Please read Part 1 before reading Part 2.
Session 4
This session was done four days later.
After going into trance with Dave Elman, Progressive Relaxation, Garden of Peace on a beach, Tunnel of Light and Affect Bridge built of intense suffocation and hurt.
T: This is what therapist said.
C: This is what client said.
T: What do you see?
C; Keeps quiet and moans after a moment
T: Anything painful?
C: Darkness…Bench… I am sitting on the bench or something. No back rest…I feel have been sitting for some time.
T: Allow yourself to move towards any light that you may spot even at a distance.
C: I cannot see anything…I cannot move…I want to come out.
T: Slowly come out…and imagine yourself standing in front of another door. You may indicate with your hand if can see another door.
C: Raises hand…I am opening the door
T: What do you see?
C: Many people…I see many people coming and sitting on the ground.
T: Look at your feet. What are you wearing?
C: Many people wearing dhoti…I have mojari on my feet and me…I am wearing saffron dhoti…wearing something else on my upper body…mojari is made of leather.
T: Where are you?
C: In the village center…there was a tree big tree…some rocky platform at its base…there is going to be a debate…debate between Shastri and Vidushi.
T: Who is Shastri and who is Vidushi?
C: I am called Vidushi by people.
T: And Shastri?
C: I can see Vishal (name changed, husband); he is wearing white dhoti…the man in that attire…is addressed as Shastri by some or Guruji
T: What else do you see?
C: There is a huge crowd…people are coming in.
T: What year is this?
C: (Quiet…no answer)
T: Look around if you can see or hear anything…walk a little here and there…
C: Buddhism and Jainism are established religions now…Kalinga War has been fought…sometime after that…I cannot understand the year.
T: What is this debate about?
C: The debate is on Philosophy of life…….it has stared.
T: What is being said?
C: Guruji is saying…What we see is the truth but I do not agree…I feel that greater truth exists beyond what we see. As I hear him speaking, I feel drawn towards Guruji…want to hear more about his views. I am still holding my opinion …but feel drawn towards what he says.
T: What about Shastri?
C: He is also speaking with respect even if he does not agree with mine…
T: Who are the people watching you?
C: Some Guru’s from ashrams, some neighbouring kings and common people…the former are asking questions…we are handling in our own way.
T: What happens next?
C: The debate is over….Some people are believing in his views and some others are showing their agreement with my views. No aggression and everyone has gone home. Me and Shastri have become friends.
T: I will be counting 3…2…1…allow yourself to go to the next most important point in your lives…
C: We are meeting again…we meet again and are discussing our views with great respect and understanding. We have become good friends…I address him as Gyan these days.
T: Good…I will again be counting 3…2…1…allow yourself to go to the next most important point in your lives…
C: Shows discomfort…difficulty in breathing…I am drowning…nothing is left around me…water…stretching away …carrying me…great force……it is dark.
T: Relax…keep breathing …it is not happening to you now…relax…if you feel very uncomfortable you may float above and breathe….
C: Gyan was there but saving himself…he did not see me… he did not notice me…But he knew how to swim…I thought once of calling him but then had second thoughts…what if he sank due to me. I saw a cow’s horns and I remember drinking its milk. (the eyes of the animal are like Rusty…the street dog she has adopted).
T: What did you do next?
C: I am slowly sinking…I am no longer trying to make it out alive…I will rather drown than force myself upon Gyan (quiet for some time) …I am now seeing from above…I am feeling light as I am floating.
T: Slowly allow yourself to go the beginning of this life…Vidushi’s life
C: Breathes deeply …quiet for some time…I can see a hut made of mud. My mother is with me but she is not my real mother. My birth mother is dead. This young lady is bringing me up…she is a disciple of another Guruji and we stay at his ashram. (I feel this is my Masi or mother’s sister from her eyes)
T: How old are you?
C: Four or five years
T: What do people call you?
C: Bhumi
T: What all do you do?
C: Ma teaches me a lot of things and hopes that someday I will become a great name …a Vidushi.
I am also taking lessons from Guruji. My mother says, ‘Keep learning!’
T: I will be counting 3…2…1…allow yourself to move to next significant event in your life…
C: The king has summoned me…has heard about me. My mother is ecstatic as this was a future she saw for me…Ma is herself very learned and she also imparts lessons along with Guruji.
T: Do you have friends? You ever see yourself playing or enjoying some other way?
C: Ma is one of my teachers…I like being in the vicinity of my books. Guruji and Ma keep me engaged in the study of Shapuntal…Ramayan…Kamasutra…I don’t feel alone…I feel I am surrounded by many characters.
T: How old are you now?
C: At 16/17 …I had gone to the king’s court. I answered all questions that were asked. However, the questions that I raised were answered by none. The greatest pandits were silent. I returned victorious.
T: What were you wearing?
C: Brown dhoti…and some form of upper body cover…I am not much bothered about wahat I’m clas in. I want to study…people have since then started calling me Vidushi.
There is a small calf in the ashram…I got it as a reward from the king…very small…I took care of it…clear white body and I named it Ganga.
T: What do you do throughout the day?
C; I study and then play around with Ganga…time flows by…I wish that Ganga becomes useful to others………I planted vegetables…made manure naturally using cow dung and the urine of a cow. So, it is paddy fields-Ganga-Studies!
T: What are you studying now?
C: Chanakya…Rajneeeti…I am not liking Chanakyaneeti …cannot comprehend it.
I like Rashayan shastra(chemistry)…alchemy…The reign of Ashoka was over…People are fonder of the throne, the line of succession and not the subjects.
T: How old are you?
C: About 24/25 years
T: I will be counting 3…2…1… allow yourself to go to the next significant moment of this life.
C: I am going for a debate…There is going to be a debate on philosophy. Some new Shastri has come. I have met someone like him for the first time whose views I like to hear and discuss,
T: Do you meet after that?
C: He also respects my Guruji…the senior one. Guruji asked him to stay put for somedays. We talk about so many things. Gyan has given up his position of the Royal priest to pursue the study of Shastras with single minded dedication. He requires no dedication.
T: Anything in particular?
C: No… We meet, discuss and debate each other’s views… we are good!
T: I will be counting 3…2….1 and allow yourself to go the next important point in the life of Vidushi
C: I want to marry Gyan but he does not intend to marry me!…
T: Did he say so? Did he want to get married to anyone else?
C: No, he does not want to get married at all. He is only interested in discussing and debating about the Shastras and knowledge of books. As I knew this, I never pressed him or even told him. Kept feeling very sad but could not tell anyone.
C; I am about 28/30.
T: Does anyone else know you are suffering?
C: Ma and Guruji are aware but they say that I alone need to speak up for myself…Ma says she finds it difficult to see me in pain but cannot intervene in this matter. Same is Guruji’s opinion.
T: And what did you decide?
C: We are together for quite some time now. I did not want to force myself upon him in any way.
I did not let him sense anything…then the devastating flood occurred.
T: How old were you at the time of the flood?
C: When it flooded…I was around 30/35 years of age. So, I did not force my emotions on him…nobody survived that night.
T: What are you seeing now?
C: Light…
T: You may ask the light for guidance…
C: (Kept quiet…Then very softly said) It is not bad to be emotional…it may be good to be practical but if emotions are there in the heart, one should let it flow…I am being told …express yourself…Maybe things would have happened differently had I confided to Gyan…I should have at least tried. I should try next time.
T: If you want to cherish the presence of the light allow yourself to do so…
C; I am feeling good…very good
