise near the beach, tunnel of light and affect bridge built of fear of abandonment.
Client appears tensed
T: Take deep breaths in and out pushing your stomach up and down. You are safe. What are you experiencing?
C: I am in the water. I am walking and walking. I cannot see anything else. Its completely dark. I feel empty. I think I am the baby now. I am swimming in the water. I am bald. My two hands are very small covering my ears. I am floating in the womb. I need to get out. Something is stopping me.
[ most of it is same as what she experienced during the age regression. I got tensed thinking that the affect bridge did not work for her. Before I could intervene, the client continued talking ]
Past life 1:
C: its strange… this time water is not swirling. I am in the church.
T: What you are wearing… How old are you?
C: I am probably 20 years old. I am wearing a brown gown. I have long hair - black brown hair.
T: Are you able to recognize the place?
C: The setup is somewhere abroad. I am touching a wall and walking. The wall is never ending. The wall is porous. I am slightly touching it and walking. The wall is never ending.
T: What is your name?
C: I dont know
T: As I countdown from 3 to 1, go to the next key moment in this lifetime
C: I am in the market. It feels like a ghost town. Empty tents. Lot of wind.
T: Are you wearing a ring to denote that you are married?
C: I am not wearing any jewellery. Everything is brown here.
T: As I countdown from 3 to 1, go to the next key moment in this lifetime
C: I am younger. I am 6 or 8 years old. I am alone even here. I am captured in a room. I am stuck.
T: As I countdown from 3 to 1, go to the last moments of this lifetime
C: I am old. I am by the ocean. I am in a black dress. I breathe my last. I am stuck alone somewhere
T: What are your last thoughts as you leave your body?
C: I am finally being released. My whole lifetime feels like a day in a room. Only a big ocean. Very dark nights. No meaning of my life there. No purpose. Now I am finally free. I am just floating. I am liking it. No weights.
Life between lives
T: I see that you are smiling. Is there someone with you?
C: Kutty Ganesha is here with me. HE is telling, “Let go. let go attachments. Trust me. You are always wanting something”. (the client is smiling) HE is holding my hands and asking me to run with HIM. HE is trying to pull me into a small tunnel… I am squeezing in.
Past life 2:
C: We have reached a field.
T: What field is this? What are you wearing?
C: It is a paddy field. I am in a skirt & blouse. I have long hair. I see my home far away. Ganesha is pulling me to right. HE wants me to follow Him by the river. HE wants to rest sitting. I am sitting. Looking at the river, HE smiles.
T: (after a few moments of silence) As I count down from 3 to 1, go to the next key moment in this lifetime.
C: I am gone back to where the huts were. Brown huts with light on. No one is here. I am looking for food.
T: How old are you? What are you wearing?
C: I am probably 16-18 years old. I am barefooted. I am wearing the skirt.
T: Can you recollect the year?
C: The year is 1900 something. There is just a small wooden stand with a God’s picture. It has become morning. Light is shining on my face. I have to go to work. They have all left to work.
T: Who all are there in your family?
C: Father. I am not sure about my mother. There is a younger brother who is a baby.
T: As I count down from 3 to 1, go to the next key moment in this lifetime.
C: I am older. I am now wearing a skirt with a dupatta.
T: Which place is this?
C: It’s a very remote village, somewhere in India. People are sitting around and talking.
T: What is your name?
C: My name is Sakthi. There is a lot of gloominess, darkness…poverty here. There is never enough of anything. My only solace…happiness is when I am by the lake. I wait for Krishna. He makes me happy. I love him.
T: Is Krishna someone from your present lifetime?
C: Krishna is Sreedhar from my current lifetime.
T: Sakthi, how is your relationship with Krishna?
C: We have a hide and seek relationship.
T: As I countdown from 3 to 1, go to the last moments of this lifetime
C: I die alone.
T: Sakthi, what are your last thoughts as you leave this body?
C: I love my Krishna.
Life between Lives:
C: I am floating. I am seeing a little squirrel. It is like a chipmunk, smiling like he knows me, speaking in gibberish. There is a lightness in the air.
T: What do you think was the purpose of the lifetime you just experienced?
C: In this lifetime, I was always looking at what I didn’t have. I missed out to enjoy or live life.
Past life 3:
T: [ client is tensed all of a sudden ] What is happening to you? Take deep breaths pushing your stomach up and down
C: I am in the loft of a house. I see myself as a tomboyish girl. Someone is sitting next to me.
T: Relax… You will get all details. Just take deep breaths please
C: Its an orphanage. The boy sitting next to me is my best friend. He likes sitting with me.
T: Are you able to recollect the year?
C: Feels like this is from very old British times.
T: What are you wearing?
C: [ smiling ] We are wearing hats… we are wearing pant shirt dresses.
T: Do you want to go out and explore the place?
C: I cant go out. There are people waiting there. We have stolen food.
T: Can you recognize your best friend? Is he someone from your current lifetime?
C: My best friend [frowing her eyebrows…] Oh yes… He is Sreedhar but he is younger. I see the same naughtiness in his eyes.
T: As I count down from 3 to 1, go to the next key moment in this lifetime.
C: We are older. We are by the ship on the dock. He says, “I have to go find work”. I am sad to see him go but he cant take me. But he is still small though I look older.
T: What are your name and his name in this lifetime?
C: His name is Jack. I am Mary.
T: Mary - What happens to you in that lifetime after Jack has left?
C: I am in the dock. He is gone. I go to the dock every evening waiting for him. Years go by.
T: As I count down from 3 to 1, go to the next key moment in this lifetime.
C: I am in a church. I am older. There is a mass going on. Everyone is from the village. I talk to them. No one seems that important.
T: How are you taking care of yourself Mary?
C: I am serving the church. I am working there. I am waiting for John. I am imagining him coming back as the little boy with bread in hand.
T: Mary, as I countdown from 3 to 1, go to the last moments of this lifetime
C: I am sitting in the church in the front seat. I am praying. I have a rosary in my hand. I am peacefully dying.
T: What are your last thoughts as you leave this body?
C: [ smiling ] Atleast now, there are people who came for the mass standing around me as I am dying. Next to my body, I see the boy. He is only that old as I first saw him in this lifetime - eating bread. I am smiling at the boy as I leave this body.
Life between Lives:
T: What are you feeling now?
C: I feel I was not okay to be alone in this lifetime. But now I am recognising that the boy was always there next to me… I didnt know that.
[ Client smiling with tears in her eyes… I recognize a loving presence ]
T: Is there someone with you?
C: [ nodding ]
T: A Master, is it?
C: I am seeing Jesus here. HE is hugging me. I am resting on HIS shoulders. I am at peace. HE wants me to smile. HE is rubbing my cheeks, rubbing my tears away.
T: What does Jesus want you to know?
C: Again in this lifetime, I was waiting for something and missed out to live fully. It was always a longing for something else. Something that I can’t get. I feel like a failure again. Jesus is asking, “Where is the failure? You lived life on your terms. No one humiliated you.”
Past life 4:
[ Client raises her IMR finger ]
T: Are you experiencing something?
C: I am now in a burka. I am probably in my 30s. There are lots of women here. We are inside that house. I want to break free. I want to go out.
T: Can you recognize any of the women from your present lifetime?
C: [ rolling her eyeballs ] Lots of women from the current lifetime. They all believe me. Something has happened. They have all assembled. It is a big palace. Everywhere I go, I see women.
T: Take deep breaths in and out. Relax…
C: I was alone by the ocean in the palace. Someone has left…
T: Who could that be?
C: Maybe my husband. All I know that there is glass window everywhere. I am walking and walking. I like touching the glass in the wall with my left hand as I walk.
T: What is your name? What is the year?
C: My name is Fathima. This is sometime in 1800s.
T: [ noticing the client frowning again ] Please relax and take deep breaths… What is going on for you, Fathima?
C: I am supposed to be mourning and crying for the loss of my husband. But I cant believe he is gone. I dont believe it actually. All these women are trying to convince me. I am rich and royal. I am telling them he is here.
T: Do you remember him?
C: I see a picture in the wall of us both. I am in burka. I can see my eyes… its me. He is there with beard. Its Sreedhar. His name is Mohammed or something starting with M. I see M written in the corner of the picture. In the picture, he is sitting in a big chair. I am standing behind him.
T: Fathima, are there anyone else in the picture?
C: We are alone in the picture. I dont see any kids in this picture. We are in our mid 30s.
T: As I count down from 3 to 1, go to the next key moment in this lifetime.
C: I am older. I am still in the same palace. I am running the palace. People listen to me. They respect me. Even the men listen to me. They ask me for opinions, though I am a Muslim.
T: Fathima, I notice that you are sad
C: I feel I am still stuck in the palace. I cant go out because I am a widow. There are kids running around. May be my husband had some other kids. I didn’t give birth. We both tried. I see lot of children. I take care of them.
T: As I countdown from 3 to 1, go to the last moments of this lifetime
C: One of the kids… he looks like the little boy from the church. He has an apple in hand. He is a mini version of Sreedhar. He is now like a kutti Krishna. I am peacefully dying looking at this boy. I am dying with a smile on my face.
Life between Lives:
T: Take your time to breathe and rest in this space of peace
C: [ nods yes… after a few seconds ] I see a Master here. He is wearing a turban. He was the priest from the mosque. He is telling me, “You did good”.
T: I see that your expressions are changing… What is going on for you?
C: I feel that I had everything. I couldn’t enjoy anything. I was trapped in the church. I was trapped here in this lifetime too. I have this same struggle in my current lifetime also. I am feeling tired.
T: Can you ask the Master for guidance to overcome this repeated pattern of struggle?
C: The Master is telling all this feeling is inside my head. I had everything. But, I didn’t value it. I longed for something I didn’t have or can’t get. Each life I have lived, I have been alone. I have held the ground. I have lived on my own strengths. I don’t appreciate or value it. I always think I am the victim. In reality, its the other way around. I have the power.
T: [ wiping client’s tears ] Relax and take deep breaths. Is there more guidance from the Master?
C: [ IMR yes ] My Master is telling me that I have to be proud, happy and be in acceptance of the life I have. I need to surrender to the Masters. In all my past lives, religion has kept me going. Religion has played a very important role. It is there even now for me to hold on. I was enough. I am enough. Everything else was immaterial. Each lifetime I have lived on my terms. Be it the 1800s or the 1900s. Being a woman… and I never regretted anything. May be I have put barriers. I have to look at the guardrails. I have to give attention to other things… to people in my life. Right now most other things fall flat in front of this one thing - my relationship struggles. The relationship with Sreedhar reminds me of Krishna in every birth. I am the Radha. Longing for Krishna becomes my only aim. Ultimately, we don’t know anything about Radha, isn’t it? Did she eat / did she sleep? I don’t know [deeply thinking]
Past life 5:
T: Take deep breaths… It seems as if you are looking intently
C:.[ IMR Yes… after a few seconds ] I see that I am sitting with my Mom. She says she is always there for me. She is holding my hands sitting next to me.
T: Do you feel the presence of any one else?
C: [ nodding yes ] Dad is there in the shadow behind my mom. Brother is behind him in shadows. My mom loved me for all 3 of them.
T: Would it help to call your Dad and brother to come to the front?
C: I could call them. They would sit next to me. I thought they will come on their own. Maybe they didn’t see me. May be because of the hurt I gave, they both don’t value me.
T: [ client is smiling ] I notice that you are smiling
C: I see my sons. They are little boys, running around. My mom is calling them. “Come see your grandma”. They both come sit next to my legs. Oh… I look like I am very old. I am so tall than all of them. Its the same chair I am sitting. Small rocking chair. It feels like the chair from the church and the mosque.
T: What could the year be?
C: This lifetime is somewhere between the mosque and the church lifetimes. They are all sitting around me. My mom is my daughter. I am the grandmother. My name is Sheela. I had a beautiful family. I am very old. I am wearing a saree. The year is 1900 something. There is a white calendar… no images in it. I see September written.
T: As I countdown from 3 to 1, go to the last moments of this lifetime
C: My last thoughts as I leave this body - I have everyone around me. I smile and die.
Life between Lives:
C: [ smiling peacefully ] I feel I am a goddess. Full of light. Full of power. I lived a very powerful life. I took care of my children. I lived on my terms. I am Durga but in a very shantha state. I am in a white saree. I have long hair. I have white tongue, white bindi. I am like a river. I am Ganga. I am so pure. [client is in the bliss and gets to sleep and snoring]
T: [ in a gentle voice ] As I countdown to from 3 to 1, you will be able to wake up and take deep breaths
C: [ taking deep breaths ]
T: Would you like to reflect on all these lifetimes?
C: [ IMR yes ]
Conclusion - Reflections / Insights:
C: I am a form of power or Shakti in every life. There can never be a partner that can match that. I will always be at more power. Only someone who can contain that can stay with me.
Sreedhar is equivalent to Shakti. He is Shiva. Thats why we have this battle. It is on who is more powerful. Its a ego war. All the excuses are silly. Its because we both have power. We just need to find a way to unite without burning the other because of the energy we store. I need to find the balance - the yin and yan here.
T: Can a Master help you understand how to find the balance?
C: Kutty Ganesha is here. HE is looking at his dad & mom. Shiva & Shakti. HE is telling, “Nothing can change who you are. You are the Shakti. You need to accept it. There will be more tests. You will get through. Reality is you both are made for each other. Leave all other nonsense out. Nothing can change who he is and who you are.”
[ client breathing peacefully… Continuing after a while ]
I now realise that I have to tap into my energy. I am more powerful. Shiva has no other equivalent than Shakti. He thinks he has the power and he can get away with it. It is an ego war. He is also scared of surrendering to Shakti. But he will have to contain his power. I see purity in me. I like who I am. No other energies hit me. Sreedhar’s negative energy can not come near me. I have to remember my power.
T: Would you like to re-visit any lifetime from beginning to end?
C: No… I am feeling good
T: Let me know when you are ready to get to the affect bridge
C: [ IMR response Yes ]
T: As I count from 1 to 10, let us walk on the affect bridge… as you take every step and move forward, let this feeling of being caged in relationships collapse for you…
[ client IMR response Yes ]
Moved her through the affect bridge. Brought her to the garden of paradise near the beach. Gave her gentle suggestions to reframe and bond deeply with the inner child. The relaxation was anchored in self love, self forgiveness and to own up her power. Once the client was ready to move from the garden, gave her suggestions to walk up the staircase and gradually come to normal waking awareness. Client took a while to come back to normal awareness.
Client mentioned that she wants to buy a kutty Ganesh and a kutty Krishna to keep in her work desk… or may be a keychain which will remind her that she is not alone. The entire PLR session took 4 hours and 10 minutes. The client said she felt it was just 30 minutes overall. The client started yawning when she came back to waking consciousness. She was also hungry, thirsty and wanted to take a nap for a while.
Session 4:
FLP was done focusing on anchoring in the light and knowing that her Masters, kutty Ganesha, kutty Krishna and Jesus are always with her.
Stages 12 to 15 completed successfully
Summary / Conclusion:
Sindhu was able to relate how all her past lives helped her understand and relate to the struggles in her current life. She related that all other passing relationships she had only helped her recognize her true power in this lifetime.
She also mentioned that she had been secretive about her visiting temples. As an influential Corporate leader she had been motivating individuals to own up their power. She now feels comfortable to talk about the Higher Power and for people to find their anchor to stay rooted to the Higher Power / Higher Life Force.
The pain around the feeling of caged had come down to 1. Surprisingly, Sindhu also shared that her pains around feeling abandonment and being a repeated failure in life had also significantly come down after the session. In a few days, Sindhu messaged that she is visiting temples regularly. She is also able to overcome trust issues with Sreedhar. Sindhu is exploring options with some NGOs to figure out a separate larger purpose for her in her life.
