A note to my Amarantos family.
A warm hello to all of you from Malaysia. I feel blessed to be a part of this beautiful family. Even though most of us have not met, I feel a strong connection. Honestly, I am not very active on this platform, but I try to read as much as possible. All of you are doing so well; at times, I feel a positive sense of envy.
I don’t know if I should feel ashamed or proud as I post my first case on this platform. I am from the K2 batch and received my certification in August 2021. Personally, it’s a mixture of both, but I always like to focus on positivity, so proud I am.
The reason I haven’t posted any case is that I don’t have any. I could give you a list of reasons, but no, I am not going to do that. It’s all because of me.
One thing for sure, here in Malaysia, people are not that open to the concept of PLRT. Despite that, I have tried to keep myself informed and stay on top of things, even though I don’t have any cases or clients. I followed Neha’s advice on putting myself on Google Map, and to my surprise, I had some inquiries. So, this client is through Google. Thanks a million, Neha, and not forgetting our beloved Guru, Master Dr. Venu. It’s his vision that has brought us all together today. My utmost gratitude to you.
Please take the time to read my case; I know there is a lot of room for improvement. Bring in all the advice and suggestions. I am all ears. Thank you in advance. I don’t know why I am feeling anxious while typing this note, but here it goes…
FT,F,34,6/10,1/5,A(6)K(6)Trust issues,10/10
18th Nov 23, Saturday 1100 – 1630 (stage 1 to 11)
Client Summary
According to the therapy request form, she was curious about her past life and sought a better understanding of her current life. During the contract signing stage, FT was unable to select a pain level. Her response was, 'I am actually okay’ . I don’t have anything to gauge my pain on.’ Upon completing the history-taking and finalizing the theme, I asked her again to see if she could select a pain level. To my surprise, without any hesitation, she chose 10. I believe the history-taking/talk therapy helped to bring out certain things.
FT is in a managerial position in her company and has been with them for some time now. She is happy with her job. On the surface, she appears very cheerful and happy-go-lucky. However, on a personal level, FT comes from a broken family. Her mother was given the title of a ‘home breaker.’ Her mother was the second wife and was only 23 when she married her father, who was in his 50s. The father already had 5 kids from the first marriage and 3 kids from the second. Now, all 8 siblings are in touch, and she is closest to her eldest stepsister, but it was not that simple growing up.
She remembers her parents constantly being in arguments, experiencing a lot of physical abuse, and waking up in the middle of the night to fights and chaos. All of this ended only after the parents got divorced. After the divorce, she and her siblings had to stay with the stepmom. Being under the care of the stepmom was not that bad, but she could sense the hatred or anger the stepmom had toward them, especially toward her mom. Due to that, at times, they were bullied at home with extra chores and name-calling
Today, according to what FT says, she doesn’t harbour any grudge or anger towards her parents or stepmother. However, what I sense is that she likes to suppress her emotions with a smile. Even FT agrees with that, and it has come to a point where she has lost trust in people. Her coping mechanism during childhood was focusing on her academics. She loved all the attention she received from being the best. This was a way for her to silence all the negative talk and name-calling directed at her and her mother. She believed her siblings might have had their own childhood traumas, but they never talked about it. She was so focused on being the best that today she has developed a character where settling for second place is not an option. If ever she slacks, she tends to go to the other extreme of not performing at all. This is the situation at work now. Due to a merger, she has not been able to achieve targets at work, and her boss is totally fine with it since the merger is affecting everyone. However, she feels that this has been an unproductive year because of it, and she believes she’s slacking on everything.
She has been in a few relationships, but somehow, it has not worked out. She prefers being with married men because they tend to give her more space compared to single men, who can be very clingy. However, she feels, in the end, she can’t trust men because they may cheat. If a married man can cheat on his wife with her, for sure, he can do the same with her. She also feels that single men will also cheat. So, it boils back down to trust .
FT is 34 and wants to settle down. Her last relationship was with a married man, which only lasted for a year. They broke up about two months ago. They were planning marriage, and she was ready for the next step with him. She feels he was a suitable match for her. Things didn’t work out due to her ex having some financial issues, and he was not in a position for additional commitment. When I asked her how she coped with the breakup, she said it was okay. Since he didn’t want to continue, she just gave in. She also said, ‘If someone wants to be in your life, he will fight all the odds, but if he doesn’t want to, then all kinds of reasons will be given. So, in this case, he doesn’t want me.’
On the other hand, I asked her what happens if he wants you back, what you would do. ‘I will take him back,’ she replied. ‘Maybe I will make it difficult for him, but eventually will give in, as she feels he is a good match for her.’ Here, FT’s opinion tends to contradict what she is saying, which again she agrees with, as at times, even she doesn’t know what she wants, and probably she said this could be an area for her to work on.
She said she has always suppressed her emotions, and this was the first time she was talking about it and had a chance to go within. FT became emotional while sharing how wonderful she felt when her father told her he was proud of her because she attained excellent results for her university exams. Her father had always been there but never said anything encouraging. That was one of the best days of her life; the validation from her father meant a lot to her. She has a better relationship with him now.
Day 1
Theme: Trust Issue
Induced using Dave Elman, then progressive relaxation
Visualization- Light, Stairs and Forest
Childhood Memory
T: What comes to your awareness?
C: My mom is holding my hand.
T: Where are you?
C: At a restaurant.
T: How old are you?
C: About 3 or 4.
T: Is there anyone else?
C: Yes, both my siblings.
T: How about your Father, is he around?
C: No he is with his first wife.
T: How does this make you feel?
C: I am missing him.
T: What are you doing at the restaurant?
C: Having macaroni and cheese. I can really taste the macaroni.
T: How do you fee being there with your mum, siblings and have macaroni.
C: Enjoying it, but mum wants to make us feel better.
T: What do you mean by that?
C: Because father is not around.
T: How you feel about that?
C: Happy
T: Do you want to be here a while and enjoy the moment?
C: Yes
T: (After a pause) you can hold on to this feeling of happiness and revisit it whenever you want.
T: Can we proceed further?
C: Yes
T: Let’s explore another childhood memory, perhaps from when you were younger.
C: (Long pause, with some movement and discomfort around the eyes.)
T: Is there any memory coming thru?
C: No
Looking a little uncomfortable, I missed the moment to check what was coming to her awareness. I assumed she was not relaxed enough because, when she tried to proceed to the next childhood memory, nothing came to her attention. I initiated another round of relaxation.
FT started experiencing irritation in her throat and began coughing. It reached a point where I had to offer her water. We attempted to continue afterward, but it wasn’t possible, and she wanted to stop.
After emerging from the session, she confided that she was feeling overwhelmed. Going back to her childhood was challenging due to numerous bitter memories, and finding pleasant ones was difficult. The memory she shared was vivid, as though she were truly present, able to feel and taste the food. Simultaneously, unpleasant memories surfaced. She realized that her mother had run away, leaving her behind with her father. While she believed she knew this, she had suppressed it to the point of forgetting. It became unbearable for her to acknowledge it again. She struggled to let her guard down, even while talking to me, repeatedly expressing feeling overwhelmed and unsure how to react.
Following our Guru Dr. Venu’s teachings that our clients’ well-being is a priority, I couldn’t let her leave with such heavy emotions. I decided to give her more time to share and talk about what had come to her awareness regarding her mother.
T: “Being there as a child, is there anything you would have done differently for the outcome to be different?”
C: “No, I was just a child. I couldn’t do much.”
I wanted her to express this herself. I further supported her statement by saying, “Yes, exactly. It was a decision two adults took to get married, to have kids, and also to get divorced. You had no say in it. What was supposed to happen has happened, but undoubtedly, in the process, you and your siblings had to go through a lot.”
FT is a beautiful soul. Despite going through so much, she holds no grudges against anyone, this is what she told me. I advised her to relax and not overthink it. There must be a reason why the memories resurfaced. We will explore this further tomorrow.
Day 2
19th Nov 23, Sun 1215 – 1445 (stage 8 to 13)
Induced using Dave Elman, then progressive relaxation
Visualization- Light, Stairs and Forest
Childhood Memory
T: What is coming to your awareness?
C: Serving a pie
T: Who is serving the pie?
C: A lady, smiling.
Top of Form
T: Do you know who the lady is?
C: (Pause) no.
T: Look around, what is happening, who else is there?
C: Took out the pie from oven. Siblings are around too.
FT was looking little disturbed/sad.
T: Let me know what’s is going on now? What is coming to your awareness, senses.
C: I did not get to eat the pie.
T: What happened? Why didn’t you get to eat it?
C: I had to go somewhere.
T: How did this make you feel?
C: Sad, I really wanted to eat the pie. I feel as though she baked the pie especially for me.
T: Can you look at your feet and yourself, what are you wearing?
C: Brown dress (which later she corrected me brown shirt) and shoesTop of Form
T: How you feel being in the house?
C: Nice, warm.Top of Form
T: Can we proceed further or you still want to be here for a while.
C: Want to continue being here, I want to see where did I go?Top of Form
T: Sure at the count of 3 you will get the understanding. 1,2,3……Let me know what comes to your awareness?
C: Went to catch animal?
My mistake….all this while I was thinking FT is sharing her childhood memory but when she said went to catch animal only I realize this is probably beyond childhood.
Top of Form
T: Where did you go to catch animal?
C: Forest.Top of Form
T: Did you go alone or there is anyone else with you?
C: With my uncle.
T: Look at his eye, do you know him from this life.
C: (Pause) no.
T: Look at yourself, how old are you?
C: Probably a teenager.
T: What is happening now?
C: Hunting for a deer. I don’t like it.
T: What is it that you don’t like?
C: Killing animals.
T: How doesn’t make you feel?
C: Sad.
T: Do you want to continue being here, or we can proceed?
C: Proceed.
T: Go to the next significant even I this life?
C: Everyone is gone.
(FT’s voice and face was giving a sad emotion)
T: What do you mean by everyone is gone, who are you referring to?
C: Everyone who was in the house early is gone.
T: How does this make you feel?
C: Sad, alone. I am taking a boat somewhere.
T: Look at feet and yourself, what are you wearing?
C: Shirt and pants.
T: How old are you?
C: About 20.
T: Do you know where are you going in the boat?
C: To the city, for job.
T: What else comes to your awareness?
C: No one like me.
T: Do you know your name, what do people call you?
C: No I am a mute guy.
T: Meaning?
C: I can’t speak.
T: How does that make you feel?
C: I am ok, I enjoy being alone and love looking at the moon.
T: Can you see the moon now?
C: Yes
T: Do you want to be here a little longer?
C: Yes
T: Remember you can always comeback and revisit this pleasant memory
C: Yes
Long pause……
T: Shall we proceed further?
C: There is a girl
T: Who is she, look at her eyes, and see if you know her?
C: No. She likes the moon too, but not saying anything. (later upon being awake FT said it felt like her best friend from this life)
T: At the count of 3 you will see what happened between both of you? 1…2…3….be there.
C: I am working at a factory.
T: How old are you now?
C: 30+
T: What happened between you and the girl, did you’ll end up together.
C: No
T: How does this make you feel?
C: I am poor. My hands looks old are dirty.
T: What is making your hands dirty?
C: I have to stuff the coal, hate the smell. People curse me a lot.
T: What you mean curse you a lot, who is cursing, what makes them to curse you?
C: My colleague and bosses. Everyone thinks I am so dumb and slow.
T: Do you recognise anyone there from your current life.
C: Yes, my ex-boss.
T: Anyone else?
C: Yes. Nicky.
T: And who is Nicky?
C: Another ex-boss. (FT’s first boss ever)
T: How are your bosses threating you?
C: They are not nice, mean.
T: How does this makes you feel?
C: Upset, sad.
T: You understand rite that the bad relationship you had with your bosses is in the past.
C: Yes
T: What would you like to do? Do you want to hold on to the emotion or you want to let it go.
C: I want to let it go. Pause…….
T: At the count of 3 go to the next significant event in this life.
C: I am back to my house.
T: Which house is this?
C: My childhood home, where I didn’t get to eat the pie.
T: Is there anyone else with you, how old are you?
C: No I am all alone and old….very old.
T: Go to the last moment of this life.
C: Yes I am dying.
T: Where are you?
C: Outside the house.
T: What are you doing there?
C: Lying on the grass. Looking at the sun. I love the grass and the sun.
T: How are you feeling being there? What are your last thoughts?
C: My cat is here. She wants to accompany me.
T: That’s nice, do you recognize the cat from this life, and do you have any pets?
C: No but I love cats.
T: Where is the cat now? What do you call her?
C: Beside me. Her name is gloomy.
T: What are you experiencing now?
C: I am floating.
T: How do you feel?
C: Happy and light.
T: What is the learning from this life?
C: Everyone hates me but it’s ok to be alone.
T: Would you like to be here or can we proceed?
C: Proceed
Since FT went direct to a past life, decided to continue and go to another life time.
T: At the count of 5 to 1….go back to a time where the answers lays, time where the trust issue started, the root cause. 5…4…3…2…1. Let me know what comes to your awareness?
C: Uncle, aunty and mum is there.
T: Is this another life time or this life?
C: This life at mum’s old house.
T: How old are you?
C: About 5 or 6.
T: Share with me what is going on, where are you, what are doing, who is there?
C: Uncle (mum’s brother) bought me a console game.
T: That’s nice, how do you feel getting a gift from him.
C: Betrayed, sad.
T: I don’t understand, can you explain.
C: Uncle decided to sell the game.
T: That must be awful, what else is happening?
C: Love my grandma’s cooking, she is cooking for all of us.
T: It seems like all of you have gathered at grandma’s house. Is there anything else you would like to share?
C: My 3rd uncle is pulling my leg.
T: Pulling your leg in what way? Is he playing with you?
C: Yes and my aunt is holding.
T: It must be nice being among your family, how do you feel being there?
C: Loved and so much fun.
T: Great, would like to hold on to this feeling of being loved a little longer?
C: Yes. (Long pause)
T: Remember you can revisit the memory or feelings anytime. Now let’s proceed further, (before I could complete…….
C: FT said my aunty is caring me.
T: Can you elaborate more, where are you and why she is caring you?
C: At the playground, I can’t walk.
T: How old are you, can you look at your feet and yourself see what are you wearing?
C: I am about 1 year old. Wearing a yellow dress.
T: Who else is there with you?
C: Grandma.
T: Where is your mum?
C: She is working and grandma hates this.
T: What does your grandma hates?
C: Mum not being around and not taking good care of me.
T: We shall proceed at the count of 5 to 1….go back to a time where the answers lays, time where the trust issue started, the root cause. 5…4…3…2…1. Let me know what comes to your awareness?
C: Can see my father.
T: Can you look at yourself, how old are you. Is this from this life or another?
C: About 10, current life.
T: What comes to your awareness?
C: Mum is angry, she didn’t get anything.
T: Meaning?
C: They are arguing before the divorce. Dad is not giving her anything out of the divorce.
T: Where are you, how are you feeling, seeing and hearing all this?
C: Scared, sad.
T: Where is all this happening?
C: In mum’s old house (grandma house)
T: Is there anyone there to comfort you?
C: No.
T: Let’s go to another significant event? See what comes to your awareness? (FT face expression change to slight smile)
C: I am packing with mum.
T: Where are you going?
C: Indonesia
T: Would you know why you going Indonesia and what is making you happy?
C: After divorce mum is going to Indonesia and I am going with her. Feeling happy I get to go with her?
T: What else is happening?
C: She left me behind, everyone lied to me. I can’t trust anyone.
T: This must be so painful for you? Let me know what are you feeling? Who is the every one you referring to?
C: I am angry, feel betrayed and cheated. My mum and uncles lied to me.
T: Would you know what made them to lie to you?
C: Uncles were trying to protect me, mum had no choice.
T: Now since you know the reason, how do you feel about it? What would you want to do about it?
C: Feel helpless but its ok. Maybe that was the only way.
T: Going thru what you went thru as a child was not easy, you been holding on to a lot of emotions. Such as anger, betrayal, sadness. What would you like to do about this?
C: I want to let go of everything.
T: Does this mean you want to forgive those who have hurt in the past.
C: Yes, that what I want to do.
T: (Pause) shall we proceed further.
C: No
T: Meaning you want to come out.
C: Yes, tired.
T: Sure, before we do that can this 34 year old FT visit the 10 year old and give her a warm tight hug. Make her understand, that there was nothing she would have done differently for a better outcome. Tell her you are proud of her achievements and send her lots of love. Take your time and let me know when you are ready.
C: (Pause, feeling emotional) ok I am ready.
T: How do you feel?
C: Good, relax.
EMERGED
INTEGRATION
- Client feels the trust issue started in this life itself, when her mother left her behind and her family (mother’s brothers) lied to her.
- Client understands now, why she loves cats. She don’t have a pet but always feed stray cats and how cats easily gets attracted to her.
- Even though she is an extrovert but loves to sit and observe people, this is something she learned during the mute life time.
- Now she understand the relationship she had with Nicky (her ex-boss from this life). Very important point she made….even though me and Nicky had a love hate relationship but whatever I am today in corporate world it’s all due to her drilling or you can say as grooming now.
LBL
- It’s ok to be alone.
- You can’t make everyone like you.
CLOSURE
- Pain level drop to 6.
- Client wants to explore more past lives, she is happy with what has emerged.
- Feels good with the inner child healing.
- It was a good feeling since there was no one during that time to hold and protect her.
REPORT AND RECOMMENDATION
- During history talking we come to a conclusion client needs to learn how to accept herself in all situation.
- She don’t have to be the best in everything. She is going to start practicing that.
- She needs to applaud and treat herself for every small achievement.
- I gave her a gift bag (refer picture) . It consist of a note book, and star shape stickers, love shape sticky note, pen with a diamond at the top, candle. All the things in the bag has a positive symbolic.
