Name: Y | Gender: M | Age: 49 yrs|
Hypnotisability Score: 7/10 | Eye Roll Score: 2/4
Dominant Sense VAK: 6/6/3
Pain Level Before: 10 & Pain Level After: 1
Event: Missing loved ones dearly
Subjective Interpretation: Wanting love and guidance from the elders of the family at the times of hardships
Conflict: No conflict. Longing to see Mom and Dad and other elders seeking their blessings
Decision made to resolve the conflict: No conflict, feeling blessed after the session
Script: Missing loved ones esp in troubled times
Theme : Missing the family that have left for heavenly abode.
Client History Highlights:
Y is the second child, born into a very large and religious zamindar family. His birth brought a lot of joy and celebration into the family. Loved by his parents, grandparents and great grandparents. His mother loved to stitch clothes for him with her own hands. As he started growing older to the age of 2-3 years, he loved to play and run around fast, asking his mom to catch him as he ran very fast and his elder brother too found it difficult to catch hold of him.
From the time he could recall anything, he said that he could see Lord Krishna as his guide.
They stayed in a large joint family, with over 70-80 people, from his great grandfather’s brothers to their children, grandchildren and so on. His grandfather owned 3 collieries and used to be very helpful to whole family, helping them establish their business, finding jobs for younger boys of the family and friends, even strangers. This was the reason why his grandfather was very popular and loved by all. After the coal mines were nationalised, they started their own business of water for injecting and were happy and contented with whatever Krishna wished.
But, it’s not easy to stay in a large family, where there can be all kinds of people living. On the morning of Dussehra when Y was 3 YO, his mother gave him a bath, made him wear new clothes and asked the maid to take him to all the elders of the family to seek their blessings and she would join them soon. After a while, when his mother went to see where he was, her aunt-in-law (an extremely jealous lady, very much involved in black magic) was feeding him jalebis. For a second, she felt that her heartbeat stopped as everyone in the family was very scared of this lady. But then, she recollected herself and thought, what will she do to this innocent kid and on such an auspicious day. She took him back home, and he played a lot that whole day with grandparents, great grandparents. By the time it was evening he was extremely tired and by 7 PM he went off to sleep.
By the time it was midnight, he started crying a lot and he had very high fever. The whole family woke up, called for family doctor who gave him medicines but it did not help him at all, the fever wasn’t going down and he kept crying all night. His father took him in his arms very close to his chest and kept walking all night. The moment it was dawn, they all took him to hospital and there they came to know that it wasn’t an ordinary fever, Y will never be able to walk anymore, he had polio now. Everyone, in the family, friends, even the hospital staff were weeping, except one person…
Now, Y could not even sit without support, leave alone walk. His parents knew that now more than ever, his education was of utmost importance. He went to the best convent school (the school allowed for him a help, who stayed with him all the time). He remembered, he once fell from a seesaw, his forehead was bleeding and his class teacher crying along with him, took him in her arms and ran to the first aid room.
His treatment for polio started in Bellevue Hospital (that was the best that his parents could afford then), and every summer and winter vacation when other kids went for vacation, Y was on the hospital bed, lying quietly, playing with his toy cars. The doctors and nurses there, loved him as he was a quiet boy who never disturbed anyone and with no tantrums at all. After many operations, Y was better and was able to walk on crutches. He had accepted whatever was God’s will. A devotee of Lord Krishna, every year he’d celebrate Janmashtami and Jhulan (Bal Gopal is made to sit on a swing and someone has to keep swinging Him, pulling a silk string tied to the swing).
As time passed, he being a brilliant student, completed his schooling, B.E and management. He said, not just his family, even his friends never let him feel that he was in any way less than them. All loved him, supported him and he always felt Krishna by his side.
Now, he’s married and has two children. A very loving, happy and God loving family. Inspite of the fact that Y is highly qualified, worked in the best MNCs, his wife working too, his life has always been full of struggles and hardships. He lost his elder bother in an accident when he was in his 30s, lost his mother an year after that when she was in her 50s and within a few years his father too left him for heavenly abode. Very close to his family, Y misses all of them a lot, especially during hard times.
As he started growing older, he saw a lot of life (which he did not know and was kept protected as a child)…… Cheated for money, taken advantage of, by colleagues and seniors, betrayed by business partner, a lot of financial losses. But, he never lost hope and stood strong always feeling the presence of Krishna by his side.
When I asked him, would he be interested in a regression therapy (as he’s going through a huge financial loss at the moment), he was more than happy to give it a try, not expecting anything more than some relief from the stress that he was going through at this point of time.
I let him know that he can opt out of the process if at all he feels uncomfortable. I also told him whatever we discuss, with remain between us, I’m under the oath of confidentiality, to which he laughed and said I don’t mind you telling everything to anyone, I have the courage to open my heart to everyone! This was enough to convince me how strong he is…
We started with Induction - Dave Elman and Progressive Relaxation
Visualisation - Paradise of Peace (by this time he was already very much relaxed)
(Here T is the Therapist and C is the client)
T: In this garden, the deepest, deepest levels of your mind can open up helping you remember everything that is required.
Maybe we can go back in time to a happy moment from your childhood.
In this deeply peaceful, relaxed and clam state, let your mind pick out a happy childhood memory. If you wish you can keep it a pleasant memory. If at any time you become uncomfortable, just imagine yourself back in the garden resting. You are always in control. If you wish you can float above the scene watching as if from a distance… or you can be in it, feeling it, seeing it vividly with colours and details, with emotions and feelings. This is always up to you.
C: (IMR) I’m able to walk on crutches for the first time. Mummy is crying with happiness. Whole family is clapping.
T: That’s great! How old are you?
C: I’m 8 YO now
T: Do you recall anything else?
C: [Long pause] No
T: Allow yourself to enjoy and cherish this moment.
I then bring him back to the garden. I see a smile on his face. Deeply relaxed and blissful.
T: Imagine a wise and loving being or beings comes and joins you in the garden and you can communicate with them…. whether through words or symbols or images or thoughts or feelings… it does not matter. You can ask questions and listen to their answers. You can ask for what you need…. Feel the peace and love.
C: (IMR) I see Dadi… now Dada. Budha Dada (that’s what he called his great grandfather), he is wearing white kurta and dhoti, black spectacles, round frame. Budhi Dadi (his great grandmother) is standing behind him, her eyes very piercing and deep, looking deep into my eyes and praying for me. Dada is wearing a khadi prince coat. Dadi is very properly ready as usual, wearing a saree, chudi, bindi, sindoor. Mummy and Daddy are also here but they are standing silently and quietly behind them.
[Long pause]
T: Would you like to ask questions from them?
(Tears started rolling down his eyes and I try to control myself from crying, trying to remain composed)
C: I’m asking them to help me overcome my financial troubles. I’m tired now, I need your help and guidance. Please help me. (He’s sobbing and telling this)… Budha Dada is saying, ‘it will be done’… Dadi is telling me Y, unite the whole family. [Pause…] Dada is saying, ‘he will be able to do it, only he can do it’… (Dadi said, humare pariwaar ko jod do, Dada said, ye kar lega, yahi kar sakta hai)… Dadi’s hands are now on my head. Budha Dada and Budhi Dadi are reassuring me that they will take care of all troubles, I need not worry about them anymore.
T: Cherish this beautiful moment and hold on to it, as long as you wish to…
(Sometimes I see a smile on his face and sometimes tears rolling down his eyes)
T: Take deep breaths and fill yourself with the love and light that is being showered upon you.
[Pause]…
Put yourself back in the garden and you’ll be there. Even though you stay in complete control, alert, awake, in full control of your body and mind, you will still be filled with peace and understanding, calmer and more joyful than before.
(Y taking deep breaths)
T: And now it is time to awaken. And I will awaken you by counting up from 1 to 10… with each number, you will be more awake and alert, in full control of your body and your mind… feeling wonderful, feeling great, refreshed, relaxed and yet filled with beautiful energy and love.
1…2…3 gradually awakening… feeling wonderful
4…5…6 more and more awake and alert… feeling great
7…8… nearly awake now…
9…10.
I see a broad smile on his face, ‘very deeply satisfying’ he said.
Pain level (after the session was already 6)
We agreed to start the session at 9 AM next morning.
Next day, I see him over enthusiastic to start the session, full of joy. I ask him what is he expecting from the next session, to which he said, I’ve already received the blessings of all my elders and they have assured me they would take care of everything. What more can I ask for. I leave it upon you.
I felt that there was no need for him to go to past life at the moment, seeing him so joyful! Affect bridge is what I decided to do.
Starting with induction - Dave Elman and Progressive Relaxation
Visualization (stairs…garden)
After relaxing the client for a while in the garden.
T: Maybe now you can find a way out to this garden leading to a road.
C: (IMR)
T: Start walking on this road… and this road may lead you to a mountain. You can start climbing up on this mountain……(IMR) It’s completely safe for you to walk upward. The mountain is not very steep and thus you can climb it easily and comfortably…. And as you climb up, you can imagine the surrounding. Maybe some beautiful trees, grass. Maybe you can feel the soft breeze on your cheeks, the freshness around or maybe you can hear the soothing sound of soft rustling of leaves, the birds chirping…
As I count from 5-1, allow yourself to reach at the top of the mountain to the cliff. It is completely safe here, there you may imagine a railing around this cliff to keep you safer, having enough space for you to stand comfortably. Do you feel safe here?
C: Yes
T: Now you can imagine a beautiful ocean beyond this cliff. You may look around, maybe you can imagine some beautiful mountain ranges around, maybe a boat in the ocean and maybe you can even imagine how does the horizon looks like, where the ocean and the sky meets. You can choose it to be anytime of the day.
[Long pause]
C: (IMR)
T: Standing on this cliff, you can imagine two empty boxes. A bigger box behind you and a smaller box in front of you.
C: (IMR)
T: Open the bigger box. And in a moment I am gonna count from 3-1, on the count of one allow yourself to pick up all the unpleasant and hurtful memories that happened within last one month. Take your time, pick up all those memories one by one, you can put a heavy metal frame around those memories and put it in the bigger box that is behind you. Take as much time as you need, Let me know whenever we can move forward
(EMDR)
[Long Pause]
T: Now going back to last 6 months, if there are any hurtful, painful, unpleasant, discomforting, disturbing memories, that you’d like to put a heavy metal frame around those memories and put them in the bigger box behind you.
[Pause]
C: (IMR)
T: Now in the last 1 year, if there are any hurtful, painful, unpleasant, discomforting, disturbing memories, that you’d like to put a heavy metal frame around those memories and put them in the bigger box behind you.
C: (IMR)
T: In the last 5 years, if there are any hurtful, painful, unpleasant, discomforting, disturbing memories, that you’d like to put a heavy metal frame around those memories and put them in the box.
C: (IMR)
T: In the last 10 to 20 years or years beyond that, if there are any hurtful, painful, unpleasant, discomforting, disturbing memories, that you’d like to put a heavy metal frame around those memories and put them in the bigger box behind you.
C: (IMR)
T: Now, try to recall your childhood memories, if there are any hurtful, painful, unpleasant, discomforting, disturbing memories, that you’d like to put a heavy metal frame around those memories and put them in the bigger box behind you.
C: IMR (Tears rolling down his eyes)
T: If you feel that there are still any memories that you’d like to put into this box, please do that.
[Pause]
T: Have you put all the hurtful, unpleasant, disturbing memories into the box?
C: (IMR)
T: Now you can close this bigger box. And turn around to the smaller box that is in front of you. Open that smaller box. In a moment I am gonna count from 3-1, on the count of one allow yourself to become aware of any future worries, anxieties, dilemmas, concerns, or any tension that impacts you. Take your time, gradually think of everything that makes you worry about future, put a heavy metal frame around that concern and keep it into the smaller box that is in front of you. And let me know whenever we can move ahead.
(EMDR)
3…2…1
[Long Pause]
C: (IMR)
T: Now you can close that smaller box as well and if you wish you can lock both the boxes. As I count from 5-1, you can push both the boxes off the cliff into the ocean.
5…4…3….2…1
T: Let me know when you have pushed those boxes into the ocean.
T: If the boxes feel heavy and you need any help to push those boxes off the cliff you can take help from your Guide or Master to push them off the cliff into the ocean
C: (IMR)
T: Were you able to push both the boxes?
C: (IMR)
T: You may now allow yourself to feel the peace and relief. How does it feel like to let go of all the past hurtful, unpleasant, discomforting, disturbing memories and how does it feels like to let go of all the future worries, to let go of all the burden that you were carrying on your shoulders…. Enjoy the surrounding while you are standing on this cliff, feel the soft wind flowing, maybe the birds chirping, beautiful ocean.
Be there for a moment, and let me know whenever we can move ahead.
C: (IMR)
T: As I count from 1-5, on the count of 5 allow yourself to return back to the garden
1…2…3…4…5
T: Are you back in the garden?
C: (IMR)
T: Just relax in this beautiful spiritual garden…
(After taking IMR, emerged as per process, left him lying down, asking him to open his eyes whenever he feels like)
Once he was ready, I offered him a cup of warm milk.
(On a lighter note) Asked him if he threw the boxes in the ocean or not? He said, I tied a thick chain around them, threw them and never looked back (starts laughing).
Pain level (after 3rd session) : 1
I could feel, how light he was from inside. We decided to have few more sessions after a couple of months…… and the journey begins…
